Monday, December 19, 2011

FLASH!!! BREAKING NEWS FROM SOURCES SCATTERED ABOUT THE COSMOS

This will have to be done quickly. News is coming in from all over. I can't keep it all straight in my head. Some comes from Circus Towne City, on Mars. Another stream seems to originate with Jonathon, deep within the Saturnian atmosphere. The third one has a lot of static. I think it's a kid telling dirty jokes on a 'ham' radio. Now his father's calling him a 'lousy, little bastid.' Now the kid is wailing.Wait, wait, wait...Mars is back. Scientists on the Red Planet detect an incremental, but steady rise in gravitational level. It's as if the center of the 4,000 mile wide orb suddenly accumulated more mass. And the barely there Mars magnetic field is regenerating. A team of explorers reconnoitering remote areas report spotting a six foot tall, vaguely human looking person exiting a narrow, crack-like cave opening. His uniform failed to match any currently in use among the refugee/colonists. A small 'breathing apparatus' mounted on a ring around his collar bone and rising up to a point approximately two inches in front of his mouth enabled 'him' to breathe the inadequate atmosphere. A hastily made video of the encounter is currently being evaluated by Dr. Franklin and his team, who've christened the mystery man 'Squanto' in honor of  the Pilgrims first 'Indian' contact.

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AND NOW FROM SATURN----- In all honesty, Jonathon expected to be completely crushed by the monstrous, coppery ball bearing. He and his companion, the Resurrected John Lennon, were forced to lie flat on their backs, as the huge metallic globe bore down upon them. The one thousand year old (though in his eighteen year old 'human' body) vampire believed destruction was imminent, since no 'life-eater' has ever survived such complete devastation, You can't build Mr. Peanut out of peanut butter, if you know what I mean. Yet the Resurrected John Lennon remained cool during the whole ordeal. At the point when the giant metal ball was about to literally pulverize their bones, he simply giggled with delight, raised  his head and kissed it.Approximately one six thousandth of a heartbeat later, it crackled out of existence and was instantaneously replaced by an elderly white woman bearing a striking resemblance to the Late Eleanor Roosevelt., though incongruently sporting a PENN STATE cheerleader's uniform, which did nothing for her, if you want to know the truth. The one-time First Lady said something to the former Beatle in a language unknown to our still unnerved vampire. Then she rolled off the long-haired Brit and laboriously rose to her feet, tooting out a few wet, slimy farts in the bargain. To Jonathon, they smelled like rancid meat balls. Our traveling duo followed the ancient cheerleader, as she led them into a thick, swirling, pale orange cloud bank rising five hundred miles above their heads. Remember, we're not in Kansas anymore {footnote - although the aliens do sometimes refer to our sun as 'Kansas,' since it is the only name ever given it in all of human culture via the 1939 film, The Wizard of Oz }. The unbelievably vast golden platter (upon which they were walking) disappeared as soon as they entered into the gaseous, orange malestrom ...........wilkravitz (our Earth-bound channeler, currently residing deep in the Jersey Pines) was unable to 'hear' anything after that, but is prepared to speculate that the First Lady knows secrets relating to altered conditions on Mars and perhaps on Earth, as well....... Please forgive me for jumping from first person to third person, but it's freezing here. And YES, we have begun cooking cock roaches, though no one has actually eaten any yet. A few packets of Old Bay crab seasoning discovered in a kitchen cabinet promises to make the meal somewhat palatable. Our 'cooks' notice the flesh swells up a bit when boiled attaining a white, opaque look, close to that of shrimp. And the carapaces take on a dark, red, translucent appearance. Mr. Edith thinks he knows where there might be some old potatoes.......Oh, and one more thing. There's an ominous low rumbling noise, like thunder, but deeper, from far up above the sky...

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Sunday, December 18, 2011

TANGERINE MOUNTAINS AND MARMALADE SKIES

It happened this way. Jonathon was walking through the maze-like corridors. The lights were turned down low. Almost everyone else, vampire and human, was asleep. Sunlight didn't matter much out here, even to the vampires. It was weak, producing illumination levels equal to those on Earth during the gloaming, that magical  time after sunset, yet before true nightfall. Look through a portfolio of Maxfield Parrish prints. You'll know what I mean.

