Wednesday, December 12, 2012


BINGO BOY - post 43

Mary heard his voice. She heard him in the background. She heard him say - Who's that?..... What's even worse, she heard Marge try an' shush him. Marge goes - Jesus Christ, what do you want, Mary? It ain't even six-a-clock! Are you crazy?!........ Mary goes - No, come on. Shut up. I'm your friend. Tell me. What the hell are you doin' with Jimmy there?..... Mary rolls her eyes to the others. She don't know what to do, but she's a trooper, so she goes on. She says - Jimmy ain't here. He's in Yugoslavia...... Little Chrissie adds - Not Yugoslavia. In Russia. I mean in Ukraine. Ain't no Jimmy here...... Mary goes - Look, tell her to shut up. I know what's goin' on. 'Too' saw 'im when she took the dog out. We know. We don't know why. But we know. An' why you up so early?........ Marge goes - Baby couldn't sleep. He's teethin. You know how they get....... Just then, the little guy starts laughin' and gurglin' and clappin'. Even does a few 'ahm, ahm, ahm's'..... Mary goes - Don't sound like no teethin' pains to me........ Marge goes - Chrissie rubbed his gums. She put stuff on it.........Mary goes - What, crack cocaine!?..... But they don't answer, so she says - Somethin's gone on. And it's got somethin' to do with that Jew- guy, don't it?....... Jimmy motions for her to hang up. Chrissie does the same.... Marge goes - Ooh, I'll talk to you later. I gotta go pee, God damn it. Lemme alone... And she slams down the receiver. Little Chrissie goes - How much you wanna bet she's gonna be right over there as  soon as it opens?........ Jimmy goes - I gotta get outta here. I gotta get to the bank.... Ricky says - How you got an account? You don't have any records?....... I got a key - says Jimmy. Better than records.......

Fifteen minutes later they're off. Ricky pulls his car around to the house, right up on the sidewalk. Maybe three inches between the passenger side door and the white, marble front steps. Little Chrissie dives in the back. And Jimmy, dressed in a new Kohl's ensemble, rides shotgun. They tear onto I-95. It's still early, so traffic's not too bad, race down to the Ben Franklin Bridge (like the Golden Gate, but baby blue...don't ask) and escape over into New Jersey. That's where the bank is. That's where the safe deposit box is. But it's not a bank. Not a 'bank' bank. It's a credit union. Marty hides money there. You know he only pays taxes on what they show in the 'tax man' books. This is the other stuff. The real stuff. Only thing is, Jimmy got a key too. Marty don't know it...... But here's how he did it. Saw a shiny, new key layin' on the desk. In the backroom, I mean. Marty was playin' with it. But then he had a take a piss. You know how it comes on all of a sudden? That's when Jimmy walked in. He don't know what is was. But he sees a key, so he takes it. You know he's a 'con.' They do shit like that. Five seconds later he makes for the door. Ten minutes later, he got a copy. You can still do that on 'the Avenue.' They still got a few old fashioned hardware stores. And some a the newsstands got key machines too.

Then he strolls back in. Marty's gone crazy. You know he lost somethin'. He's lookin' everywhere. He's tearin' out drawers, lookin' on the floor, dumpin' out the wastebasket.... Jimmy says - What's a matter? What'd you lose?....... Marty goes - Nothin'. Nothin'. A key! A key! A key!..... What kind a key? - goes Jimmy.... And Marty didn't mean to say it, but he blurts it out. He goes - A box. A box! A box key!........ Jimmy makes like he's lookin'. And that bastid's a good actor. Gets down on the floor. Crawls around. Moans and groans. You know he's got arthritis? Hurts his knee. That part was an accident. You should a heard him cursin'. Marty goes - What's a matter? You find it?..... And by this time, Jimmy's had enough, so he palms the original in his pocket, struggles to his feet and shoves it right into Marty's face. Almost took an eye out too.... Here's your key! Here's your fuckin' key, you God damn bastid! - he goes.... Marty grabs it and sits down. You can see how relieved he is..... Only thing, now Jimmy knows 'that box' is THEE BOX.  

And three hours later they're waitin' in the cold parking lot  of a little strip mall in Bell Mawr, New Jersey, for the blubbery guard to unlock the door...

Lucky there's a Dunkin Donut's 'cross the way, 'cause that helped kill the time.


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