Wednesday, July 11, 2012

EDITH 'FORESEES' A VAMPIRIC VISITOR

Annie was playin' with her BARBIE'S DREAM HOUSE. Looked like a crib for little, plastic whores, the way she had it all done up. She still wanna go to California. Made Conrad, her brand new, 'bout forty year old, vampire-baby-man go out and boost her a copy a LOS ANGELES MAGAZINE. Seein' as she only seven years old, he gotta help her wit the words. But that California book doan use no big words anyway. Now she know who got the bes' bars an' what it like to see some bastid throw theyself under a train. 


But Edith say she better put that trip off a while. Papa comin' back an' he bringin' company. Annie say - Who he bringin'? Can't bring no mermaid. Can't bring no merman, 'cause we ain't got no baff tub. And I seed how they gotta use a wheelchair from a old, lady, red-haired-singer movie......... Edith know a lot. She a real good Piney-Witchy-Woman, but she doan know who it is...or what it is.


They stayin'  in Baylah's place, up on top a the piano bar. An' she ain't got too many 'resting cubicles.' Actually, they closets, but ain't no vampire gonna say he sleep in a closet. So what they  do is push all the clothes over to the side and curl up on the shoes. Tomas (when he there) doan like it. But Sarah say - Oh, why can't you jus' shet up!? You got a quilt, don't you!?....... Sometime they go sleep in a hotel. He got friends what let him in. But he not like to be no pig about it. Vampires got manners, don't 'chu know...


Baylah still in Atlantic City wit' her rich boyfriend. They waitin' for a big poker tournament. She like poker. I think some a the casino hosts know she vampire, but that ain't nuttin' big to them. Can't comp her wit' no food or nothin' (he eats. she don't), so they give her han'bags. She got all them fancy, disgustin' over-priced, twenty-two-hundred dollar han'bags. Ain't like she gotta put Kotex in 'em or nuthin'........ She used to look jus' like Beyonce, but now Beyonce a little, very much too curve-acious, so now she look like a skinny Beyonce. Not real skinny, but you know what I mean. 


Papa not wanna  come home plastered on a back a no whale (no offense, whales), so he 'rrange for a vampire buddy in Moscow to fly 'em over in a air plane. Wonder what that 'old bones' goomer gonna think 'bout that. Prob'ly gonna piss himself, that is if Neanderthal vampires still can piss themself.


I tellin' you. You gotta keep up ev'ry night, or you gonna miss a lot. Vampire doan sit still for nothin'.


This is Zebulon, your two thousand year old disembodied spirit of a thirteen year old Judean boy what got stoned to death, signing off. I wanna go look through that LOS ANGELES MAGAZINE, if Edith ain't got it all stunk up from the toilet... So, yadda, yadda, yadda...That's all. Good night.


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