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Our vampire hero, Jonathon, carried out his plan. He sublimated into a posh D.C. residence and abducted a certain, highly disliked presidential advisor. Then he deposited the man down on the street in a , shall we say, very rough Washington neighborhood. Before rising into the dark, night sky he ripped off the startled functionary's night shirt, howled as only one of the night-folk can ( setting off car alarms, waking sleepers who ran out with pit-bulls chomping at the bit), kicked him in the butt and disappeared.
They cornered the naked presidential advisor (who shall remain nameless) behind a 2011 Cadillac Escalade. He was whining and crying and going - No...no... Oh God... Oh God........
Some of the guys from the block would get too close with their pitt bulls. He'd go - Get away from me!... The dogs were pulling on their chains and growling and all...... Finally, an old woman goes - He's that fat 'Baby Hitler,' sloppy, government bastid..... Then everybody starts shaking their heads and clicking off even more pictures.... Kids go - Make him dance a little.... Old woman says - No, you're not gonna make him dance a little. You want him to have a heart attack?!....
Then she goes over to the sloppy, government bastid kneeling and shaking behind the Escalade and says - Wouldn't you be more comfortable if I got you like a blanket, or something?.... The guy nods and goes - Uh huh... Then he sniffs back some snot, 'cause it is getting chilly.... Some guy offers him a flask. He don't want to drink it at first. Guy goes - It's Scotch man! That ain't gonna hurt you!... So he takes a couple swallows...
Five minutes later the 'Baby Hitler' unnamed government guy is wrapped up in a Dora the Explorer polyester blanket (for when the grandbabies visit) on the sofa next to the old woman's sister, Helene, who nods and smiles a lot. They turn the sound down on HGTV so he can make a call on an old fashioned house phone, which he likes, 'cause it's harder to hack into and twelve minutes later a black vehicle coincidentally quite like a Cadillac Escalade pulls up, full of Men In Black who give everybody suspicious looks and bundle him off toward the White House. They keep the Dora the Explorer blanket, but give the old woman an envelope with twenty five hundred dollars in it, so she don't care. Helene says - Bye... and they leave. She wants to hear how much that beach house in South Carolina costs anyway.
The Men In Black try to get everybody off the street and back in their houses. But that doesn't mean anything. Pictures and video are already going viral all over the internet.
When they take the guy in the Dora The Explorer blanket into the White House (the private 'residence' upstairs), the president asks one question. He says - How did this happen?.... The advisor tells him about the man who came through the wall and swooped him up into the dark, night sky and carried him over the city and left him, naked, in the middle of that 'dangerous' neighborhood..... The president goes - You son of a bitch! What the f#ck are you talking about?.... The man in the child's blanket says - You go to hell, you shit for brains! I know what happened! I KNOW what the hell I'm talking about!.... One of the Men In Black clears his throat and says - Excuse me, Mister President, has anyone briefed you on the 'Night-Folk Protocol?' ..... Thirty minutes later he knew it all. He knew about the 'lead room.' He knew about the failed attempts to kill Lenin and later Hitler with our own, domesticated vampires and he knew how easy it was to 'turn' them. Such easily distracted, fickle creatures they are... but sometimes very effective.
Now Jonathon was planning to stay in the capital (or is it capitol?) for a bit, but vampires feel things through the ether (the matrix that supports everything). Franklin... it seemed to be coming from the Doctor. So he sublimated back through the starry sky and entered the townhouse twenty one hundred and sixty heartbeats before dawn. Edith was up (when DID she sleep?). And Doctor Franklin was there waiting.
Our vampire hero said - Franklin, why aren't you up at the 'Annex?'.... The artificially preserved (but not vampire) scientist-statesman sighed and said - I came back to show you this.... and he handed him a small tablet, showing the video of a poor, unfortunate woman thrashing about with Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease... 'Mad Cow' for humans.
Jonathon watched and read the captions at the bottom, as the scenes changed.
Franklin said - Prions... all because of a tiny scrap of genetic material that makes viruses seem complex. Yet they're the most infectious substance on Earth. And they don't reproduce. They recruit. When a disease causing prion presses itself against a benign specimen... and there are many benign specimens throughout nature, the innocent one is corrupted, becoming just like its attacker. Then it goes off. The cycle goes on exponentially. Infected human brains eventually turn to mush.
And it all comes from eating tainted meat? - asked the vampire. (he'd been watching the video.)
Franklin nodded.
It's very hard to come by. The Center For Infectious Disease has some... a few research labs... the government. - whispered Franklin....
They use it? - asked the vampire....
Of course - said Franklin.
For a weapon, I mean? - ads the vampire....
The scientist-statesman nodded again...
<more next time>
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