B.E. Scully: Animal Undertaking

B.E. Scully: Animal Undertaking: From the first mysterious beginnings of life on our planet to the timeless repetitions of death and rebirth, the natural cycles of decay hav...psst! come look at this. It's a good one. Just right for chill nights under clear, OCTOBER skies... (and then wander 'round all we got on RSS at http://vampirewonderland.blogspot.com ...)

LET THE VAMPIRINO REVELS BEGIN!

Once every twelve years 'El Mundo Vampirido' celebrates. I think the interval has something to do with The Zodiac. Perhaps Tomas will enlighten us, if he feels so inclined. True, the upcoming festivities conflicts with his ancestral faith, as it does with the beliefs of many night-folk. But a good party is a good party. Now, at this time, many Philadelphia life-eaters are freshly made. Sarah, Annie, Conrad, Leo... they're all new. None were vampirino twelve years ago, so attending the upcoming assembly will be very impressive. 

Celebrations are held world wide. Italy's Lake Region positively crackles with merriment and conspicuous consumption. Villas let for unbelievable sums. And I hear a coterie of elferino-vampirino from Los Angeles are bargaining for George Clooney's place, but nothing is definite yet.

Most food comes in from the former Soviet Union. They empty out the prisons. Some say the mental hospitals too. A few chaste night-folk eschew such indulgence, but most crave release. After all, how much harm can it cause? One week (well, ten days, actually) out of six hundred and twenty four? Please.

Tomas looks forward to reconnecting with old friends. There's his old crowd from Charles the Second's time. And assorted fanged, Euro types from all over. Masters of The Dance rehearse ancient routines. The gavote, the tarantella, assorted chardash, stately, Roman promenades, you'll see them all. 

Oh, and the entertainment they bring in! Elvis played there twice. Come on, you did not think he was dead, did you? Noel Coward tickles the ivories. Bessie Smith belts out the blues. And Glen Miller's still got it. Look, there are others I could name, but enough enemies, I got. So you're just gonna have to wait.

Novices come into the fold then too. Attractive wannabes with potential. Maybe they're running from something or someone. Maybe they're sick. Or maybe they're just bored and ready for something new. They pay a lot of money too, sometimes more than a hundred million dollars US. If funds present a problem, well heeled members kick in. Got to keep the party going, if you know what I mean. 

And then another thing.... something strange happens near the end of the revels. The 'Surrendering.' Certain vampires volunteer to go into the light. They even have a prayer ---- Look for me in the knowing eyes of a child. I have been among the dead too long...... Many night-folk believe in reincarnation, you know. Some bring a 'soul bearer,' a young fertile female (human, of course) ceremoniously impregnated at the instant of their immolation and hopefully their future mommy.

Other 'exotics' turn up too. there's always a few witches, disembodied spirits, lucid wanderers (I feel so sorry for them) and the like. Merfolk show up too. some palaces have heated, indoor pools (saltwater, naturally). 

There's supposed to be old films, real grainy stuff from the silent days, showing a Revel from the nineteen twenties. Some of the bastards you'll see here are in it. But I don't know where it is, or who has a copy. A few 'society' vampirina doyennes know, but they like to keep it within their own, little clique. 

We couldn't give you a regular episode tonight. Annie's still settling in. The one they call 'Papa' is hovering around. Edith is washing and cooking. You know she eats. wilkravitz eats. Annie tastes stuff. She throws up later, but she eats it. Baylah's in the den mixing drinks. Alcohol they can tolerate. That they love, actually.

Look, if you know your way around  the internet, see which top drawer, carriage trade hotels fill up in a few weeks. You'll figure out where it is. See who's renting high end properties. It's not hard to discover that. 

But without a connection, don't even think of crashing, unless you want a spot on the buffet table.

Certain pivotal mortals DO show up, however. They have a 'think tank.' Pow-wow with night-folk and everything. Who better to confer with? Vampires know it all, right?

You better say 'right.'

*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*

please hit the SHARE BAR. please leave a COMMENT. thank you & good night...

EMBALMED ALIVE

A few weeks ago, a careless hunter killed a little Piney girl. He shot her with steel tipped arrows. Thought she was possessed, or something, 'cause he saw her levitatin' in the moonlight. Careless hunter don't know much 'bout Piney ways.

Took a little bit, but they ketched him and threw him down a naturally formed rocky tunnel (a little, narrow, dried up ancient lava chute, actually) to a dark, noxious quagmire under where the Talk-To-God Man lives.

Oh, he scream a lot at the beginning. Try to get out, but he can't. Hole open up high in the wall a the chamber where he is. No way he gonna get to it. So he cry and he pray and he scream. 

