32ND BINGO BOY episode 11/30/12

BINGO BOY - post 32

Meanwhile, that night, back in the windowless, basement prison, Marge and Jimmy finish their dinner. And the other ghost narrators told me we never mentioned the chain. His foot is chained to the wall. It's a long one, attached to a ring, manacle, I guess they call it, 'round his ankle. That's so he can't run away. He can sit on the commode and mush up with Marge. But it never comes off, even when she 'helps' him take his sponge baths. Fits under his sock (he likes plain, cotton, crew socks from Kohl's). But Marge gets 'em from Kmart though. It's closer. He don't know. They had Ukrainian food, or almost Ukrainian food. She cooked it herself. Everything she makes is 'almost' what it's supposed to be. But at least she tries. Chinese food tastes like sweet and sour meatballs. But who knows? Maybe Chinese people would like it? An' ain't that the most important thing? Don't ask me what it was. I died in eighteen forty six. Never had no Ukrainian food in this city back then. Hell, German Jews and Irish Catholics were hot stuff to us. I had sour cream once. Threw up for two days. That's what killed me. So don't ask what Moo-Goo-Gai-Pan would a done. Probably would a taken out a whole side a the street.

Marge goes - Was it good?... Jimmy says - Very good... Marge says - So you liked it?..... Jimmy goes - I liked it... Marge says - I'm glad. I got the recipe from the library. The woman said it was real Ukrainian food. Still got the book. So tell me. What do you want for tomorrow?... He gestures for her to come closer. She sit-hops her chair over toward the cell and puts her face between the bars. He kisses her. She kisses him back. They pull apart. She catches her breath and goes - You want cabbage rolls? You want holubtsi?...... He goes - I give you cabbage roll... They kiss again.... She catches her breath and says - So, you like your new commode?..... Jimmy says - Yes, thank you very much. How much time til shit-for-brainses get home?..... Marge goes - Plenty a time. Don't worry...... Jimmy goes - Baby sleepink?...... She nods. They embrace through the bars and begin unfastening snaps and buckles...

'Bout a mile away, at the bingo hall, the evening shift is in full swing. Supper time's over (hot dog and mac and cheese casserole) and some a the big night games are startin'. Little Chrissie corners Marty by the doughnuts and coffee and says - You make up your mind yet?..... He goes - What?... Like he didn't hear, so she says it again. And Marty goes (as he stuffs a powdered doughnut into his mouth) - I'm thinkin'. I'm still thinkin..... Then he runs up and down the aisles, makin' like he's countin' all the cards for the record books. But it's just a show. Who the hell needs records when you can make 'em up yourself?... Little Chrissie looks over at Ricky (he's pickin' up quarters). He looks over at her. This ain't goin' too good...

And Too-Many-Cookies been askin' questions. Wants a know what's in all the bags. Seen Marge come back from Kohl's an' Kmart and all. Marge says - Christmas presents.... 'Too' says - Yeah? Then who's the little toilet for? I guess she ain't never heard nobody say 'commode.'  But Marge goes - Little toilet? I ain't never bought no little toilet..... 'Too' goes - Ohhh...... But you know she don't believe her... You know this is a real narrow street they live on. Secrets are like an endangered species. 

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31ST BINGO BOY episode 11/30/12

Bingo Boy - post 31

Now the next night, they were back in the bingo hall. It was a real hell hole. You could swim through the smoke.  It stuck to your tongue and made everybody's clothes smell like shit. But the crowd was good...at least eighty people. Not bad for one a the first cold nights a the year. Hot coffee, greasy doughnuts, cigarettes, low stakes gamblin'... man, life is good. Sure, the city has a 'no smoking' law. Everybody knows about that. But come on... Who do you think, outta this crew is gonna complain? Maybe a few don't like it... but they like bingo more. And you know what they say when somebody tells 'em cigarettes cause lung cancer? They say - Eh, who the hell knows? When it's 'your' time, it's 'your' time.......Believe me educated they ain't... Well, maybe one a them is.... Some skinny, school teacher guy. And it didn't do him any good. I'll tell you how it happened....

