47TH BINGO BOY episode 12/17/12

Bingo Boy - post 47

The next day they went over to Ricky's house. Brought a whole mess a big plastic bags. The kind you use for leaves and grass and all. Gonna bag up all the shit and toss it, use some a the 'Marty' money they already had to fix it up and sell it. Could be they'd get maybe one fifteen, one twenty. Little Chrissie wanted a go to Jersey. She likes the shore. Says it's a good place for kids to grow up. Figures her grand-mom's house might add another sixty nine, if they dressed it up a little. Best case, they'd have like a little over two hundred thousand. Ricky said - Can't buy no shore house for two hundred. And what are we gonna do for money once we get there. What, am I gonna push a rolling chair? You gonna be a cocktail waitress?..... But they clean out the house anyway, 'cause sometimes there ain't no sense to what you want, but you want it just the same...

Too-Many-Cookies did go to the bingo. She told Marty what she saw. He sort a believed her. Figured Marge had some guy in there. Not that he can really say. But he's seen her around. He got an idea what she was. Look, not like he got high expectations for people 'round here. But he calls Muscles over. Whispers to him. Says - What do you think the odds are that Jimmy-bastid's still alive? ...... Muscles blinks. He don't know what to say. What, he's gonna analyse something?... But Marty keeps pressin'. Big Chrissie runs over. She goes - What are you talkin' about Jimmy? What, he come back already?...... She really showin' now. Sweatin' too. Even though it winter, she damp-like. And the place all fill a smoke. And her baby breathin' it in through her belly button. I think that where the baby-air come from. But I ain't no scientist. So don't hold me to it....... John, the other bingo-boy have lunch wit' Big Chrissie. It really supper. But they call it lunch, 'cause it come like in the middle a their shift. She eatin' chicken nuggets an' a salad. Dressing all trans-fatted-up, but she don't know that. It not beef. It not potatoes. She eatin' healthy. John grab shit off the dollar menu, 'cause he never got no money. She say - I think Jimmy back..... He go - Yeah? That ought a make you happy. Then you get the money right from him, wit'out that Marty stickin' his shit in. Why he gotta know anyway? He ain't part a this?...... She give him a look. She go - What you mean?.... He say - Come on. We know who the daddy is. We know who poke you up and all...... She keep lookin'. And he whisper - Jimmy. .... Then he go - Girl, what'chu got, a grand-pop fixation, or somethin'?....... But she just tell him to drop dead. Then they have the ice cream....

Now, nobody know where Jimmy is. But that don't mean he ain't someplace. Right now he in Jersey. Everybody like Jersey. You know it the richest state in the whole country? Got horse farms. Got shore towns (nice ones too). Got real fancy shoppin' joints. Why you think they got all them Cheesecake Factories? An' I talkin' 'bout them restaurants. Even got Jersey Devil too. Not that team. No, not them. I talkin' 'bout them creatures. What, you never seed 'em drivin' back from the shore? You never seed 'em runnin' back and forth, all naked, through the woods? Come on! What'chu doin' in that car? You must be blind. I knowed one by name, kid Jersey Devil. Called him Horsey Skeezix. Used a throw him salt water taffy. He like that......

But lemme get back to Jimmy. Yeah, he feel real bad doin' Marge and Little Chrissie and the baby and Ricky like he do. But two a them was gonna kill 'im. So he figure it right and proper if they shit theyselves a little. Not the baby. He shit hisself a lot anyway. Still, it not like Jimmy wastin' time. He in Margate (Google it). He lookin' at houses. Just a little bit a them got smashed up in the big storm. The rest a them's OK. An' he got money. An' he shoppin'. 

Know how much he find in that second safe deposit box?.... I ain't tellin'. Not now, anyway.

But it a lot......

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THE MIDNIGHT WALKER 12/17/12

No Bingo Boy tonight, just a true recollection of something that happened to me a few winters back. And apparently, others claim the same thing's happened to them too. It ain't up on here. I TWEETED in on TWITTER. TwitLonger lets you do that. Look for it on my page ( @wilkravitz ). It's the one near the top that begins with @joe_hill . If you've had a similar experience, please leave a comment here, or a tweet there. Go to #midnightwalker if you like too. Dark winter nights hide cold, dead things...