Ain't no where to lay but the mud. Whole place full a mud. Now most time it warm in there. Think they got a little hot spring runnin' 'round down below. But every so often things change. Earth must shift and the spring jus' run off somewheres else. Mud gettin' clammy now. Hunter guy gettin colder. 

Oh, he not goin' hungry. Mud bugs takes care a that. They little bit like rolly-poly... little bit like shrimp and little bit like somethin' else... bed bug, I think. But he is startin' to shiver some. 

Lays there all balled up just like a unborn baby, 'cept tighter, like a cannon ball. Talk-To-God Man unstuff the hole when he want a hear him... when he wanna know if he still breathin'. He throw incense down. Say some prayer, or jus' listen. Talk-To-God Man like a do that late at night, 'specially when the ghosts is busy... 'specially when he get lonely. He say - You know I can't haul you out. Ain't no way to do it. You know I can't warm it up none. Ain't no way a do that either. Talk-To-God Man can smell the cold clamminess. 

Careless hunter guy listen. He float on the chill, wet crap and he listen. Don't even care if them mud-bugs crawl on him. He just lay there, eyes open and listen. Talk-To-God Man tell stories, mostly 'bout his own life, or shit what happens to other folks he knows. It is strange to think that right dead in the middle of Philadelphia, Atlantic City and New York City they got a place like this..... but they do.

It don't seem like that hunter guy gone live long. Mud too cold now. 'Sides, all that fresh water (not clean, just not briny) doin' stuff to him. It leechin' salts all outta his body. An' mud-bugs ain't to salty.

Ever see dead bastids brung up from them peat bogs? Look like somebody make a pocketbook shaped like dead hobo. All wet leather-like. All brown and shiny? Well, that what happenin' to him.

Maybe in thousand year or so folks gonna find him. They say - Hot damn! Look how good he look..... 'Cept nobody want him for no son-in-law..... They wash him 'round a little and stick him in a case... a glass case. Then they put him a dead shit zoo. I think it called a museum. Folks pays money. Folks gets  to see him. You know what they say? Everybody get famous sometime.

So if you ever poke your nose in the Pines, don't make nobody mad at you, or you might wind up famous a thousand year from now too.

I not tryin' a scare you. I jus' tellin' you how it is.

Gone be frost tonight. Gone be cold. Best wrap youself in a good blanket. Imagine what it like in the mud.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

please hit the SHARE BAR and do somethin' wit' it. please tap out a COMMENT or somethin'. now go to sleep... 

FLAYED ALIVE...IF YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS... PHILADELPHIA AFTER DARK HAS A LOT OF TRICKS

There was a resonance, a vibration. Edith said the granite counters in the kitchen made a noise. Tomas didn't hear it. Oh, he did feel something, but he did not hear that. Still, it was possible. The huge crystalline discs of Doctor Franklin's Great Armonica made noise... more than noise... They made 'music.' 

Leo and Conrad felt it. It chased them down stairs. Leo's little collection of detailed, metal cars started rolling around on the shelf. He thought it was that ghost kid from the basement. But the ghost kid from the basement swore it wasn't his fault and told him to go to hell. Conrad laughed. He's a real asshole vampire. Likes to see other folks get in arguments. So the ghost kid kicked him in the balls and ran away. He can do that, you know, 'cause he's like a poltergeist. Conrad grabbed his goodie-bag and started moaning. Then everything trembled again. That's when they ran.

Sarah was getting dressed. She liked sleeping downstairs in the 'crypt.' The rose petals made it smell so nice. Black slacks. Black top, usually like a plain, round neck, pull over thing. Long sleeves... You know. It's not that she made a special effort to appear Morticia-like (remember that girl?), but it just seemed so right. It just seemed so practical. Tomas, as you know affected a similar look. She brushed her dark auburn hair, applied a bit of makeup and went upstairs.

Baylah called from her place. She felt it too. Most of the mortals downstairs in the piano bar never felt a thing. The fact that they're drunk might have had something to do with it. But I don't know. 

Mister Never-You-Mind is off tonight. Think he went to the movies. He does that sometimes, especially around the old Celtic New Year. You know, what junky, flea-bitten costume stores call 'Halloween.' He likes the scary  ones...ghosts...zombies..... corps monsters.... He likes them all. So now you got me for a change. Now you got Zebulon. 

Deep down they all know Papa's coming back. He likes making entrances. Remember how he showed up two years ago?... The snow... The quiet... The dark night... The big house in Chestnut Hill. Glengary Road, I think. See? Zebulon remembers. 

