The Lycanthro-Sharks HUNGER for Publicity & Want You to Tell Craig About them... 8/27/13

FLASH - The alien engineered creatures known as LYCANTHRO SHARKS now know we are watching them. They're threatening to expand beyond the bayou, unless we give them the publicity they crave. Please tell 'Craig' about us... That's what they say. Remember, the werewolf part of their brain is partly human. Have pity on these conflicted beings and click on ~> CRAIG ... The alien entity responsible for their existence thanks you.

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The girl who went home for a clean brassiere's name is Betty. It's an old fashioned name, but her mother liked The Flinstones. If she was a boy, they were gonna call her Scooby-Doo, 'cause they (her folks) also liked cartoon talking dogs too. Roger waited downstairs. Mrs. Ratner, the lady who owned the boarding house where Betty lived gave him the fish eye. She said - You pray, son? Maybe if you get down on your knees and squeeze out some Godly words them crazy bastids will go away?...... Roger said that he prayed all the time, because even Albert Einstein believed in an Everlasting Universal Force...... But Mrs. Ratner did not seem too impressed, since her take on the divine didn't stretch much beyond the Earth, so she gave him a judgmental sigh and went back to fixin' her toenails. Roger tried not to look. When Betty came down, she said she couldn't find no clean brassiere, so she brung an old bikini top, from the back a the underwear drawer, instead. He said that was OK. Mrs. Ratner pretended like she didn't hear, but when they left she hocked a real big wad a phlegm in an ash tray. 

Folks in town were getting desperate. 'Lectricity was out. Air conditioning was off. Whole place smelled like a big B.O. & Piss Festival. Flies all over. Dogs goin' crazy. Some a them run off tryin' a join up with the lycanthro-sharks on account they related through the lupine line. But these nasty critters like Nazis. Dogs got chomped up and everything. Smart pups noticed and stayed home to help 'the cause.'

Ladies Auxiliary made bombs out a wadded up, gasoline soaked pantyhose and cans a Aqua Net. Some guy find an old encyclopedia (internet out a reach) wit' article 'bout killin' sharks. But it a kiddie set fill a pictures a dead, cartoon sharks wit' little 'X's' where their eyes should be. They got tongues hangin' out too and three squiggly lines comin' up off their bellies to represent 'stink.' Roger say he take a look at it. 

Big chief a the lycanthro-sharks peek in the window an' see the whole thing. Ten heartbeats later he break a little piece a glass in the back door an' grab one a them ladies from the auxiliary. Do not know what she an auxiliary of, but who care? She gone... crunched up bones and all.

Now they eyein' the old folks' home...

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'ROGER'... THE WEIRD SCIENCE GEEK FROM THE JUNIOR COLLEGE... LYCANTHRO-SHARK... 8/26/13

Please excuse any typos. But the entity (Ok, OK, it's a person) typing this found an old bottle of wine in the refrigerator and drank it because there wasn't any cold soda. Warm soda is no good, 'cause all the dirty bastids 'round here stick their hands in the ice from the ice machine and that makes it into sticky, throw-up ice.

The 'entity' is dizzy. The entity need a CLIFF bar for purely medicinal reasons. So please wait a few minutes while 'the entity' dig one out a the cupboard. (this the time while you waiting) OK, I got one. No wait. No wait. No, not me... The 'entity.' Black, cherry almond... soooo good. (hope it absorb some a the alcohol)

Now we walking down a lane on the campus a the junior college. It look nice, even if most a the buildings assembled from factory made components.... No red bricks... No gray stone... Just stamped out vinyl, cedar shakes. Like what Harvard would a been if them pilgrims shopped at Lowes. And since it a low cost, county, junior college (that a polite way to say 'community college') ain't got no dorms either. You wanna sleep? You go to the library.... which got a really nice collection a vending machines the administration is very proud of.

Place mostly empty. Kids gone. Refugeed out a town on account a them lycanthro-sharks. Campus cops guard all the entrances.... But I don't think them werewolf-sharks got too much 'spect for authority, so that just a bunch a shit. Mall cops done all got 'et,' if that any indication. Town cops mostly squeezed in the back a their Dodge Chargers fartin' in the plastic seats.  (You know you can play songs that way?) 

But one guy workin' in a lab. He givin' a parrot radiation treatments, or tryin' a cook a chicken. It hard to tell.