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B.E. Scully: Fire Devils

B.E. Scully: Fire Devils: Let it be cleansed, let it be reborn anew.  Let creation come from destruction, as all life must come from death. Let it b...A mesmerizing look into the eyes of compulsion.... plus, if you're a writer, study this post. B.E. Scully has hit on something. The perfect mix of entertainment and enticement ...And the STORY IS REAL GOOD TOO! Then when you're done, wander around our part of the forest. Scroll down for some BINGO BOY......And remember...THIS IS NOT THE POST! You gotta click on this to see the REAL THING.... OK? MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!!

46TH BINGO BOY episode 12/16/12

BINGO BOY - post 45

Almost couldn't post tonight. Hard to find a narrator. you do know it's ghosts what do this? I don't know if 'ghost' is the right word. To me we're all just good, normal people who've lost our physical bodies. We see. We hear. We touch. We do all that stuff.... I don't know HOW we do it without nerve endings. But just because we're dead don't mean we know everything. I saw God drive by once. I think it was God. I waved. He just tapped the horn a little. My friend Tipsky says God looks different to every species. Humans see a human. Them what comes from other places see not-so-humans. But folks here are sad. Them little dumplings what came in from Connecticut didn't help. But what, you think they were the only ones? Tragedy happens like the rain. And it happens because we let it. Folks are good at going 'tisk-tisk-tisk.' I hate them teeth suckers. They went 'tisk-tisk-tisk' about Auschwitz and the Titanic and The Great Hunger and The Armenians. You want me to go on? And I'm just talkin' about the last two centuries.

Little dumplings are settlin' in though. Some wit' grannies and grand-pops. Some with great grannies and  great grand-pops. They mostly don't understand what happened. They just know they're here. And they cry for them what ain't. 'Cause look at it this way... You're 'dead' to them.  Sure we send messages back and forth through dreams or lose circuits or dusty table tops. But it ain't the same.

What, you wanna know my name?  They called me Mister Tibbs.... No they didn't. I just couldn't resist. I'm sorry. That was the last picture I seen before I died. I like movies. Saw Liz Taylor on the street once. Up here, I mean. Looked good too. Was goin' somewhere with Mike Todd. But I knew it was her. I go - Yo, Liz...... She didn't really look my way, but she smiled a little. Tipsky said she looked drunk. What? You don't think we can get drunk?... OK, believe that, if you want. What do I care. We got scotch and slivovitz and beer and shrimp and puddin' cups and everything. Plus, nobody ever gets bloated.... Maybe they do in hell, or what you'd call 'hell,' but not here. I ain't laid a fart in forty years.

My name's Louis. That's who I am. An' I died from o-beast-ity. Ate hot dogs and onion rings and Tasty Kakes and fried matzoh and I ain't even Jewish. Don't ask me why. That's all I'm gonna tell you.. I'm Louis. 

But I will tell you a little bit 'bout what's gone on in Marge's house. Everybody real quiet in there. Walkin' around wit' just their socks on. I don't mean they's naked. I just mean no shoes. Sometime they just sits and stares. Got some money. But not enough. Marge makes coffee, maybe open up a can a soup or two. Little Chrissie jus' look at television. Don't watch . Jus' look. Ricky just sit in a old vinyl reclining chair like he Ca-Ca's Mother. That who give it to them, after she stunk it up real good. Marge wipe it down with Lysol, but stink not gone. It jus' hidin'.

Baby still his ole cheerful self, rollin' around in his playpen. Goin' 'uh oh' when he poop a little. He like scrambled egg wit' milk in it. Ricky make him some. Too-Many-Cookies still laid up. I doan know why they call it 'walkin' pneumonia. Should call it 'flat on you ass' pneumonia.

Marge cry when she think about Jimmy. He her last, best hope... even if they had a capture him for her. But now he gone and that studio-apartment-jail-cell in the basement ain't nothin' like it was.

Ain't they told you Jimmy bought a big diamond ring? Well, that was yesterday. Now he got hisself a fancy car , plus a whole lot a other 'spensive shit. Know how much was in that safe deposit box? Three hundred thousand dollar. And that was just the first one, 'cause a little note at the bottom led him to a second......

And Marty don't know a God damned thing...