They felt it at the derelict furrier's too. You could see little ripples playing out across the blood. Old, plastic, Ronald McDonald, beach bucket was all filled up now. Annie was almost bled dry. But that don't kill a vampire. They got other fluids squishing around inside them... same as people. Blood's just the most favorite.

Bullet holes in her head all healed up. That mafia, pediatrician did a good job. How could he do otherwise? Vampires are fast healers. She wasn't sitting up or talking yet. Only listening. 

Dark, cloudy, 'momma' thing still whispering. Making death seem like a holiday.... Teasing her.... Calling her. Said they'd be together soon. Mafia princlings out in the front room (the old salon, showroom) coming for the bucket. Gonna sell the blood to shot-up gangster fellas. Gonna burn Annie up... One crispy, little vampirina gonna go 'guhk.' (means head gonna flop and she gonna die).

But Papa's coming. All the rats (not too many around here, but some) run up in the trees. Cats run up too, but nobody eating anybody else. They all just sit. They all Just look.

Mafia boys start toting papers into the cold room, old newsprint, boxes anything. Alright, some of it's cardboard, but you know what I mean. Then they dowse it all with acceleratant, like what people squirt on charcoal rocks to make them go BOOM! But before they can pick up the bucket...before they can light the place up, it happens.

A force, a strong concussive wave expands through the space. Combustible material flies all over. Papa makes his entrance. Two spirit hands hoist the mafia princes up off the floor by their necks, as a second wave explodes the clothes from their bodies. Tiny shreds of fabric dance through the air.

The 'momma' thing has prudently vanished. Annie just lays there, but here eyes seem to focus. She sees. She knows.

Then one rather deep cut opens up at the base of the neck on each quivering bad boys. They gasp in pain and agony, as the almost surgical incisions run down their spines before parting to trace twin paths along their ass cheeks and down each leg. Smaller slices up along the scalp and down each arm complete the procedure.  After that, the top portion of the cut, up by their necks, begins to peel apart and open, as their hides roll off from the oozing, bloody, flesh below. The faces come off like masks. Do they scream? Of course. But Papa's power contains all manner of frequencies, so out beyond, on the street silence reigns.

A quickened Annie claps her hands , as she jumps from the table and capers with delight. Three heartbeats later, the happy vampirina gleefully licks up all the blood dripping from her former captives, before biting into the flesh to claim whatever's left.

After she's done, Papa lifts her up and bears her out, just as the flames begin to rise. Someone will collect insurance money after all....

And back at the townhouse, Edith smiles and whispers - Better go wash that little bastid's sheets while I still got time...

//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\

please excuse the late posting. gremlins did something to my net hook up. that company stinks. ask me and I'll tell you. please use the SHARE BAR. please leave a COMMENT. and once again, sorry for the thirteen hour delay. But this is a good one, so kindly tell your friends. Posting time's more convenient too...

WITH NEBULOUS VAMPIRE SPIRITS, SIZE DOESN'T MATTER

He slumbered in a bed contrived of stardust. And floated through an ocean made from light. Papa enjoyed his nebulous form. He was all things and nothing...a dream about to happen...a person yet to be.

And he heard things. Songs from other worlds... the music of the spheres.... old prayers.... new curses. Life is not rare. Humanity occupies but one isle in an immensity more vast than forever. 

But the Great Tide carried him to Earth. That was his place. That was his home. She who calls herself Madam Shang tells other stories now to other 'friends' in other places. 

Look, he passes through a tenuous shimmering orb. Men call it The Ort Cloud. It gift wraps our celestial allotment, though sometimes bits of sequins rain in to threaten us. 

Next comes The Keiper Belt, a barrier of sorts..... The walls to mankind's nursery. Kansas shines bright. For that is the name of our Star. Such has been known in these parts since The Prophet called Frank L. Baum first penned them nine dozen years ago. And if you are ignorant of him, oh best beloveds, perhaps you recall a gossamer, celluloid shadow dance with songs?..... 'And Kansas, she said, was the name of The Star. And Kansas, she said, was the name of The Star.

Our sister orbs bow to greet him. He whispers secrets to the ray-like souls gliding through the Europan Seas. 

Now Earth (the only sister <though some bear mannish titles> named for an Egyptian godling) begins to call. And he spins ever closer to her surface. Merfolk sing his name. 

The twenty eight thousand year old being, known as 'Papa' is home..... And Annie remembers..... 

The dark 'mamma-thing' cloud wrapped 'round her shudders and the mafia-princes asleep on the old, pink, velvet sofa shudder too. 