He the one wit' all them pens in his pocket. He got like six a them. That mean he smart. He a six pen geek... the highest kind and they call him 'Roger.' Government keep record a six pen geeks an' he on it. Got two alien abductions...maybe three. But had diarrhea during last one and they make him go back home. Kick him out at place what sell shitty pizza wit' two dollar an' eighty-nine cent shove down his pants. But he don't care. He buy piece anyway. Guy what sell it say - Hey, buddy, who them ugly bastids brung you here? Roger don't say, 'cause Roger don't know. One alien lady got a pocketbook, but he never look inside it. Roger want a coke too. But guy say- Not from fountain. From a can, 'cause lazy kid what got night shift last night not wash it out real good an' now it like a cockroach swimmin' pool.... Roger say - OK, 'cause he understand biological crap like that. 

Dat how he gone kill them werewolf-sharks. Ask dopey girl at cash register if she wanna go wit' him...ask if she wanna help.... She say - Yeah, but first gotta go home for clean brassiere, since this gone be real adventure an' she say she gonna sweat too much.

Thus is born 'The Resistance.'  Crazy, abnormal shrunken head what live wit' the Old Woman know it. an' he laugh and laugh and laugh.... Old Woman say - If you doan stop, I gonna throw you in the freezer. He doan like cold, bein' from The South Seas and all, so he stop...

But he snicker to hisself just the same...
(more next time)
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SOME MORE FACTS ABOUT THE GHOSTLY TALKATIVE SHRUNKEN HEAD... 8/25/13

Late at night the crickets come out. All over town you can hear them scraping the comb-like plates of their carapaces together to make songs. Tom crickets call to hen crickets. Insect fornication hangs heavy in the warm steamy air. Some kind a little biting things are flying 'round, but I do not know what they are. Them what got air conditioners runs 'em. Them what don't make due with fans..... Bed bug weather... itchy, thick and sweaty. 

Lot a folks refugee up to the highlands. Ain't got no lycanthro-sharks up there. Sneak out in dribs and drabs, maybe one car at a time. Drive real slow so's not to make no noise. Them monsters are tired, like fat bastids at a buffet what ate too much cheap, gummy cheesecake. You can smell 'em sleepin' in the shadows.... ammonia smell.... wolf smell... dog smell actually, like sour milk and stale Doritos. Three of 'em holed up behind the inflatable bed store. Big suckers too... Long and thick and strong. I do not know exactly what breed a shark them God damn werewolves were messin' with. Must a been like huge ones. Tiger sharks, maybe, 'cause guy from the junior college find teeth embedded in some a the remains. And he say they the kind they are. Seed a mean f#!kin' what's-it standin' by a street light. Tall son-a-bitch. Look like eight feet. Big wolf head. Big shark muzzle. Massive neck. Werewolf arms. Shark torso. Werewolf legs. Shark tail. Two loud-mouthed tramp girls seen it slice off a head wit' the tail. Shark tails is sharp... real sharp. Not sure whose head it was, 'cause big bastid chewed it up real good. Didn't eat it, though. But that understandable considerin' the abundance of nourishment they got 'round here. 

Some guys from the Veterans a Foreign Wars Post engage a few in street fights. They got guns. Freaky bastids don't. So now we got Veterans a Foreign Wars body parts all over Calais Street and to be truthful, some a them shark-things now DO got guns. 'Cause you got a remember that the werewolf part a them kind a like regular people, so they know how to shoot, since it like a natural, human instinct.

Folks is scared... real scared. Not all the refugees makes it. Most don't. Shark bastids ain't got no cars yet, 'cause they too big to get in 'em. But out by the football field is an old Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile and some a them evil-eyed bastids been eyein' it real funny. 

Don't know if Wiener Mobile drivin' be like a natural, human instinct though.... But one a the Veterans a Foreign Wars guys what survived them street fights 'spects  it is. Guy from the junior college not talkin'. But he smart. Hell, you can see that from all the pens he got stuck in his pocket. Shirt stained up real good. That a sign. Everybody know that....

Guy wit' the pens name is 'Roger.' Next time we tell you 'bout him.