'Scuse me now. They comin' 'round wit' 'pigs-in-a-blanket.'

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45TH BINGO BOY episode 12/15/12

BINGO BOY - post 45

They sat in the car for a long time. I mean a real long time. Then Little Chrissie said - Come on. Let's go home.  So they pulled out of the strip mall in Bell Mawr and went back. Bridge cost like... I don't know.....Five bucks? Lucky there was a few bills in the console, 'cause Ricky didn't have much on him. Marge is waitin' when they get there. She can tell something's wrong soon as they get out of the car. Ricky look's white. Real chalky. Real pale. And Little Chrissie got her jaw set, like she's thinkin' about something. Like she wants to punch somebody. First thing Marge says is - Where's Jimmy?.... But they don't say nothing. Just walk right by her and plop down.  Siren tears through the street. That happens all the time. Kids call it a 'ghetto ice cream truck.' Ricky says - Better learn to like that..... Marge goes - Why? What do you mean? Come on. What happened? Tell me?..... But she looks plenty nervous too. She knows. Not exactly. But she knows.

Little Chrissie goes - He ditched us. Went in the bank. Got the money. Ran out the back and ditched us....... Marge goes - I don't believe it. I don't believe it...... And she starts shakin'..... Ricky goes - You know what's gonna happen, don't you? That 'Too' from across the streets' gonna tell Marty she saw him...... Little Chrissie goes - That dumb, fat ass, God damn bitch....... Ricky says - And next time Marty goes to the box and sees it's empty (holds index-finger gun to his head) CHOO! You know he got Muscles and the other one now. He's got two a them. Maybe Marty wouldn't do it on his own. But Muscles would, 'cause he wants some a the money for himself. It might not be safe to stay around here....... Little Chrissie goes - So what do we do?....... Ricky looks down and mumbles - I don't know..... Marge starts to cry. Tears start running down her face..... The baby wakes up. They hear him yellin' from his crib. He goes - Out! Out! Out! Uppie! Uppie! Uppie!..... Ricky wants to go get him, but Little Chrissie says - No, I'll go....... Think she just wants to do something.

So that's how they spend the day. They sit. They think. They smoke. Still go out on the front step or in the ally to do that. Ain't lost all their humanity. There is a baby, you know. Mary, Too's mother calls just before WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? She don't like that show. Marge picks it up. Mary goes - What's a matter? What's gone on? Why won't you tell me?..... Marge mouths 'it's Mary' to the others. Little Chrissie says - Ask her where her dumb, bitch daughter is?...... Mary goes - Why don't you tell your tenth grade drop out to shut the hell up?! And tell her my dumb, bitch daughter ain't here..... Marge goes - Where'd she go?..... Mary says - What? You afraid she told Marty? Look, I don't control her. I don't know what she does. But that ain't where she went. Her asthma started actin' up. She had a go to the doctor..... Marge wants the others to hear, so she goes - Oh, she's at the doctor's?..........Ricky gives out with a stage whisper - Thank you, Jesus!..... Little Chrissie snorts. Baby likes that, so he claps and laughs..... Turns out 'Too' gonna be laid up a couple days. Got like a 'walkin' pneumonia.

Least that's a little break. 

Marge goes down the basement. She just sits on the folding chair, looking at the little 'studio apartment' jail cell she made. The kids  go upstairs to lie down. Baby's in his playpen throwin' Weebles at the TV screen. Think he's aimin' for Sharon Osbourne. He's gonna hit it one day. I'm tellin' you.

And Jimmy runs off to buy a real, big, fancy diamond ring......

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44TH BINGO BOY episode 12/13/12