Edith feels it, so does Tomas. Papa is back. And even though he may forgo his corporal form for a while, he is here..... And in a sense.....

The Vampire Holidays have arrived...

wilkravitz (he who channels this) stops. He was surfing through a new site, a bright, incansecent, media powerhouse called QueLoQuePasa.com , a 'star maker.' And everybody truly  wants to shine....

Shhhh... Papa's here....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

please hit the SHARE BAR. please create a COMMENT. your own link is very welcome. sleep peaceful and good night.

CLOSING IN ON A SAD, LITTLE, BASTID, VAMPIRE GAL

Sarah and Tomas walked the streets. Sometimes they detected signs. Aromas and auras lingered on her trail. They felt heat...not much, but enough. It rose up from the sidewalk, marking random footfalls. But Annie's solitary jaunts were anything but linear. She wandered. She stared. She tasted. Sometimes the little bitch sat in a bus shelter for hours, watching a street corner and waiting for a perfect victim. Annie tried to be good. She heard what Tomas said, but she just didn't listen. 

One night she told Baylah (our Beyonce-esque, piano bar owner) she had a plan...... Go into a late night, fast food joint. Turn the biggest, dumb, goof they had.... Go to another late night, fast food joint and do the same.... Keep it up til there was like a hundred of them. Of course they'd need a place to sleep. She figured the mole people would help out with that. Lot a room in those deep, dark tunnels. After like a training period, she'd play Rosa Luxemburg and march 'em off to conquer the world, or at least a snug, little chunk of it. Said she got the idea from Freebie and The Brain.... whatever that is.

The two elferino-vampirinos went out looking too. Roland and Albion had a list. The caretaker's wife tore it from a phone book back at the cottage, deep withing the tombstones of Laurel Hill. Every furrier in the city was on it. They'd flit... They'd flit through the inky sky from point to point.... quickly descend to the sidewalk and investigate. Elfin noses are keen. If the vampirina known as Annie was inside they'd smell her. Even among all the dead, dressed mammal skins, they'd smell her.

Unfortunately, none of them knew this furrier's was extent. It was dead. It was but a memory. Yet the cold-room, prison lived on. And that's where she was... semiconscious, sprawled on a table, wrapped in two or three moth-eaten mink stoles and mumbling to some shadowy, 'momma' thing.

A thin, rubber tube fed blood, drawn from her neck, down into a small, plastic, beach pail on the floor. I think it was a Ronald McDonald beach pail. Her two captors, the pumped-up mafia princes, sat in the front room on an old, curving, pink, velvet sofa. That room was the 'salon.' It's where they showed the coats. The curtains were drawn and a little, thirteen inch Daewoo TV hooked up to some CVS converter brought in a few fuzzy channels of disgustingly free programming. Soon the pail would be filled.... And they would not need her anymore. Initially they wanted to keep her and milk her periodically. Shot-up bastids would pay plenty for genuine, miracle vampire blood. Still, that might prove too complicated, 'cause they didn't know what little vampirinas could actually do. Shakin' down restaurants was easier. It's what they knew. It's what they liked. They'd go back to it.

Already had a plan. Gonna burn her up. Fill the old, cold storage room with newspapers, sprinkle liberally with charcoal grill fire-makin' stuff. Light it up. Run out. Lock the door (it was like a big, nineteen fifties refrigerator door. all chrome and fancy). Loose the little bastid and collect some insurance money. Investigator don't look too hard at mafia 'lightning.' He know which way the wind blow. 'Sides, once they get the check.... he gone get half. 

Shadow 'momma' thing like that. She (it?) lickin' Annie's face, pattin' her arm..... tellin' her how great bein' all dead gonna be.... But she cold....And she dark..... Not night dark..... forever dark...... And Annie might not like that.

Hope they find her. Sarah do feel somethin'... but she doan know.

Edith home cryin'.... Ate up all her pumpkin pie. She go in the livin' room an' sit down. Gone watch television. But when she turn it on, she doan see no HGTV. She see a face. She see a gray face. It old. It dead. It talk. Say somethin' Hungarian, I think. I once heard Zsa Zsa Gabor talk that talk in a hotel on Bourbon Street.... so I know.

: ) : ( : ) : ( : ) : ( : ) : ( : ) : ( : ) : ( : ) : ( : )

please hit the SHARE BAR. please leave a COMMENT. that's all. PC actin' up.

