MOMMY, Where Do Baby Zombies Come From?.... 4./19/14

The nineteenth century was a golden age of Zombie-ism. They had other names for it then, at least in America and Canada. Called them 'ghouls' ... 'graveyard fiends'... ' really hungry, ugly scuzzy people.'... 'turd breaths.'... I'm talking about the less formal parts of the nineteenth century. But substance trumps labels... And when it comes to substance, zombies are full of it. But unlike vampires, they do poop on a more or less regular basis. In Tang Dynasty China, dried zombie spoor was a delicacy... No, wait, not a delicacy... an aphrodisiac. I believe they snorted it. The zombies of Quimoy and Maitzu made quite a bundle in the trade.

Oh, I can't do this. Sorry. Too tired.  Slept like four hours or less the last two nights. Literally micro-sleeping as we speak (snort... you say something?)......<~~~ see those dots? They represent fourteen minutes spent staring at this screen, listening to 'market reports' on some PBS station. Moss Hart was a poor kid from the Bronx who made it big on Broadway and married Kitty Carlisle too... And Saturday night is Brit-com night. Plus decoy carving is being passed on to a new generation.. 

OK, enough of that. Gotta go to sleep a bit earlier, 'cause Saturday Night Live is on tomorrow night and I'm hoping to see myself as host. They don't tell you ahead of time. You gotta tune in. That way it's like a big TV surprise party. 

Lorne Michaels is the Aaron Spelling of American Comedy. Nobody laughs unless he says so. And eleven and a half hours (at least) of weekly programming wafts out of his laboratories.... Not counting the reruns of 30 ROC, which I think are on endless loop...Oooh! and PARKS AND RECREATION, which is STILL in first run. 

><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ~~~~~~ see them fish?... They represent a catatonic interlude spent listening to a dirge-like violin solo on some non-Lorne TV.

I'm gonna drink diet decafe orange iced tea (right from the plastic jug) and go to sleep (yawn... stretch... sigh) 

I love the shore, but I hate saltwater taffy (although the rest of the family reveres it)

Good night. that's it.

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LITTLE ANNIE AND THE GIRL WHOSE MOTHER FEEDS HER SHITTY PIZZA .

They spotted each other one day in the park. Annie liked to sit on the benches and watch all the people. This wasn't a big park. It's a square.... Washington Square Park... That's what they call it. And even though Annie, with the help of some of the Piney people, managed to regain her mortality, she's still something of a witch, or a magic girl. 

The other girl, the one whose mother feeds her shitty pizza, likes the park too. She brings food for the pigeons, little bags of passed date 'Goldfish' she gets from a dollar store. Annie and her used to play when the vampires lived in Chestnut Hill. They sort of kind of knew  about the vampires and all. Shitty pizza mom had a thing for 'Papa' and he went over to give her a bath and groom her every once in a while. Vampires like to bathe and clean up mortal women. Jonathon did it to Silvia and Aura. Their sponge baths down in the tunnels were a big thing. Oh, they hit other notes on the scale too, but the cool trickles of ever so slightly rusty water tickled so. 

Shitty Pizza girl saw Annie and said - What you doin' outside? Ain't you scared a burning up?..... Annie went - Shows what a dope you are, you dope. I ain't no vampire no more.... Girl says - What'd you do, lose your license? My grandpop lost his license. They can do that to you, you know. Cops just grab 'em and run away. They run away real fast. You know how cops run. 'Specially them young, skinny ones. 

Annie goes - What you doin' 'round here? Your mom kick you out?.... Girl goes - Moms don't kick you out. Well, they do sometimes. But not when you're little. They need you to run in the kitchen and get 'em 'tateh chips when they watchin' tv. Or like maybe a piece a kleenex. You miss bein' a vampire?...... Annie goes - Nope. .... Girl goes - What you do with your coffin?...... I ain't never slept in no coffin - says Annie. I slept in a bed from Crate and Barrel. I know, 'cause Sarah told me...... Girl goes - Oh..... Then she tells Annie how she used to play that the boxes her Barbies came in were their coffins. But she used to wrap tin foil around them, 'cause the plastic windows in the front were see-through and in some religions they make you get buried naked. And it wouldn't be right to have see-through coffins, 'cause people might not listen to the minister when he tells everybody about you, plus old people would look too sickening and their grandkids would run out screaming.

Annie says - What kind a religion makes you get buried naked? Where they sendin' 'em... whore heaven?...... The girl whose mom feeds her shitty pizza said she didn't know. Then she sat down, reached into her bag, crumbled up some a the stale Goldfish and gave them to the birds..... Annie felt bad, 'cause the little starlings weren't gettin' much. She witched the pigeons so they'd go away... and they did. Then the starlings got a little more.

The girl told Annie she and her mom lived 'in town' now. They had a nice condominium 'right over there.' (just across from where they sat). And she didn't realize that Annie witched it so they would. 

Maybe Edith could take them to the movies, or like an all-you-can-eat Chinese style buffet? 

Maybe they could go down the shore and stay at Baylah's boyfriend's house? Annie liked the daytime.

After all... she was just a little girl... even though she still had powers...
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Oh, and also (they were so nice, I told them I'd pass it on) if you're in Philly and want phones, digital equipment, or some kind a phone/tablet/computer hook-up, go to the corporate owned AT&T Mobility store on Cottman Street and ask for Melissa and Kyle Durham. I went in there desperate for somebody to help me make sense out of my convoluted (my fault) antiquated phone  set up and they did... Took their time (with a tech dummy like me) got me hooked up right and saved me money too. Maybe they can help you too?

This isn't an ad or a product placement, just a 'thank you' for their help...