Friday, December 21, 2012

50TH BINGO BOY episode 12/21/12

BINGO BOY - post 50

Too-Many-Cookies gotta run home. She take two slices of american cheese for her bagel and she lactose intolerant. That mean she get the milk-shits. Doan wanna stink up no neighbor toilet so she run back across the street to her house. Got all them Target catalogs she like in there anyway. You know she do plan to re-do the place.

Little Chrissie and Ricky run upstairs. Baby in his play pen. He watchin' Kelly Rippa an' that new guy playin' her 'husband' wit' them David Letterman teeth he got. Marge still talkin' a Jimmy. She smilin'. She twistin' the cord. This a old phone an' it still gotta cord. I doan like them, 'cause you could hang a baby wit' it. But Marge ain't got that much money an' it still work and all. Ricky jus' stand there lookin'. Little Chrissie sit on the bed. She wanna hear, but Marge keep pushin' her away. Old folks, or almost old folks look sickening talkin' lovey-dovey like that. Wanna kick 'em in the stomach an' make 'em shut up. Then Marge go - Mwah!.... like she kissin' him and all. Then she go - Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, ok. Bye. Mwah! Mwah!..... an' she hang up. Little Chrissie go - What the hell did that bastid want!?..... She mad, 'cause he run away and leave 'em in a parking lot. But he only do it to get back at 'em for almost killin' him. 'Sides, wanna see what in the next safe deposit box all by himself.

Marge still smilin' and all. She say - He want me to meet him...... Little Chrissie go - Where?..... Marge go - Down the shore. Say he gone send a car for me. I say, 'OK. I be ready tomorrow. Say he wanna talk wit' me. You all invited, but not the first day. Say he not mean a run away from both a you. It jus' happen. He go, 'You know how it is?' I go, 'Uh huh.'... You know, I think he really love me.

So they help her get ready. Little Chrissie wax her up real good, her mustache, her legs and all. Ricky drive 'em to a mall what got a Target AND a Kohl's, 'cause she wanna look real nice. This gone be like a honeymoon, maybe. Buy new underwear, couple twelve ninety nine brassieres. Doan get no dresses, 'cause shore get cold in winter. It nice. People go. Air feel good, but it cold. An' she doan even know what shore he talkin' 'bout. Jersey got a lot a towns. So it gone be like a surprise. Baby hungry. Lucky they by a Chinese buffet. Not that baby gone eat all that stuff. But you do get you money worth.

An' all the while this gone on, TV truck pullin' up to the bingo hall. It doan look like no TV truck. This one plain. It like a secret TV truck made for sneakin up on folks. They gone put Marty on the news. They gone ask him how come he cheat so much? They gone grab Diane an' the other one. I think that what they named. You know. The shills. Place gone be all lit up. Marty gone shove his hand up at that camera. He gone say - Please leave. I have nothing to say...... Muscles gone get fresh wit' TV gal. He gone push her. But she talk real fas'. She talk real tough. She gone shut him up right away. 'Sides, she got her own 'Muscles.' It gone be like Mardi Gras. I doan wanna miss it. But that not happen yet. An' back at the shoppin' center, they still buyin' Marge her 'maybe' trousseau. Little Chrissie get her a nice tube a lipstick too.

Everybody happy Jimmy call. He the one wit' the money. An' now it look like he DO wanna share. Little Chrissie say they gotta buy some clothes for when they go down too. But she wanna go to H&M. Ricky jus' say - Uh huh....'cause he still thinkin' 'bout the money.

It funny how things go. Marge actin' all young an' all. You doan even see that tooth she got missin'. 'Sides, it not up front, so who care.

Baby see a not so little plastic piano he wanna bang on. He like that. It shape like a dinosaur what got piano in its ribs. Cost like thirty dollar, but they so happy they buy that too.

It like a four-day-early Christmas present. Then they fall in a car an' go home.

Marge start singin' a song. She go - Fairy tale can come true. It can happen to you. If you young at heart.

But Little Chrissie turn on the radio. It got 'That What Christmas Mean To Me, My Love.'.... You know, the dum da dum da dump dump da dump song? 

Everybody like that better....


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