BINGO BOY - post 44

Bank guard still don't unlock the door yet. They never open on time. Nine o'clock for them don't come til nine fifteen. Car windows are all fogged up. See, actually they're parked a little ways over from the bank. Jimmy don't want no security camera takin' pictures a the licence. He wipes a little 'hole' in the misty, wet part, so they can see out. Ricky wipes doughnut powder off his mouth and says - How'd you find this place?..... Jimmy shakes his head. He can't believe this. He goes - Jesus Christ! You not know? I thought Jew supposed a be smart!......Little Chrissie goes - Hey, Jimmy, ain't you a Jew now?..... Jimmy goes - But I a smart one! I a smart one. Gimme your phone! Gimme your phone!...... At this point, Ricky don't want no friction, so he contorts his body (gettin' phones out a blue jeans pockets is tough) and hands it over. Right away, Jimmy starts snappin' it apart. Ricky goes - Hey! Hey!..... But Jimmy impatiently swats his hands outta the way. Then he shows him a little circuit thing inside. Shoves it right in his face. Goes - Here! Here! Here! Any dumb, dope with two dollar and a Radio Shack know what to do. You went to college!? I go college too! I go good college! I go big college....... Little Chrissie goes - What, prison-college?..... He grunts and was just about to say something, but then the guard opens the door....... Ricky goes - Oh, God! What do we do!? What do we do!?..... Jimmy goes - You not gone do nothin'. I go inside.Me, just me. I got paper. I got card. I got licence. Not genuine, but it 'real' all right. They not gone stop me. I Marty..... And he shows him. I guess in Odess' they learn you how to do everything.

So the two of 'em watch the Russian exit the car, hitch up his pants, straighten his jacket and march over.... Little Chrissie says - How much you think is in there?..... Ricky goes - I don't know. Saw them stuff a micro-wave with money on Ellen once. Held what, twenty five thousand?...... Little Chrissie says - Yeah, but you don't know what he got in there. Could be a real big one. Some boxes hold like a little end table. Like a box big enough for Ted William's whole head, you know?...... Ricky says - How you know all that?... She goes - Saw it in a James bond movie once..... He goes - Oh.

Now they DO figure it must be some big amount. A hundred thousand. Two hundred thousand. Gotta be. And they sit there, all nervous, not makin' a sound and lookin'. Few people go in. Few people come out. Shoe place next door open up. Five Guys Burger open up. Guess they got like a breakfas' sangwitch, or somethin'. Ricky start shakin' his leg. You know, that thing where the knee bounce up an' down when people get nervous?....... Little Chrissie go - Will you stop that? The whole car vibratin'!..... Then Ricky go - Look! Look! Look! He's comin'! He's comin'!...... But it not him, jus' an ole bastid what look like him. Then she go pee in the Dunkin Donut. Then he go pee in the Dunkin Donut. ...They sit some more. They curse. They sit. They hope. They pray..... But no Jimmy.

Ricky say - I'm gone in..... Little Chrissie go - Me too...... So they jump out the car and trot over. He go first. She go second. You know how them red-light, green-light door work?... Place real quiet. Folks wait in line. Folks gettin' money. He see the sign for the safe deposit boxes. Got a real angry faced girl, dressed like a cop, sittin' on a foldin' chair outside. Door open. You can see the whole thing. You can see all them boxes. Real bright. Lots a lights. Nice rugs. Guess they doan want no valuable glass shit crashin' down on the floor. Mus' be like a insurance thing, or somethin'.... But no Jimmy..... Little Chrissie look at angry-face girl. Angry-face girl look at her. She see this before. Family always fight over shit. It always a race. Rich bastid get there first. Poor bastid get there second. That how it go. Halloween cop girl say - Can I help you?...... Little Chrissie go - You see my Uncle Marty? We 'opposed a meet him here...... Almost cop girl go - That his name over there?..... An' she hold up a list, on a little clipboard...... Little Chrissie look. Ricky look. She say - Yeah, that him. Where he go?....... Look like the niece and nephew gone have a hearty-tack.... Almost cop girl point down little hall way. She say - He go down there..... So them two go down too..... That when they see the backdoor. 

Run out lookin' and lookin', like Jimmy playin' peek-a-boo, or somethin'. Like he gone jump out from a hedge and go - BOO!.... But thing is, he not playin' peek-a-boo. He not playin' any game at all.

Little Chrissie start a cry.... Ricky do too, but he wipe it away real fas'.

Almost cop girl look out a window. She laughin' an' laughin'. She like when this shit happen....

Poor little baby. That who I feel sorry for. I hate bein' the ghost narrator what gotta tell this part. But tonight my 'up' so what I gonna do?.....