He stopped at one of the quartz portholes, gazing out at a round shadow, caused by a Saturnian moon, as it drifted across the custard hued clouds. No human would have been able to detect any motion, but a vampire could. That's when he caught the reflection of someone standing behind him. He turned to face the Resurrected John Lennon. They stood like that for perhaps five heartbeats. Then he nodded in polite acknowledgement. The multi-Grammy Award winning performer and composer did the same.

Jonathon said - I thought you were still in Jerusalem?..... The Beatle said - I am...... Then he unfastened a button on his chambray work shirt, fished around in a nicely healed bullet wound and pulled out a tiny capsule. He offered it to Jonathon. The vampire said - Am I supposed to take this? I'm a life-eater. It probably won't effect me..... Let's try said the singer......Jonathon held the gelatinous orb up to a wall mounted fixture, examining the contents. Tiny, almost microscopic, human-like figures tumbled and swam through the viscous fluid...... The Brit put his hand on the vampire's shoulder and whispered - swallow it......And Jonathon did.

At first nothing happened. He still heard the low volume 'muzak' wafting out from the discreetly mounted fixtures. The score to Gypsy, I think it was. Then the platform seemed to evaporate, as they floated through space, two young gentleman adrift in a Peter Max universe. The 'muzak' was different now. I think it was Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds. After approximately twenty three heartbeats, our two travelers descended down to the cloud tops, piercing the thick, cloying mists, as they entered the Sovereign Principality of Saturn.

Colossal, gas filled, translucent, sausage organisms slowly rose up to meet them. They settled down upon the 'back' of one of the creatures (roughly four times the size of a great blue whale) and accompanied it down into  the unknown....The Resurrected John Lennon tapped Jonathon on the back and said - Told you it'd work. The vampire wanted to say something, but all that came out was one long, beautiful note. Yet the Beatle understood it and he smiled in agreement.

Jonathon knew they were about to meet some extremely important personage, so he straightened his clothes and tried to look composed. The Beatle leaned close and whispered in his ear - We gave you the moon. And our reverent life-eater was not quite sure what he meant, as their steed alighted on a vast golden platter, vanishing down into the surface, until they were quite alone. Then, from far off in the distance came the sound of a huge ball-bearing rolling toward them. How large was it? Oh, I don't know. Perhaps as tall as the Chrysler Building. but it stopped just prior to crushing them. Jonathon reached up and touched the warm, coppery surface. He could see his own troubled reflection.  But the Resurrected John Lennon merely stood there playing air guitar.

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Saturday, December 17, 2011

'NIGHT' STROLLS IN THE ETERNAL DARKNESS OF THE HOLY CITY

Lailah began to remember, or perhaps it is more accurate to say she began to understand. True, she described some of the basic imagery to her father, but that was just talk. She was glad to be safe and home in her own bed. Few vampirinas have that. And even though the world, or some of the people in it, now acknowledge their presence, that's only a veneer. Doesn't go much deeper than urbane liberals in big cities and rebellious young people everywhere else. The rest of them, especially now that life is so rotten, would really enjoy a good auto-da-fe. But what about the vampires fighting on the front lines? - you ask. Well, what about them? The military types work with them because they need help and the life-eaters have certain useful talents. If the research and development guys could figure out how to synthesize those 'magical' abilities, new friends would be soon forgotten.

The Chevalier Jean Michel takes Lailah out walking. The City of Jerusalem is oddly peaceful now. Actually, it was never exceptionally violent. The Sacred Mist enveloping the place took care of that. But denominational resentments simmered just below the surface. Each group fantasized about a world without the 'other.'  The feeling laid low in some, but it was still there.