Uncle Patsy was up there callin' the numbers. Look, he wasn't the only caller, but he was the best. Droned on and on with that low voice. Put 'em to sleep. But that's OK. Better they ain't so alert. Both a the 'bingo slatterns' (carnie for shills) were workin'. Diane, the big one starts yellin'. She goes - BINGO!.... Then she turns to her neighbors and says - I don't know. Somebody up there likes me. This must be my lucky day!...... Right away, Muscles trots over to check her bingo. He picks up a card, looks up at Uncle Patsy, who could play this part in his sleep, and calls out any four number, winning combination from up on the light board.You know you don't need five, 'cause they got a free space. Uncle Patsy makes like he's listening. Then he goes - There's a winner. That's a bingo..... Muscles starts peelin' off ones from his roll, a few fives too. This was a twenty five dollar game. She don't keep it. Marty gets it all back. He gives her a cut. Like twenty percent, I think. Only before they finish and start the next game, the little school-teacher-guy says something. He goes - Excuse me, but why do you always show her wins to the other one, her friend there?Let me see that card...... But Muscles drops it back on the counter real quick and Diane mixes it in with the others, like she's gettin' ready for the new game...... Uncle Patsy goes - Too late. Game closed.... School-teacher-guy goes - You know, nobody wins over eight times a night, like she does. That's a statistical impossibility. And her 'friend' don't do too bad either....... Sure he knows he should a said 'doesn't,' but look, he don't wanna get beat up. As it is, groans rise from the crowd. Some a the viragoes yell things like - Shut the hell up, you Poindexter, pointy-headed bastard you! Come on! Shut him the hell up and play! Drop dead, you ass-hole, you!...... School-teacher-guy holds up a paper, like a little piece ripped from a tablet. And he goes - Yeah, am I? Well, I been keepin' a record. And I'm gonna show it to L & I, or the district attorney's office, or the cops and then we'll see how they like it.......... The viragoes go...( No, maybe this time it was the harridans? Sometimes I lose track) - Shut that bastid the hell up! Throw him out! Get rid of 'im! Yo, Muscles, come on! What's he pay you for?!..... So Muscles trots over and leans over him menacingly.... He goes - Yo, fa++ot, you got a problem?..... The school-teacher-guy goes beet red, grabs his coat and scrams. Must a parked real close by, 'cause he ain't gonna last on those streets more than a minute. And the dumb cows stamp and cheer.....

Marty saw it all through the one-way-mirror. He stood by the glass and watched. Ricky and Little Chrissie were in the back room with him too. Did a lot a work at the counting table and some a the other kids were beginning to notice, but what were they gonna do? The three a them were talkin' when the trouble started. And now they start talkin' again..... Little Chrissie goes - We want a lump-sum payout...... Marty laughs. He goes - Who you been watchin', Kramer? Suze Orman?..... She goes - What the fuck difference does it make to you!? I wanna get on with my life, so pay us!..... But Marty's real cool. Just turns to Ricky and goes - What about you?...... Ricky says - I wanna get on with my life too.......  Marty nods. He don't mean it. But he nods. He says - How much you want?...... Little Chrissie goes - Three hundred thousand dollars....... Marty grins and says -  Are you crazy? Are you fuckin' outta your minds? Where am I gonna get money like that?...... Ricky goes - You can get it..... Marty don't answer, just keeps grinnin'. So Ricky says - We figured it out. The more we saw, the higher it went..... Little Chrissie goes - Yeah, you get two hundred dopes in here every day. They drop like thirty bucks a piece. How much is that, Ricky?.... He goes - Six thousand a day. Thirty thousand a week. One point five mil a year...... Little Chrissie goes - And we help you count it, so we know..... Marty goes - Boy, you kids know a lot. What about expenses? What about taxes?...... Ricky goes - We allowed for that. Come on. We sit here every night and watch. You think we don't know? You keep like seven hundred thousand dollars a year........ Marty blanches....... Ricky adds - And, Marty, our figures are on the low side........ Little Chrissie says - We know you gave half to Jimmy. You always talk like it was two hundred thousand dollars. But it was more than two hundred thousand dollars. It was more like three hundred and fifty thousand dollars. And now with him gone, you're gettin' it all. So actually, we're givin' you a break. We don't want half a one year's take. We only want about forty percent....... Marty just looks...... Ricky goes - One time. One payout. That's it. We're gone. It's over. You can't go to the police. We can't go to the police......  Marty says - Lemme alone. Lemme think about it. 

