Tuesday, September 15, 2015

ONE SPOUSE GOTTA GO WITH THE OTHER WHEN SKIN DOCTOR BUST THEY BOILS... 9/15/15

Ca-Ca's kitchen... The next evening. Four people sit 'round the table under the old 'copper' pull down light fixture -- Ca-Ca, Timothy, Ca-Ca's cousin Mike and an Amy Winehouse wannabe named Cheyanne.

They all talk at once....

Ca-Ca- SHUT UP you asshole idiots and let her talk!

Cheyanne - (cracks her gum) Alls I wanna say is we gotta talk money. I'll do it. I got a drivers license. I ain't got no record and I do not currently do drugs.

Mike - And she wants to go to California...

Cheyanne - That's just part of it, you numb nuts son of a bitch!

Mike - She'll dump you in a minute and run away with the money. You'll be cryin' outside a Fat Burger. You wanna do something smart? Kill her too.

Cheyanne - Why is he in here. Why is he even in here? You know I wanna go to California. I'm gonna be a singer...

Mike - Or give hand jobs...

The two ten year olds snicker.

Ca-Ca - Can't we all just get along?!

They get quiet.

Ca-Ca - What I keep thinkin' is if Mike comes, like as our big brother, he brings his share of the money too. Then we have it all...

Mike - You won't have it 'all.'

Ca-Ca - I don't mean like that. I mean we'll have it all together. Thirty six thousand dollars... all of it in one place.

Cheyanne - Yeah, but he got a record...

They hear a noise in the alley out back.

Cheyanne - What time your parents get home?

Ca-Ca - Not for a while. They gotta bust all the boils in her fat creases...

Mike - And your dad puts up with that?

Ca-Ca - What do you mean?! YES he puts up with it.  They got her naked on a big table, under a big light. He HAS to be there. She's his wife, you dumb shit. And she's MY mother!!

Cheyanne - Won't you miss her? I mean like if we run away.

Ca-Ca doesn't say anything. She thinks for a couple heartbeats and nods.

Timothy - (clears his throat) I think we're gonna need more money. You know how much gas costs? You know how much cheap motels cost? And bed bug stuff? And forty chicken nuggets cost ten dollars.

Nobody says anything...

Timothy - We're gonna spend at least one hundred dollars a day, not counting Tylenol and cold pills and sneakers and jeans and underwear and stuff for her period and deodorant and...

Ca-Ca - Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! We don't just drive around. And she's not gone to California. How the hell does she think we can afford California?! We find a little town up in the mountains and ...

Mike - And What? Buy a cabin? You know how much cabins cost? Jesus Christ! Don't you ever wastch HGTV?!?!

Timothy - This isn't gonna work. We're not gone no where. They're gonna catch us and that's it... And now SHE knows too and either we kill her or I don't know what we're gonna do....

Cheyanne - Nobody gotta kill me. My neighbor, Bob, killed his wife and stuffed her in an old water boiler. Put it out with the trash. Nothing happened and that was fifteen months ago. Said she left him for a dealer in Atlantic City....

Timothy - And how do you know this?

Cheyanne - (shrugs and cracks her gum)

Mike breaks out in a fit of laughing.....

Cheyanne - Yeah, so now maybe Bob gotta kill all a youse!

Mike - (still laughing) Only if we let you out a here. Only if we let you leave.

Ca-Ca - He stuffed her in an old water boiler?

Cheyanne - Yeah, why?

Ca-Ca - Nothin' (looks at Timothy) Maybe we should talk to Bob?...

<cut to black... continued next time>

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