Every street corner had an oil drum and every drum had a fire. Used to call them 'bum' fires in the U.S.. But they weren't the only ones who gathered 'round the warmth. Laborers and guys who worked outside used them too.  They made winter bearable. Now it was winter everywhere. Soon, if things went on like this, it would be worse than winter. But people were friendly. Everybody helped each other. It's like they 'got it' all of a sudden. I guess a good confrontation with death-dealing, indifferent, god-like aliens can do that. But this, after all, is Jerusalem. In other places they were hacking each other with rusty shovels.

Lailah carried a little flashlight. So did her French, vampirino companion. It's not that they needed them so much. Vampires have natural night vision. But it made them less obvious. And you never know what people might do. Why advertise for trouble? She told her father she wasn't 'culling' now, just a little drink here and there. Nothing fatal. Everyone survived. But that was a lie. It's strange. Even though they could not see the moon, they still felt it. Every month came the 'need.' And seventeen hours ago, she felt it. They found a man looting sacred objects. Some were from a synagogue. A few were from a church. Silver goblets used for ritual libations. God knows where he thought he'd sell them. They descended on him in a dark chapel. I don't know who he thought they were. Like I say, vampires were 'around,' but most people didn't 'see' them. Kind of like illegal (human) aliens used to be in the U.S. and France. Was there a vision? Did they see him in a dream? No. But he was bad and they were hungry, whether for the blood, or the life, I can't say. I used to think I understood them. It's me. It's Zebulon, in case you want to know. Only now, I'm not so sure. The guy tried to fight them off.... You know how futile that is? He threw his satchel down on the slate pavers and tried to scramble away in the darkness. But Jean Michel grabbed his ankle and lifted him up, as Lailah cradled his head and tore into the neck. The aristocratic, thousand year old Gallic warrior let her have the lion's share, making due with a few choice bites from other vulnerable areas.When they were done, illumination from the pale, blue flame , the spontaneous combustion that consumes all vampire victims, lit up the little holy place. They picked up goblets, returning them to the satchel. Maybe her father would know what to do with them.

Afterward they talked. She told him the entities did not know how old they were, or how they came to be so omnipotent. They just drifted through the galaxies 'rearranging things.' She asked what they were truly like and she felt the god-like alien version of wry laughter. Corporal 'bodies' were conjured as needed, witness the threatening organisms on Europa. The well meaning manta ray people are so childlike...intelligent, but viscerally simple. They might very well have understood the truth, but why complicate matters? So scaly 'paladins,' not so different than Jean Michel's Crusader henchmen, moved among them. Enough said. On to the next question. What does the 'world' feel like to them? she asked. The answer surprised and troubled her, for they told her she already knew that. It feels just as the world feels to a vampire as he sublimates, however they exist in a permanent state of sublimation. And when she shared this with Jean Michel, he nodded, for he understood it too.....

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Friday, December 16, 2011

HOW THE HELL DO YOU SPELL MAY-O-NAZE, ANYWAY?

It's cold in the Pine Barrens, truly cold. The snow began to come down late last night. Look, I might as well say twenty hours ago. The sky never changes. It's always dark. Some people claim to see a slight greenish tinge during what used to be the daylight hours. But that's just wishful thinking. And  you know how winter night- clouds used to reflect artificial ground light? Remember when they looked bright and crisp and vivid, like titanium white brush strokes upon a blue-black canvas? I wish we had them back. I miss them. Snow falls out of the darkness now. You barely see it on the ground. That's how dark it is.

They say mole people have been coming up out of the old subway tunnels. Their eyes are used to the dark. Some people use them as guides. Whether free, or slave, I don't know. Stuff like that goes on in the cities and we only get second hand information out here. A voice I heard in the dark once (turned out to be a chemist) said he can make luminescent mixtures and seal them in old mayonaisse jars. Baylah took him to an abandoned 7-Eleven. He found lots of jars there. Works in empty plastic Coke bottles too. Only thing, the mixture eventually eats through the petroleum based 'shell' and leaves nasty acid burns. You don't want to sit at a campfire with one a those things resting in your lap. But he's trying to come up with a sticky-gooey version people can carry around on twigs, something that don't burn. Baylah calls him 'the professor.' He calls her 'Marianne.' Actually, she's more like a ginger, but that's what he calls her.