And they sit there, in silence, like statues.....

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30TH BINGO BOY episode 11/29/12

Bingo Boy - post 30

Now sometimes our little family ventures out of their dismal surroundings. They did it on Thanksgiving when they went out for dinner. Today, they took a nice ride up to The Willow Grove Mall, in Montgomery County. And this ain't one a them cheap blue-collar-nirvana, screamin' baby malls either. This one got a Bloomingdales in it and a still thriving Barnes & Noble's too. People actually read around here. They ride up the escalators, calmly holding the handles of their heavyweight, statusy shopping bags. Nobody yells. Nobody cracks gum. They talk quietly to each other. People smile. Nobody reeks of tobacco. 

Little Chrissie and Ricky see it all from their seats in the food court. Baby dumpling is there too. And they look OK. They sort of fit in. She watches Charlie Rose. He still has some half way decent clothes from Target. Nothing wrong with Target, provided you know what you're looking at. And the little guy always looks cute. Some babies are like that, you know. They eat their Wendy's chicken sandwiches and they look. The baby's got a jar of pureed baby chow, so he's OK. Ricky feeds him. He loves feeding him. Look at him lean forward and open his mouth. Just like a little bird. 

Then Little Chrissie goes - I hate my life. Not the baby. Not you. Not my grandmom. But I hate it...... Ricky focuses on the little guy and goes - I know..... She says - Then what are we gonna do about it? Live like this forever? Just grab whatever Marty throws at us? And then we can't even spend it or put it in the bank or anything, because somebody, like the government is gonna want a know. They're gonna want to know where it came from. We're livin' the same way Jimmy lived and I don't like that.......... They lapse into silence. She studies the crowd and adds -  Ricky, do you like being together with me and all?..... Ricky says - Yeah, sure. Of course I do....... Little Chrissie goes - You know, I gave up smokin' all together. Not even three or four times a day, like before. Did you notice?....... He spoons another mouthful into the hungry baby and says - Sure I noticed..... She says - Are you glad? You know, I'm the first non-smoker in my whole family........ He says - Sure I'm glad...... She goes - Why?........ He says - Because your hair don't smell like shit no more....... She gives him a look..... He adds - Come on. You know I care about you.... She smiles from ear to ear. And the baby goes into his clap-clap-clap, ya-ya-ya-ya act.

A well dressed, retired couple at the next table (eating salads, naturally) turns around and tells Ricky how adorable his little 'son' is. He says - Thank you... Wipes the baby's mouth and doesn't miss a beat.

Then they finish up, ditch the trash and happily amble off to go get the little fella  a nice warm winter coat. And you know what? They DO sort a fit in.......

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29TH BINGO BOY episode for 11/28/12

Bingo Boy - post 29

Jimmy and Ricky are sitting down the basement watching cooking shows on TV. The former ensconced in his cell. The later on Marge's wooden folding chair.... Jimmy goes - So what. this is your shift?... Ricky goes - Yeah, it's my shift.... Jimmy thinks for a second, then says - Oh, yeah. I guess it is. I lost track... .... .... And if you look, you'll see that Jimmy's all dressed in regular clothes now. He has on jeans and a chambray work shirt. Looks like a prison uniform, but at least it's somethin'. Marge got it when she ran out to get him the commode.... So they sit there watchin' Martha Stewart whisk egg whites.... Jimmy says - Look how she does that. She Polish girl, almost like Ukrainian. Did I tell you?..... Ricky goes - Uh, yeah...... Jimmy goes - You gone let me go today?.... Ricky says - No, not today..... Jimmy nods and says - Why you not kill me that night in New Jersey? You know what you are?....... Ricky - No....... Jimmy adds - A stupid dope. It would have been so much easier for  you. I would have killed you...... Ricky offers him some cookies in a white box, like you get at a bakery. Jimmy peruses the assortment for a moment, then takes one. He eats it. It's good. Ricky offers another. Jimmy says - This got fatty acids?.... Ricky says - I don't know...... Jimmy gives him a dirty look. Ricky closes the box and puts it on a little table. 

