Tuesday, October 2, 2012

SLIDE 'EM DOWN THE CHUTE.. like being buried alive!

They found Matilda's killer. Bear trap got him. Just some guy lookin' for meat. Don't know how he got the money for them arrows when he ain't got none for tuna fish. Steel tipped shafts cost plenty. But he was yankin' 'em out and re-usin' 'em, so maybe that help? 

Actually, was a Jersey Devil what find him. Leg almost all torn off. Green-head flies big as jumbo lima beans tearin' off squiggles a flesh. He scream like a crazy man 'fore he even see that Jersey Devil thing. But when he do he start cryin' - NO! NO! NO!..... J.D. say - Shut up, you rotten bastid. How come you kill that little girl?! Why you do it!? Why you do it!?

Rotten bastid say - Doan touch me, you demon, you!HELP! HELP! HELP!..... But all that do is let two green-heads fly down his throat. So he coughin' and chokin' and spittin'..... J.D. hefts him up and totes him through the woods. Thick part. Got thorns and plants and bugs and everythin'. Got ticks what look like watermelon seeds.... BIG watermelon seeds. Jersey Devil had a smash his face some jus' so'd he get some rest. You know, jus' cause fella gone be brutally tortured don't mean he gotta suffer unnecessarily. Folks 'round here IS human, you know.... Mostly, anyway. 

Drop him down right outside a that Red Paint house. Daddy-man come out, take one look and say - This the one what done it?..... Jersey Devil nod. Moe-Larry-Curly wanna bite him up real bad, wanna bite up his private property, or whatever you call it. Mister Never-You-Mind been disembodied spirit long time and I do tend to forget the terminology. 

'Bout then other folks gather 'round. Mama-woman start cryin'. She go - Give me back my little girl! Give me back my little girl!... Rotten bastid say - She witch! She demon. I seed her do it! I seed her do it! I seed her fly.... Daddy-man say - You mean like dis?.... An' he rise up in a air and come down real hard right in a middle a Rotten bastid's chest. You know that flat bone what human beans got there?.... It cracked. I heared it. They all heared it. 

Edith come runnin' over from her place. Vampires right behind her. It jus' 'bout purple sky time, so they can be outside and all without burnin' up none. Men folks wanna truss him up and sink him in the pond. Got the breathin' tube all ready. Got the 'duck' tape all ready. Seen 'em put six, big snappers down there. Four like a store-bought hassock, or an ottoman. Malfs like what a gargoyle got. Big... real big. Prob'ly tear off chunks like two pound canned ham. An' it dark down there, so he not gonna see it comin'.

That when Mama-woman speak up. She quiet. She still...like a queen, or maybe like a soldier's wife. She say - I do not want it a be so quick. I do not want it a be easy. 

And them what live in The Pines know 'xactly what she mean. Some a the lady-folk go over, stand by her and start whisperin'. Most a them is God fearin' in they own peculiar way. Rotten bastid know he in a real bad kind a trouble. Badder'n jus' dyin' trouble. This somethin' worse. He start cryin'. He start bashin' his head 'gainst a tree. Blood all drippin'. He start cursin'. Say - I got family! I got friends! They kill you! They kill you! They kill you!... Red Paint man, not the Talk-To-God Man, but like one a his back-up singers, take a vinegar bottle fill a acid and pour it all over his head. Rotten bastid's head, I mean. It not truly powerful acid. Think they use it a cure hides. But still, wit' the blood and all, it gotta sting some. Rotten bastid  thrash all around like a fit-taken man. Two women go over and kick him a little. And you know what they aim for. Stopped all that thrashin'. That's for sure. Curl him up jus' like a baby. Jus' like a baby what waitin' a be born. 

That when they throw blanket over him, wrap him up and drag him to the chute. Folks get all excited. Start whoopin' and clappin'. Chute killin' put on a real good show. 

Don't nobody know how it got there. Some say it part of a old mine, like a air shaft or somethin'. But it might a been there since The Book a Genesis. Who knows. 'Bout two and a half feet across... round... smooth. Open up near where Talk-To-God Man live. Slide down at maybe sixty degree angle. I know them terms 'cause my great uncle pickled dead folks and that a technical callin'. He knowed everythin'. Then, maybe two hundred foot down it stop. But them what get tossed fall little bit more. Fifteen feet, from what I hear, down into sof' wet mud. Can't climb out. Jus' gotta lay there. No food. Jus' mud bugs. Human bean live long time on mud bugs. Doan know how big a chamber it is. Disembodied spirits what got throwed down there never tell me. 

Gone be free show in The Pines ev'ry night now. Ev'ry day too. Rotten bastid gonna scream...gonna beg... gonna curse... gonna cry. Talk-To-God Man say last fella what got throwed live ten months. Some say he live longer, only ain't got strength to yell no more.

They gone be takin' bets.

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