Tuesday, October 2, 2012


They came back from the Pine Barrens. Tomas called a 'familiar' who has a limo service that ferries first-level-high-rollers from Philadelphia to Atlantic City. Had him send over two, regular, black, Lincoln Town Cars so they could ride in comfort. I do not know who sat where and who went in what car, but they got back. Had to make a stop at some Target store that was still open 'cause Annie threw a royal fit for some Honey Boo-Boo shit and wilkravitz had a run in to find it for her. Lunch kit, I think it was. Like that little bastid gonna go to school. Prob'ly eat all the kids in second grade 'fore the tatter tots is done. Say she gonna keep ice cream and frozen yogurt in it. I told you how she eats them... rice puddin' too. Likes the taste and the texture, even if she gotta throw it all up right after.  Ever see them disgustin' sons a bitches what gargle the wine and then spit it out? Well, what she do somethin' like that, only little bit more sick'nin'.... to me, anyway. 

Conrad and Leo ran upstairs. Wanna see how it all came out. Conrad did have to give up a walk-in closet. But 'Mike'...he the contractor, give him a whole lot a built in shelves for all his crappy books and little shitty stuff. He say he a collector. I say he jus' a asshole. Mike (the contractor) is like a 'familiar'... not 'xactly, but close enough to know they vampire. He say Dracula prob'ly turnin' in his grave, he know he got grandkids like this. Tomas jus' give him a look. He hate when human beans make Dracula jokes. Dracula like a cliche to them. Like a head waiter, but wit' a little pervert in him. 

Tomas gotta feed. He say it a lady-dinner this time. And funny thing is she ain't so bad. Yell at her mama ev'ry once in a while. Don't seperate recycle shit from regular crap all a time. Stuff like that. But he had a dream. He had a vision. Happen like that sometimes. Guess it jus' mean her time is up.  Who know? Maybe she pray for it. Retired from a library. That what he say. Cat dead. Mama dead. Plants dead. Now she wanna be dead. He jus' gone help her. Won't hurt her none. An' maybe he gone tickle her a little too. She like that part. 

He fix himself up real nice. Got them trim, fancy, leather bootkins. I hate that word, but it a thing wit' him. Put on nice pants. They jeans, but new ones and real black.... brand new...ain't been washed. Slip into a creamy, white, cotton dress shirt. Mister Never-You-Mind got shirts like that, back before they barbecued me up. Fix his long hair so it hang down all wavy-like. Then he talk Spanish to the mirror. How folks think vampire got no reflection I never know, 'cause they love their reflection. I bet he wanna kiss it. Prob'ly do every once in a while.

Sarah say - Where you goin'? ...... He say - I tol' you. I gonna go kill an ol' white lady........ He white too. But give her a full description so she can keep it straight in her mind. Vampires is real fastidious that way. He claim his journal books got name a ev'ry human bean he done drunk up. I can't read it, 'cause it in all kind a crazy languages. Do know a little French and Spanish from New Orleans, though. But jus' a little. Aramaic and Hebrew part look like whole lot a varicose veins to me.

Now he walk down a street whistlin'. Got hisself a new song. Still like 'Teddy Bears' Picnic,' but new one his 'for now' favorite. It from nineteen twenties and thirties.... 'Have You Ever Seen A Dream Walking? Well I Did'..... That how it go..... Guess he think he the dream. 

Doorman let him go right through. You know how it go. He give him the vampire 'fish-eye.' You ought a see Annie do it when she want milkshake from fat girl at McDonalds. Then he ride up, walk down a hall. It real quiet. Got thick rugs and everythin'. Little dog pee on it, it get suck right in. But they mus' clean it up a whole lot, 'cause it doan smell none. And this like yappy-dog heaven in here. 

Tomas sublimate through the door. She watchin' television... some ol' movie. I think it Jezebel or something. Bette Davis like a thing wit' this one. Got on a baff robe, wit' like a night gown. But no brassiere. I can see that. 

He kneel down behind the chair. She doan even do nothin' and she know he right there. Then he lean forward and French kiss her neck. Go down 'long her shoulder too. Robe loose. He jus' push it away..... She moan. She go - What your name?..... He whisper - me llamo Tomas..... But he say it real Spanish-like. He go TOE-MASS. She like that. Then he reach down in front an' untie the belt. She gasp like ol' lady do.... Go 'wheee!'...like little mouse. He step round in front... stick his arms under robe and lift her up.... She jus' lean 'gainst him and do nothin'. Then he carry her in a bathroom..... pull night gown up over her head. This part actually not too 'romantic,' 'cause she gotta sit all naked on a toilet while he run the water. Gonna give her a baff. Gonna give her a nice, long, real warm baff. Wash her all over. Wash her real good. Tomas like a good baff. Used to take 'em wit' Sylvia and Aura. They mole-people-gals. You can Google 'Vampire Wonderland ... Sylvia and Aura by Billy Kravitz... (that how computer got it) if you wanna know. He gone wash her kitty-cat parts extra special. He gone take off his shirt... maybe all the rest. Who know? This a big thing for her. This her Happy Death Day party. 

After tickle part all done, he gone kiss her all up her neck again. She go - Oh. She go- Ah. Then he break the skin. He real gentle, so it no big thing. 'Bout three hundred fifty heartbeat later she all gone. Blue fire come up. Cremate her real good. Nothin' else burn, though. Jus' her. That vampire magic. you know. He run the water... clean up all the ashes. She got spray under the sink. So that part gone be easy. Then he close the door and go downstairs. Doorman go 'Nighty-night,' when he leave. Tomas walk out, go back home, set in the kitchen and have a little vodka.

Such is life.... in PHILADELPHIA AFTER DARK.


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