Oh.... Old Woman's weird, gruesome ghostie, shrunken head been floatin' 'round town too. Sometime it do that when Jimmy Fallon got lousy guests. Shrunken head fussy. Eye level... always eye level.... 'cept when it crotch level. Shrunken head crazy too. It not like one a them regular shrunken heads. It not normal. This one definitely not normal.....

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MORE LYCANTHRO-SHARK TIDBITS~~~> 8/24/13

They try to come into town, the lycanthro-sharks, but it's hard because they stand out. You know, vampires don't have that problem. Neither do plain, old werewolves, 'cause they can always morph back into humans...probably naked humans, but these days that ain't always so strange. And it's not like they can't hide behind a bush or a tombstone. Shark-werewolves can't do that. People start coming over. They ask a lot a questions, like 'What the hell are you?' and 'Wow! Two claspers!' (when referring to the males)... And that's gonna cost them an arm and a leg, at least. Sometimes they wait just outside the revolving door at the hospital and pick 'em off one by one. Or when they come out of FAMOUS DAVE'S BARBECUE ...already all sauced up and everything.  Manager don't like it. He tries to chase 'em away. Got like a tazer gun, but he gotta get real close and he seen what happened to the first manager, so mostly he just yells out the window and screams a lot 'bout how he gonna call the cops. Can you imagine what would happen if they threw one a them lycanthro-sharks in the holding pen? Parents comin' in to pick up their little graffiti bastids won't like it. I can tell you that.

Guess you got the picture. Them hellish crossbreeds is gettin' numerous. Don't know if normal werewolves is still jumpin' on regular shark wimmen, or if we got a stable reproducing hybridized population.

Film crew come in from DISCOVER TV. They got chomped on. 'Nother crew come in from HISTORY2 and you can see the gorey results on You-Tube. Look like @eliroth did it. Schools is closed. Nobody dare come out to a Weight-Watchers' meetin'.

Them what gotta go out take to carryin' opened up canned hams to throw at the sons a bitches, so they can run away. But mostly it just serve as an appetizer, 'cause werewolve-sharks run fast too.

Sheriff do send for help, though. Got a man from The National Aquarium in Baltimore and an' a fifteen year old kid what knows a lot 'bout aliens. Don't know who learned him, but guy on Craig's List say he real good.

Kid's from the high school formin' vigilante groups. But mostly they just set off cherry bombs and hump each other back the Tasty-Freeze, 'cause that like a tradition wit' them.

I gotta stop now, 'cause we on batteries. 'Lectric wires all chomped up. Japanese guy what manage the Beni-Hana say he got a cousin what lease us a Godzilla real cheap, only President say we can't bring no Godzilla in the country, 'cause even a tame one gonna shit all over the place. An' a crazy one gone step on too many cars.

wilkravitz ain't typin' this.... just me Some Guy From The Bayou... signing off...
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not fiction this time...maybe later, but AN IDEA...FAME FACTORY...if you want it, here it is...come and get it...but you better hurry ;cause it's going fast......JUMP IN AND HOLLER

FAME FACTORY
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Study the following example, then click on our COMMENTS and do the same thing. Use HASHTAGS where the example uses them. 

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Name- Jane Doe
Field- writer, scripts, novels, blog
Link- JANEDOE.COM 
Twitter Account- @janedoe
Credits- numerous short stories, film script entitled                       PUDDING AND RHINESTONES 
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A TALKATIVE SHRUNKEN HEAD TELLS HOW LYCANTHRO-SHARK CAME TO BE... 8/20/13

Shrunken head like to watch Drew Carey. He like The Price Is Right, 'cause he got lot in common wiff a plinko chip. Old Woman set him up on the sofa. She prop him up wit' a lot a throw pillows. Don't know how  he see wit' his eyes all sewed shut, but he do. Old Woman feel bad 'cause sometime he cry cause he ain't got no belly. Head feels hungry but can't eat. Ain't got no head bone... no skull. Them what shrunk him took it out. Dat means the teef gone too. And his lips is all pursed up like an old school marm passing judgement. He says things and she (the Old Woman) hears it. 

Says they got people like to play around with us. And I don't know if 'people' is the right word. Maybe they once was people, or neighborly praying mantises, or friendly octopuses, or intelligent dogs what don't pee on no rug... But now they something else. And we just their 'Leggos.' Got ways to snap us together regardless of DNA and who got 'claspers,' and who got a 'cloaca' and who got a hot-cha-cha worthy of a wax museum.