Edith says she's pickin' up something from folks on the outside. Beyond the Sky-Sea she means. This 'morning' she got a vision from Mars. The Sky-Sea appears to be pulsating. Not a lot. Just a little, like the way bald heads do in cartoons when somebody smacks 'em with a club. And the whales are singin' somethin' different now. She heard that too. We're at least fifteen miles from the ocean, so I guess her ears get visions too.

Blackie swiped the little, original Great Armonica from The Franklin House. Not the cool place Doctor Franklin used to live in underneath the Navy Yard. Not the pimped-up crib he had at The Anti-Enchantment-Bureau. This joint is a museum the city built over the ruins of his house. They got the original armonica (bout as big as a small electric keyboard with legs) set up in a display case down the basement. Only they don't got it no more. Blackie does and he's comin' this way. Edith says. She knows. And Baylah believes her too. I do not know what we're gonna be able to do with that thing. The big ones didn't work. Remember that fiasco outside Jerusalem? And it gives me the cock-eyed shivers too. Sounds noise like a Tesla Coil. Makes me feel like I gotta pee every time I hear it.

They say some guys who work for what used to be the government got night vision goggles. A few other folks got 'em too, mostly looted ones from places like Brookstones or nice, little gun shops. The professor tryin' to make some outta junk he got from that 7-Eleven, but so far, they more like the X-ray specs you buy from the back a comic books.

Some people 'round here want a go out and 'kill' Johnny and Petunia.'  Shouldn't be too hard. She still blind and he hidin' in a dumpster back a old tampon factory. Guess he been burning 'em for light. It is illegal to sell them as individual units, so I know he ain't doin' that.

I miss Jonathon. Wonder what he's doin' now? Even Annie misses him in her own way. We know she goes roamin' around bitin' folkses toes off. Not a whole set. Just one or two to a customer. I mean like she IS tryin' to cut down. Nobody does nothin' to stop her. Life is so shitful now they think 'what the hell,' let her have her fun.

Just don't fall asleep without no socks on...

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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

LIKE KINDERGARTEN COP, BUT WIT' VAMPIRE BABIES

The cherubs peeked out from behind a small, knuckle of rock. They watched Petunia take little tastes of the sad, helpless pin head boy. Actually, if you looked at him real fast, you might not even notice. I mean his face was goofy, but not that goofy and his cranium wouldn't take no blue ribbon at the four aitch or nothin', but it wasn't that far off the mark. Folks in the Pines just called him 'Pin Head,' 'cause his brains were a little slippery. That's all. Nothin' seemed to stick. But he was a good kid and he did not deserve any of this crap.

Now cherubs are a soft hearted lot. Comes from losin' their mamas so young. And they could not abide the 'bad touch' attentions of that sloppy, gluttonous, blood-whore, so they screwed up they little selves, commenced to screechin' some high-pitched baby wails and flew out at the Petunia bitch like hell-in-a-layette-set. You know how they does things with them little tongues? The tips are keen and diamond sharp. Has to be since they ain't got no teeth. Most times they just goes tickle-tickle on a neck or like the top part of a tittie, take a little sip and that's it. Sleepin' folks don't even know they was bit. Nobody dies, 'cause that ain't the way they do business. I think God wants 'em here to spread understanding, 'cause a little bit of each individual's pain and suffering gets passed onto the next one what gets bit. Still, they can be mighty defensive when some bastid gets they talcum up. And they were real set on hurtin' that vampire tramp real bad.

I want you to know this all went  down in like two heartbeats. Each cherub takes an eye. Zooms in wit' them little razor tongues wiggling like crazy jitterbugs and bores right in. She start screamin' and battin' 'em away. They fly off a few yards and come right back. Blood drippin' down her crumby face. She cursin'. She cryin'. Johnny, her vampirino 'fancy man' wakes hisself up from a drooly-mouthed stupor (you see, light from candles or like little Dora the Explorer battery powered lamps tends to hypnotize the man) lunges for his big. ole shotgun and prepares to pump off a round. Pin Head Mel don't do nothin'. He just lookin' and laughin' and clappin', 'cause he like a good show and this better than his most precious favorite, Jerry Springer. That dumb, little son-a-bitch near peed hisself.