Jimmy nods toward TV screen and goes - Did I tell you she Polish?..... Ricky goes - Yeah, like every day.... Jimmy says - Stir crazy, so go to hell..... Then he adds - We got good food in my part a Ukraine too. Real good food....... Ricky goes - I know. Some a my great grandparents came from there too, you know....... Jimmy says - Yeahhh? What part?....... Ricky goes - Zhitomer, you know it?..... Jimmy goes - Yeahhh..... Ricky says - Ekaterinoslav, you know that place too?..... Jimmy goes - Yeahhh....... Ricky adds - The other two were from some little place. I can't remember the name, but it was just to the west of Kharkiv....... Jimmy goes - 'Kharkiv, Kharkiv' Listen how he say it. Just like a 'Ukie.' Not like a Russian. The right way. The right way............ Ricky retrieves the cookie box and eats one, then goes - Well, what do ya think?..... But Jimmy goes - Yeah, but you not real Ukie. You not Catholic. You not Orthodox. You just a Jew....... Ricky goes - Jimmy..... Jimmy says - What?..... Ricky goes - You really hate us so much?..... Jimmy shrugs and goes - You know how it is. You grow up in place, father hate jew, mother hate jew, cousin hate jew, lady who clean church hate jew, imbecile with funny eye hate jew, whore hate jew....... Ricky goes - Stop counting on your fingers. You're gonna need your toes soon....... They sit in silence, watching Martha complete her sweet confection. Jimmy almost nods off, til  Ricky says - So what? You the only one came over?..... Jimmy says - Only one..... Ricky goes - How come?...... Jimmy goes - Killed, dead. I lived with cousin in city. Real family kaput...... Ricky goes - What, the Nazis?.......Jimmy says - Not Nazis. No Nazis. Stalin. Communist. Russians. See? Nobody tell you that. Do they?..... Ricky says - Then you tell me...... Jimmy goes - Ten years before Germans, fifteen maybe, Stalin want to force Ukrainians into big government farm, like prison camp they were. But people do not want this (Ricky listens), so he torture them. He starve them. He kill them. He burn them.... And my family...... Ricky goes - Yeah?..... Jimmy goes - Dead, Dead.Dead. Dead. Dead...... Ricky says - My father said he used to get letters from his relatives in Ukraine. Not him. My grandfather, actually. Right up until the beginning of World War Two....... Jimmy says - What happen to them? On top of being Jew, I mean?...... Ricky goes - That was enough. Didn't give them any choice. Farm camp, or death? Collaborate, or death? And what are you asking me for? You know... Boy, do you know......... Jimmy looks down at his hands and says - I was six years old then. I was six years old........ They just sit there, as Miss Martha tilts the finished birthday cake toward the camera.....

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28TH BINGO BOY episode for 11/27/12

Bingo Boy - post 28

So they laid in bed and before they fell asleep a fight broke out in the middle of the street. Two neighbors hollerin' over a parkin' space. Thirty seven degrees...a cold, clammy mist... and they're fighting. Real Jerry Springer shit. All 'F' you and 'go to hell' and 'M-F' and 'C-S'er'... Look, excuse all the capital letters. But I am one a them ghost-narrators that wasn't raised that way. If I ever said those words I'd a been a ghost a lot earlier. I can guarantee you that. Now Ricky and Little Chrissie sleep in the back. The master bedroom, partitioned into two for Marge and the baby faces the street. And glass was breakin' out there. And fists was flyin'. A forty seven year old and a twenty six year old. And the forty seven year old was plenty fat. More like a sixty seven year old. Baby wakes up. Look, he hears noise, he gets scared. It's natural. Little Chrissie runs in to get him. She tells Marge to go wait it out in the little room in the back. But it ain't got no bed, just an old metal desk and a wood foldin' chair. Think they got a little radio in there and some old magazines, but I don't know. Anyway, Marge ain't gonna budge. Street fights is free entertainment. So she sits on an old milk crate (used for laundry) by the window and peeks out under the shade.... Forty seven year old had a stroke. I saw him leave his body. Said - Christ! what the 'F' happened a me!?... Wife ran out in a little knee length slip or somethin'. I don't think she wears dresses to work. I think she just likes wearin' a slip. Takes one look at the bloated turd on the sidewalk and tears into the twenty six year old. Starts scratchin, cuttin', kickin', bitin'. Dogs is barkin'. People start yellin' for Jesus Christ. But the cops got there first and broke it all up. Funny thing is the baby fell right back to sleep, snuggled there in the bed between Ricky and Little Chrissie.