THE VAMPIRES SEARCH FOR ANNIE.. HER 'MOTHER' TELLS HER STUFF, SOME TIME WITH THE ELFERINO-VAMPIRINOS

They didn't know where she was. Tomas was worried. Sarah, who played 'Wendy' to Annie's 'lost girl' was worried too. Even Edith was worried. She called from The Pines. She knew. She felt it. Mister Edith drove her back. He was ready to get rid of her for a while anyway. The best thing that ever happened to him was when she hooked up with the vampires. But she made him stop at a WalMart along the way, so she could pick up some 'nice' fleece stuff for the winter. You know, those granny sweat shirts with the kitty kat appliques on them? Got some suede, ankle, 'lady' boots too. Tomas and the others are more than willing to cover her expenses, but Jersey Pine folks are proud. Besides, Mister Edith and his daddy made quite a good living from some discrete, little stills they operated back where the woods were really thick. You know them Jersey Devils are good workers. He use 'em a carry messages back and forth to customers. They doan make much noise wit' them wings. 

Them 'elf' vampires helped out too. Not wit' the moonshine. Wit' findin' Annie, I mean. 'Elferino-Vampirinos' they calls 'em. For the girls, all you gotta do is change them 'O's' to an 'A.' It  ain't hard. We got four a them.... Marianne an' Albion..... an' Celeste an' Roland.  But way I hear it, Marianne an' Roland more like a couple. If you been runnin' wit' us a while, you know 'bout them. If not, jus' Google - elferino-vampirino by Billy Kravitz .... (that the wilkravitz what types this..... I only whispers it in his ear). Think we got somethin' stuck up over there. 

Edith say Annie in 'frigerator. That what she feel. That what it look like. Say she smell rancid meat. I try tell her it from ole mink stole, but she doan communicate wit' me too good. Tomas gonna go ask Doctor Franklin, 'cause that ole man know lotta stuff. But Sarah say - Why you gotta get Anti-Enchantment-Bureau all messed up in this?..... So he ain't done it yet. 

Conrad  and Leo walk up an' down the streets lookin' every which way. But crap they do ain't worth shit. Some new vampires is real cry babies. Tomas say they hole up in bookstore readin' nasty magazine. Sarah ask 'em if it true. But they say 'no' an' run upstairs. Think they drawin' up ideas for comic book, or something... but I think it gonna be hard for vampire a get a agent.

Smoky thing go 'psss, psss, psss' in Annie's ear. Smoky thing tell her stuff. Say it her momma. Annie lay real still. She not better yet. Brains all screwed up. Doctah fella come back, stick his head down on her chest. Then he say - Look, I doan know what no vampire heart supposed a sound like, 'cause they not spend much time on that in bein'-doctah school....... Gangster boy wanna kill him, but his daddy say you can't kill ev'rybody, 'cause that not nice.

So they jus' gotta wait. See, what they wanna do is siphon off a little blood. Save it for mafia guy what get shot up too much. Gangster boy know how strong it is. Night-folk bastid in Baltimore sell him some once. But he want a private supply. Annie gonna be like a moo-cow. Doan know how she like that.

Smoky thing want her a kill herself. Say they be all wit' each other then. Annie not know her momma dead. Think she still in California. Smoky thing say she fall off a bus or a truck or somethin'....... Gee I use a like pumpkin pie. Seed some in the kitchen. Edith bring it wit' her. Get it from WalMart, but it like from the gourmet section. Wish I could eat some. Maybe if I pass through it few time that be jus' as good...... Annie brain still all outta whack. But that not stop her from cryin'. She do want her momma. Even bastid like her need 'momma-hug' ev'ry once in a while.

But you gotta be careful wit' talkin' smoky stuff. 'Cause mos' of it jus' full a shit.

Them elferino-vampirinos flyin' all over too. Even got the cherubs doin' it. I tell you 'bout them some other time. Caretaker wife at Laurel Hill Cemetery got ouija board. Tomas not like ouija board, 'cause he a real, Bible-lovin' Jew. So they go over there to do it. Got a little cottage all mixed in wit' them ole, mossy gravestones. Look like an ole fashion picture from weird storybook.  Elves an' her sit on floor by fireplace. Ask question..... Get answers. Ole, dead furrier guy say he know somethin'. But sometime he spell out crap in crazy talk, like Yiddish or Hungarian or like The Three Stooges do, so they not really know nothin'.

I try an' tell 'em. But 'cept for that wilkravitz, none of 'em know I here...

Gangster boy settin' up tubes now. He gonna draw off the blood. Other gangster boy supposed a help him. But he gotta finish a hoagie first...

=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

please hit the SHARE BAR. please leave a COMMENT. thank you. boy, would a hoagie taste good right now.