But Johnny can't do nothin' with that ole gun. You know most vampires can't finesse no firearm worth shit. And I do not know why that's so, but it just is. So next thing, he gets real mad and starts swingin' it 'round like a baseball bat, or something. Now he aimin' for them cute, little vampire babies, but they fast, so BAM! Petunia takes a hit., right on the least ugliest side a her head. He tries again, only them flyin' babies go zippin' 'round like a couple regular kamikazes. It the Battle a Midway all over again. Pin Head laughin' and laughin'. Petunia wrigglin' down in the dirt, cryin' 'My eyes! My eyes! That's when them babies take off after the man, 'cause she gonna be blind for 'bout a million heartbeats 'fore her eyes grow back. And when they do, it gonna burn and itch like hell. So he get  up and go runnin' down some side tunnel like Curly (you know, from The  Three Stooges?) wit' a gorilla after him. Babies figure that mus be a fast way out. So they rouse the moron. You know, kick him in the face a few times, like to get his attention. First he look angry. No, more sad like he 'bout to cry. Then he smiles, 'cause they keep flyin' at him and bouncin' back like it a game a tag. Morons like games. You know how he is with Yahtzee?

Forty one heartbeats later, they got him outta that mine and led  him back home. Hardly tripped in the dark, or nothin', 'cept for that semi-rotten, ole mafia body. But you know you gonna find them in The Pines.They like the national flower or somethin'. They planted everywhere.

Folks is so happy to see him, they had a Yahtzee party went on for like six hours.

Ain't nobody even noticed when it begin to snow....

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LET THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN, IN THE SKY, LORD, IN THE SKY

Lailah opened her eyes. She was home. She was back in her room. The cozy, tiny rectory looked the same, rough, old plaster walls (some actually made from stone) thick, antiques pieces warmed by generations of human touch. A candle sputtered upon a small night stand. Was it day? Was it night? Did it matter? She heard voices out in the little plaza, just people, just normal Jerusalemites trying to survive. People were eating mushrooms now. Root vegetables were almost gone, though some said hidden stores existed in rediscovered underground cisterns. But then the people hurried on and all was quiet.

For a moment she thought it all a dream. She was herself. She was unchanged, just an ever so slightly rebellious young girl. But then she sensed it. And then she knew. Vampires occasionally 'hover' in their sleep. It's a type of minor levitation, causing life-eaters to rise up a bit and float perhaps a tenth of a cubit above the sheets. So there she was, suspended maybe two inches up from her cot. Then the magic evaporated and she fell back down. She burrowed under the blankets and curled up on her side, staring into the candlelight.

Far out among strange worlds, in the region of gaseous giants, Sarah stood by a thick, quartz window gazing at the immensity of Saturn. Tiny cyclonic storms, each no bigger than the Earth danced across the creamy, golden 'surface.' She watched as a baby asteroid zoomed down, punching it's way through the highest cloud tops, only to disintegrate in a small, violent explosion. But that was Saturn. On Earth, such an event would be Judgement Day.

They made a few other half-hearted forays out to the aliens. But what could they do? They were just like that asteroid. It was just like punching clouds. The people from the Anti-Enchantment-Bureau (odd, that they still used that name) hoped to try something. They still wanted to attempt a kind of tandem attack mixing vampire sublimators with certain frequencies from the Great Armonica. But privately, Sarah and the others didn't think it would work. Maybe they could chip away at the entities, in perhaps about five hundred years. Jonathon didn't think they could even do that much.