Then, when the sirens stop and everything, Marge runs in to talk about it. Street 'troubles' are relished around here. Said she saw 'his body.' Said she saw  'Dirty-Neck's' skinny knocker fly out. Saw the twenty six year old tattooed guy bleedin' and all. Just wants a sit on the bed and keep talkin' about it. But Little Chrissie wants the baby to keep sleepin'. So she tells her to go down and see if Jimmy's OK. Maybe bring him a tuna fish sandwich, or somethin'. Marge likes bein' with Jimmy, so she goes. 

Ricky says, in a real low voice, almost a whisper, but not a whisper - We gotta get outta here. We got some money. He'll (Marty) give us more. I can't take this. Come on, you want him (the baby) growin' up 'round here?...... She goes - No...... He goes - Well?.... She says - But what about Jimmy? What, we're gonna ask the real estate lady if by any chance the new place comes with a dungeon or somethin' ?

So they just lay there thinkin', cuddled 'round the baby til they all fall asleep...

But down in the basement, Marge tells Jimmy (who was a little shook up by the noise, but otherwise OK, because he couldn't tell what was goin' on.) that Mary's sister across the street, Too-Many-Cookies, was lookin' at their house real funny like. 

He wants a know if Too-Many-Cookies is a Indian name. But she says- No..... Her name was just plain 'Cookie' til she put on a lot a weight and then it just got changed....

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27TH BINGO BOY episode for 11/26/12

Bingo Boy - post 27

And once they got back to the bingo parlor, the rest a the night seemed pretty normal. But  Marty was awful quiet. So were the two Chrissies. So was Ricky. John brought up the story on the internet. He wanted to talk about the blog and all. Little Chrissie made like she was interested. Made like she didn't know a thing. He'll forget. He's like that. Once he bought a book about magic and thought he could do spells. You know. It's always somethin'. But Marty just wasn't right. One a the 'bingo slatterns' (the shills) never showed and he wound up payin' out more money than usual that night. Most times that would set him off. But I don't think he even noticed. Just sat in the back room with his eyes closed...makin' like he was sleepin'..... But he wasn't.  And when closin' time came, the four a them what was in that car couldn't run out fast enough. 'Muscles' came back. Made sure everything was shut tight. Sure he knows how  to milk money out a the old ladies. But basically he's a good guy.... If he likes you. 

Ricky and Little Chrissie went right upstairs. I think they cut a few chunks off a brick a supermarket cheddar from the refrigerator, but that was about it. The baby was already sleepin'. Went in to see him. That, they always do. He's such a nice little guy. Little Chrissie carefully took off his socks. The baby hates to sleep with socks. He wakes up during the night and goes - Hot! Hot! Hot!.... Then he pulls 'em off and throws 'em out a the crib. But he likes gettin' all snuggly with his warm 'blankie' though. And Ricky turned on the small, baby lamp he has. It rotates and throws dim, cartoony, dinosaur pictures on the walls. The baby really likes it. Then they went to bed. I guess they thought Marge was in her room. But she wasn't. Marge was down in the cellar with Jimmy. Oh, they could be real quiet when they had too....  like teenagers in the parlor. My guess is they were doin' somethin' earlier, but not now...... He sits in the cage. She sits outside the cage. He puts his arm around her. Still got that sheet-kilt and sweater ensemble goin' on. Must be used to it by now.

They're lookin' at tv with the sound turned down. Think they're watchin' THE NATURAL. You know, baseball, miracles, Robert Redford, Glenn Close and all. Then a commercial comes on for one a them safe-for-old-folks sit-down-bath tubs. Must a jigged somethin' out a his brain and he goes - I am tired of using plastic slop bucket. Must have ring 'round ass like brand, or tattoo, or something. Must have permanent disfigurement....... Marge goes - No you're not....... How you know? - He says. What you do, look at it?........ She says - Yeah, sometimes, like when I help you get washed...... He gives one, curt nod and goes - I want commode. TV has it. You can get it. They have it. They sell it.

Marge goes - Alright. If I get a chance, maybe tomorrow. Christ, I hope it comes disassembled. You're gonna have to put it together. I can't carry no sick-room crap in here. Somebody'll see...... But then he tickles her ear and she just sighs....