That's how they make them LYCANTHRO-SHARKS. Juveniles did it..... indulged, little snot-noses from other worlds......(wait a minute... I gotta go eat somethin'....... /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/<~~~~~ (me eating.... I'm having copious amounts of cream cheese with savory, rich, salty bits of smoked salmon, spread on two WASSA crisp breads) OK, I'm done. Still want more, but, no.....

Shrunken Head says sasquatch is people mixed with chimps and gorillas. Aliens and Joseph Stalin did it. But it was not a collaboration. They played around separately. Genetic digression not so great, but still...... Come on, you wanna have kids with thumbs on their feet? Giraffe-people didn't work, 'cause they were picked up by the cops for rubber-neckin..... folks' second floor windahs. And them what became camel-people mostly resented being made hunchbacks and havin' real life camel toes and all. Humans is fussy. Look, you think a wolf wanna be a chihuahua? But aliens don't care, 'cause you just sea monkeys. Shrunken head says he half a alien, or was til they cut most all the fancy parts off. Now he jus' a head and a dead, dried up head too. But he one a the only friends the Old Woman got.

Shhh, now we gotta be quiet, 'cause Price is Right gonna SPIN THE WHEEL. Head like that. And we don't wanna make him antsy. Last time he bounce off a sofa and get wedge behind big wooden thing. 

What you think the aliens do to you?... And if they ain't done nuttin'... you one a the rejects...
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GENUINE SHRUNKEN HEAD KNOWS A LOT A WEIRD SHIT..... 8/18/13

Old woman got a friend. It not actually no live human. It a dead human and most a the parts is missin'. It a shrunken head. Old Mistah, brung it to her from New Guinea. He not like a tourist. They made him go there during THE WAR. Not like he could leave if he want to, or say - No thanks. I do not think I really want to get ripped in half by no Japanese machine gun, if you know what I mean...... Not like he could say - Gimme my stuff. I am gone home....Them what did that got they neck cracked at the end of a long rope. And them what did it told their grieving' mamas they was no good and deserved it.

Old Mistah not want a get his neck cracked. He stay and do like they make him. When he get all his legs blowed off they send him home. Tell his mama how brave he be. That what they say to the mamas what get sent back dead kids, or smashed up ones.... 'cause, like what else they gonna do?

He get work at a 'musement park. Dress him up like Humpty Dumpty wit' floppy, doll legs and a big red smile. Think it come from Tropical Red, Number 5 lipstick. It the nineteen forties  and they do shit like that. Old Woman not so old then. She a hootchie cootchie Moon Girl. Sell tickets on a Rocket Ship ride. Got like a sequinned two piece bathing suit with a witch collar and a old, leather, silver painted football helmet on top a her head. Got bug feelers too, but they just real long pipe cleaners.

Humpty Dumpty and Moon Girl fall in love. Captain of the big, ole shootie-chutes (old time term for roller coaster) marry them. He can do that 'cause he a captain and all. Got like a hat and everything. Moon Girl (the Old Woman when she not so old) say they gotta check. Make 'em call the mayor. He say it OK, long as somebody give him one dollah and seventy five cent. Back then they let you do mos' anythin', for one dollah and seventy five cent. That part a 'the old days' was real good.

After they married he give her the shrunken head. She keep it and love it always. When Old Mistah finally shove off (die), it start talkin' to her, which is actually very miraculous, considerin' it got its eyes, ears, malf and nose stitched shut. But real shrunken head got powers. Some make you pregnant. Head don't do nothin'. It just let you get that way. This head don't do that... but it know things and it tell things. She keep it in a bag under the bed. Ev'ry time it wanna tell somethin' it go - psst!...psst!...psst!... hey, lady!... hey, lady!.......... Which is also mostly amazin' considerin' when it alive it only know New Guinea Talk.

That night, after she almost have a heart attack from the noise the ice maker make, she jump in a bed and cover herself up real good... That when it start talkin'..... Tell her 'bout the bayou... them werewold-sharks ... 'Monkey Legs' and a whole lot a shit. 

Sometime I think that head wern't really human..... If you livin' tomorrow and 'sides a come back here, I tell you more.....

Y'all ever hear sound in the night?... What you got under your bed???
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