People thought about family back on Earth. Once in a while a signal made it through, so they knew it was bad. But the aliens hadn't caused any more fatalities...at least not through any distinct, violent episodes. A few investigators were beginning to suspect such things may have been 'accidents' or acceptable collateral damage. Maybe humans couldn't understand the big picture? Maybe our limited senses just perceived things that way? Who could tell? A few of the telepaths among them (yes, they brought them out here too) had 'dreams.' They saw swirling visions...dancing embers and silvery mists. They saw the birth of our star system. And the entities were there even then....... Imagine, a coherent intelligence enduring for more than five billion years. The reality of it troubled some, though others were deeply moved and inspired. A young vampire from Papua New Guinea said that new stars form constantly and we will be 'old ones' to organisms yet unformed.

But still...these aliens must have been ancient even then........

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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

YUM YUM EAT 'EM UP

So there was two of 'em. Ugly noxious life-eaters. Them what got buried with the .night kiss. and had to dig their way out. That's what does it to 'em. Scrambles the brains a bit. Makes 'em all looney. One used to be a woman. The other kind a favors a man, only now you'd never taken 'em for such. Wild animals is what they is. Look at the eyes, all glassy and hot. It's the fresh blood, the drink they got from them two bald headed Jehovah's Witnesses what does it. Disgustin'. Got hair like unrepentant hags. Grandmama Addams had better. Oh, and you can tell a noxious, even when they quiet, even when they sit still and give you that slimy toothy grin. Dried blood caked in the corners of their mouths. Look at the tongues scraping it up. Must be like bacon bites to them.

I think the almost female bitch is winnin'. She wavin' those cards 'round like a drugged up swami or something. He gonna kill her one a these nights, or do whatever it is they do instead a killin'. Take a peek at the crud they got under those nails... and jammed in them wrinkly knuckles too. No noble vampire would ever go 'round like that. Probably sleeps in coffins, they does, or did when they had 'em.She got a taste for the kiddies. He likes a good, hot rum-pot, don't care snot what the plumbing's like.Been foulin' up Creation for two hundred years, they are. Dripped down from somewhere's up north when the trouble started.. Don't know what names they was born with. She goes by Petunia. He answers to Johnny. Bet they was planted in them rags. I sees bugs dancin' up and down them creases...little brown, shiny ones, politely scroungin' for snacks. Maybe they keeps 'em for pets?

Gave the pin head boy a coloring book, plus a little four-pack a crayons they filched from the pocket a their last entree. Used to be a waitress in an Applebee's, she was. Back before the dark time. Brought 'em home for her little boy, a sweet, chubby tot with warm brown curls. Kind you could just eat right up....which they  did, with gusto and relish.

That's why the cherubs hates 'em so much. Ain't been flying 'round lately. Mostly stays close to the cabin. Pathetic lot they are. Remembers the cradle. Remembers the soft, warm swaddling. The devoted mama. The pleased as punch papa. And the red eyed night fiends what did it to them. So they flies out, tastin' the air like sad spaniel puppies.

One a them sees the opening. Picks up a bit a grave stench too. Gurgles something to the other. Three heartbeats later they tumble down (cherubs can be sloppy fliers at times) and silently toddle into the old mine. Then they get down on all fours and begin to crawl.....two vampire cuties bundled up in them cute, little outfits Edith and Baylah knit for 'em.

Petunia pulls her flabby self up off the stool and waddles over to the pin head. Oh, he's real scared. You can see it. But he pretends not to notice. Acts like he's concentrating on what color Astro should be. She smacks her ass down next to him and shifts it around tryin' to find a comfy spot on all them bones. He inches over toward a lumpy wall. She does too. He exhales and shudders. Might a peed a little too, but just a little. She smiles and strokes his pin head hair. Must a learned her act from a spider, 'cause she does it so good. Then she lifts up his leg and hefts it, like she's tryin' to estimate how many pounds it is. He just lowers his head the way little boys do,  resting his chin upon his chest. The virago vampire woman hums a little ditty, as she rolls up the corduroy pant leg, exposing the helpless, white flesh. Then she leans down and kisses it.

Pin Head Mel begins to cry...not a lot....not so you could hear ....but a few salty tears run down his cheeks, dripping onto his carefully laundered, long sleeved cotton tee-shirt. His mama loves him and even in these trying times, she wants him to look nice.

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