Saturday, January 26, 2013

Let The Grand Procession Begin! THE VAMPIRE REVELS 1/27/13

Everything smelled different. The functionaries lit all the torches. They had these special ones, like the wrought iron wall hands in the Jacque Renoir version of Beauty and the Beast. The whole place smelled like a whole lot a musk mixed with the roast beef carvery station at Golden Corral. Vampires love that meaty, bloody smell...that and green apple aroma candles from Target. I don't know where they got so many of them over here in England, but they did. 

Tomas sat us all down. Told us what to expect. Everybody gonna go through a big door... walk down them steps (can't fall. vampires never fall. humans make like a hobby out a it). Edith's real nervous. She got this nice pants suit from Lane Bryant and all. Look like a lady version of a Mad Men suit if it come in size sixteen and a half. Sarah want her to wear this gown she got. Velvet...black velvet...real slimming. Bought it special for Edith at a trunk show off Washington Square. Edith say she like thew pants suit, but Tomas say she gonna wear the velvet thing.

He got like a bad-boy Medici Prince look goin'. Got like a black leather vest thing...silver chain belt. Leotards all black too. Don't think they call 'em that, but I do not know the right word for 'em. This Mister Never-You-Mind. I the disembodied spirit narratin' for y'all tonight. Long time no see. How you all doin'? Tomas' joint come wit' a Eye-talian, Renaissance jock strap. Call it a cod-piece, 'cept you wear it on the outside.... like crotch jewelry  wit' them black sequins and all. Annie say he look like a Romeo-and-Juliet Adam Levine. Sarah say he do too. But he not sure who that is, 'cause you know, he out tom-catin' 'round when The Voice come on. 

The lady one, Sarah, look real mysteriously delicious too. She not old like a lot a them, but she do wanna fit in. That why she dress like Napoleon Bonaparte's sister. You know, that Pauline bitch what always posin' mos' naked in them 'oh-I-ain't-got-no-panties-under-dis-see-through-gown! old time, rich lady, hootchie outfit shit. ...(I know this hard to read. You gotta slide through it two or three times, 'fore you get the same rhythm I got)....

Finally got Edith to put on that black, velvet dress. She look like Morticia, if the Addams mansion next door to a Dairy Queen. I jus' tellin' the truth. You know how it is?

Annie wearin' a flesh color body suit what got green, silk leaves sewed on it. She like Puck. That not a dirty word. It a character from Shakespeare. All the way over, she doan wanna wear no body suit. But Tomas say - No. An' she listen to him, 'cause Papa not here an' she know Tomas gonna tell. 

wilkravitz got one a those skinny-boy- cut black suits, like what Jimmy Fallon wear on TV, wit' a white shirt and skinny black tie. Not the same black, leather bootkins as Tomas, but close enough. They look like a nice family, if nice families was vampires, blogger-guys and Piney-ladies. I can't say what Baylah got on, 'cause she say she gonna seal me in a bottle if I do. So you gotta wait for that one. 

Musicians startin' a play. Tomas say it The Carousel Waltz from the Broadway show, 'cept they do it with back in the day funny pianos and a whole bunch a fucked-up lookin' fiddles. Powdered wigs on they heads look like dead little Frenchie-dogs too. 

Got real dogs wanderin' 'round. Big ones. Nice ones. Harlequin Great Danes.... Irish Wolf Hounds.... One got like a human face, but I doan like to stare. 

Light all low, from them torches, I mean. Whole bunch a au natural functionaries standin' round like statues what got trays full a ice cold vodka. They got other kind a rot gut too, but vodka big wit' this crowd.

And it warm in there. Can't be them big fireplaces. They suck out the warm. Edith say they got lot a magic floatin' 'round this place. Maybe that how they do it?

Ooh! Look! 'King' Rafe just combusted on that big throne he got. Dressed like a Roman emperor... Like battle dress, not them baggy ghost outfits.. An' lemme tell you. This place really special. They do put on quite a show. Got smoky, gray doves flyin' up by them huge rafters..... Black and gold butterflies. Tomas say they gonna have cherubs too, like what we got back in Philadelphia, 'cept we only got four and here they gonna have more.

'Case you doan know, cherub a little sucker (toddler) what got 'accidentally' vampire-ized. Not supposed a happen, but when it do, it very, very, very sad.....

Cattle-people startin' a moan. Guess it slaughter time. Lot a night-folk like to eat 'fore they dance. You know, like pre-gamin' it. 'Cept cocktail weenies they got still movin'...

Come back tomorrow. I tell you more. And another thing, I'm gettin' 'mind tickled' by 'nother vampirino in ole, sweet home Chicago. Click on ALEXIOS and go see what that bot gotta say...

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please, if you're willing, nominate me for a SHORTY AWARD...just tweet this ~~~> I nominate #BLOGGER @wilkravitz for a SHORTY AWARD based on his stories and narratives..... much thanks and I mean it....

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