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43RD BINGO BOY episode 12/12/12 CONCERT FOR HURRICANE SANDY DAY

BINGO BOY - post 43

Mary heard his voice. She heard him in the background. She heard him say - Who's that?..... What's even worse, she heard Marge try an' shush him. Marge goes - Jesus Christ, what do you want, Mary? It ain't even six-a-clock! Are you crazy?!........ Mary goes - No, come on. Shut up. I'm your friend. Tell me. What the hell are you doin' with Jimmy there?..... Mary rolls her eyes to the others. She don't know what to do, but she's a trooper, so she goes on. She says - Jimmy ain't here. He's in Yugoslavia...... Little Chrissie adds - Not Yugoslavia. In Russia. I mean in Ukraine. Ain't no Jimmy here...... Mary goes - Look, tell her to shut up. I know what's goin' on. 'Too' saw 'im when she took the dog out. We know. We don't know why. But we know. An' why you up so early?........ Marge goes - Baby couldn't sleep. He's teethin. You know how they get....... Just then, the little guy starts laughin' and gurglin' and clappin'. Even does a few 'ahm, ahm, ahm's'..... Mary goes - Don't sound like no teethin' pains to me........ Marge goes - Chrissie rubbed his gums. She put stuff on it.........Mary goes - What, crack cocaine!?..... But they don't answer, so she says - Somethin's gone on. And it's got somethin' to do with that Jew- guy, don't it?....... Jimmy motions for her to hang up. Chrissie does the same.... Marge goes - Ooh, I'll talk to you later. I gotta go pee, God damn it. Lemme alone... And she slams down the receiver. Little Chrissie goes - How much you wanna bet she's gonna be right over there as  soon as it opens?........ Jimmy goes - I gotta get outta here. I gotta get to the bank.... Ricky says - How you got an account? You don't have any records?....... I got a key - says Jimmy. Better than records.......

Fifteen minutes later they're off. Ricky pulls his car around to the house, right up on the sidewalk. Maybe three inches between the passenger side door and the white, marble front steps. Little Chrissie dives in the back. And Jimmy, dressed in a new Kohl's ensemble, rides shotgun. They tear onto I-95. It's still early, so traffic's not too bad, race down to the Ben Franklin Bridge (like the Golden Gate, but baby blue...don't ask) and escape over into New Jersey. That's where the bank is. That's where the safe deposit box is. But it's not a bank. Not a 'bank' bank. It's a credit union. Marty hides money there. You know he only pays taxes on what they show in the 'tax man' books. This is the other stuff. The real stuff. Only thing is, Jimmy got a key too. Marty don't know it...... But here's how he did it. Saw a shiny, new key layin' on the desk. In the backroom, I mean. Marty was playin' with it. But then he had a take a piss. You know how it comes on all of a sudden? That's when Jimmy walked in. He don't know what is was. But he sees a key, so he takes it. You know he's a 'con.' They do shit like that. Five seconds later he makes for the door. Ten minutes later, he got a copy. You can still do that on 'the Avenue.' They still got a few old fashioned hardware stores. And some a the newsstands got key machines too.

Then he strolls back in. Marty's gone crazy. You know he lost somethin'. He's lookin' everywhere. He's tearin' out drawers, lookin' on the floor, dumpin' out the wastebasket.... Jimmy says - What's a matter? What'd you lose?....... Marty goes - Nothin'. Nothin'. A key! A key! A key!..... What kind a key? - goes Jimmy.... And Marty didn't mean to say it, but he blurts it out. He goes - A box. A box! A box key!........ Jimmy makes like he's lookin'. And that bastid's a good actor. Gets down on the floor. Crawls around. Moans and groans. You know he's got arthritis? Hurts his knee. That part was an accident. You should a heard him cursin'. Marty goes - What's a matter? You find it?..... And by this time, Jimmy's had enough, so he palms the original in his pocket, struggles to his feet and shoves it right into Marty's face. Almost took an eye out too.... Here's your key! Here's your fuckin' key, you God damn bastid! - he goes.... Marty grabs it and sits down. You can see how relieved he is..... Only thing, now Jimmy knows 'that box' is THEE BOX.  

And three hours later they're waitin' in the cold parking lot  of a little strip mall in Bell Mawr, New Jersey, for the blubbery guard to unlock the door...

Lucky there's a Dunkin Donut's 'cross the way, 'cause that helped kill the time.

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