Still, she was thinkin'. She was thinkin' 'bout what she saw the other night, when they got back from the Chinese place. Nobody else saw it. Ricky didn't see it. Chrissie didn't see it. And Mary lived four doors down, so she didn't see it either. But Marge did. Somebody tried to break into the house. There were gouge marks in the door frame. Yeah, the wood was old and not in the best shape to begin with. But these were gouge marks and she knew it.

Jimmy must a heard it. He had to know. But he didn't say nothin' either. Look, he could a been sleepin'. Seemed groggy when they gave him the spare-ribs and all. That could a been it..... Maybe... And maybe not...

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26TH BINGO BOY episode for 11/25/12

Bingo Boy - post 26

The four a them were sittin' in Marty's car talkin'. Big Chrissie and Marty were in front. Ricky and Little Chrissie were in back. It was cold. It was drizzling. They were parked outside some Kmart. Marty needed Christmas candy to feed the women in the bingo parlor. Big Chrissie wasn't supposed to go too, but she ran out and jumped in. Rainy nights are slow. They already had enough kids on the floor and she knew it. Besides, Big Chrissie had something to say....

She goes - I do not think he's comin' back. I got a feelin'. I got a feelin'. I know it...... She digs through her handbag and says - Look, look, look, here, I'll show you. I can get it on the phone. I'll show you..... Then she taps something on the screen with her fingernails..... John saw it. He saw it first. He told me - she says.... Here, here, here it is. Look, read it. Read it. Read it. - and she thrusts the phone to Marty..... The other two just sit there. They don't say a word. Marty takes the phone. He looks. He reads and goes - Jesus Christ....... Big Chrissie goes - Didn't I tell you. Whoever writes that is talkin' 'bout us. John tried to find his name, but he couldn't...... Marty stammers a reply - B-b-but how's he talkin' about us? This guy's talkin' 'bout a murder. We ain't murdered nobody......... Yeah, but the people. The place. The way it looks. My God, even some a the customers - goes Big Chrissie. Shit, it's like the Twilight Zone. I wanna talk to Jimmy. There must be a way I can call him. You don't get it. He's like an uncle to me. It's a sign! It's a sign! It's a sign! Who's gonna help with the baby!!?....... Marty don't say a word. Then she starts punchin' him and slappin' him and cryin'.......... He fights her off. He goes - Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! You know I'm gonna help you. You know I will. Stop it!..... Like about a minute goes by. And you know how long a minute can be when nobody talks.... Then Big Chrissie goes - Look, I know he's a creep. I know he's a loudmouth. I know he's a 'hater.' I know all that... And I know you don't like givin' him money. So what'd you do, Marty, kill 'im? What, did they do it?...... Ricky clears his throat and goes - You're crazy. You know that?....... She goes - Yeah? So, I'm crazy. Big deal. I'm crazy. But that don't mean I can't be right...... They just sit there in the car withy the windows all fogged up..... Ricky goes - We didn't kill him. We didn't kill him. And I swear it on my mother and father's graves....... She sniffs back a few tears... Marty goes - And I did not kill him either. Look, he'll be back. Don't worry. You know how he gets. He does this. My God! Don't worry...... Big Chrissie goes - OK, you don't want me to worry?...... Marty says - No. My God....... And she adds - Then gimme money. Gimme money from your pocket. I don't wanna wait for no envelope from Jimmy. You gimme. You! You! Start now. Do it now. Don't wait. Not after the baby comes. Now. Do it now....... Marty goes - Do you have to start this in front a them?...... But she goes - Who the hell do you think doesn't know already... your wife? You want me to tell your wife?..... He just slumps..... She looks in the rear view mirror and tells the two in the back - You know, I don't even know where he lives. I know it's in Bucks County. I know that much. But that's about it..... Ricky and Little Chrissie don't say a word..... Finally, Marty goes - How much you want?.... She goes - It's NOT what I want. It's what I NEED! Don't gimme that 'want' shit, you creep..... Marty goes - Twelve hundred a week. I'll give you twelve hundred a week...... And that's how it ended..... Ricky and Little Chrissie ran into the Kmart for the candy and all and  then they rode back to work.

But the blog went on. She never stopped. Christ, sixty five people saw it last night. Guy on Twitter said it ought a be a book.... Little Chrissie didn't know how to do that... But she could learn.

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