VAMPIRES CAN BE INSECURE TOO, YOU KNOW

Papa is depressed. Not just by what's going on over in Jerusalem. He always thought Jonathon and Sarah were a bit naive. Twentyeight thousand years is a long time. And he's a thinker, don't you know.  Still wrestles with problems from the neolithic period. Did Mother Yaga receive an adequate portion of mammoth haunch? Should he not have culled the evil necromancer of the Fat-Assed-People? Was it just a nervous twitch  (yes, vampires get them too)  that sent the First Speaker over the cliff, or a sly, little intentional shove? Look at him sitting there breathing in that aroma candle. Edith gets them by the carton. You can buy them that way at the Wal-Mart. He's addicted. It's a shame. Sometimes he does sip a little bit of liquor. They can tolerate that. But drink never was his thing. The honey-mead they guzzled at the court of Charlemagne simply nauseated him. And the Romans used to forcefully irrigate the innards of those slaves meant for vampires with skin after skin of new wine. But he never bit any. It just wasn't for him. Used to throw 'em to the eels in the eel ponds (carnivorous, teethy, moray types they were). Couldn't let a gift from the emperor go to waste. Especially if you were a marginal type, like a life-eater.

I guess I caused it, me wilkravitz. I showed him the screen. I showed him our PR number, our Google page ranking. He thought it was high. Not that he bothered with that stuff, but he just assumed. I told you we only pretend that this is fiction. That's why it hurt him. This stuff ie real. They lived it. They remember it. And then to have some digital program give him a value of 1? Well, that's how he saw it.

Aura was here. She's one of the mole people. A pretty girl too. Hardly ever comes up to the surface, but Papa drove into Center City for her. Took her to this nice, little rustic tavern place on Germantown Avenue and everything. Mole people clean up pretty nice. What? You didn't think they had enough fresh water down there? Ain't you never heard of leaky pipes? Put a bucket under a leak. Leave it there a while and you got plenty. Soap too. That old, never used deeper than deep subway system was well stocked. Some of the caved-in restrooms still have toilets that flush. They got store room after store room  filled with blankets and little sterno cans, old spam and everything. Stuffs been there since before the War. I guess they were gonna use the tunnels for bomb shelters or something. And you know what? I don't know if this is the first Aura or the second Aura. I know Johnny-Jump-Up made a ghoul's delight outta somebody down there. Just can't remember who it was.

So she got sent home early. Cab takes her to a bench outside The Four Seasons Hotel. You know, the one with that life-like statue sitting on it? She goes back in the alley and shimmies down this  old forgotten sewer access thing they got. Guess it's the closest she has to a front door.

Shame they had to give us a 1. Don't they know how that hurts people.....vampires too, even. 

NIGHT TIME TRUTHS SHARED BY HUMANS AND VAMPIRES IN A STRANGE DESERT PLACE OF ALCHEMY

A metalic giant eagle was sent from the western shores of the New World to bring the media lord's cousin back home. It was decided he would be better served by his own physicians. Jonathon was in Sarah's room when they came in. The powerful cousin, the media lord, saw him and went in. He spoke. He said - It'll never work, you know........Jonathon looked up. He understood what the man meant........The one from the cityh of the angels went on ----- They're stubborn. I see that look on your face. I know. I know. I'm one too. We're stubborn. People just don't take hints. You gotta hit 'em over the head. Peace? You think they want peace? Yeah, they want peace. But you know what peace means to us? It means a cessation of violence. No more fighting. And whichever side is ahead, wants it even more. .....................So what are  you saying? - said Jonathon. What would you have us do?.................I don't know. Just do like you always do. Kill those unfit for life. Help the worthy live. Does it  surprize you that I know a line like that? What? You think we don't have vampires, excuse me, life-eaters,( I know you like that term better.) in L.A.?

Jonathon sighed and said - I suppose  you do. L.A. eats up lots of lives. (breaks down) But we just wanted it so God Damned much.

The media lord said - So whoever gets what they want in this world?.........Jonathon sniffed back tears and answered - You did...........The influencial human just nodded. He said - How much longer do you think you're gonna be here?.............I don't know - mumbled Jonathon.I don't know.................Well, when you do know, give me a call. I'll send the plane for you. My team knows how to handlle your kind. And it's gotta be better than riding those whales..................Jonathon smiled - You know about that?....................Sure - said the man from L.A.. Look, the 'magic of Hollywood' isn't just up there on the screen. Do you understand what I mean?.................................Jonathon didn't answer. He wanted his life back. He wanted the little brick townhouse in Philadelphia. He even missed the Old Woman who used to run the place for him.. What ever happened to her? But now he had Sarah. And he loved her. She loved him too. He knew that. The lab team said she was healing. They studied every tiny bit of progress. Even a team from the I.D.F. was there trying to figure how they could bottle this  enchanted ability for wounded soldiers and terror victims. They had dozens of shiny, little, glittering vials tucked away in special vaults. Considering how things work today, they'd probably have a synthetic equivilent in no time. Yet it isn't just the blood. There's more to it than that. And where questions of faith are concerned, Jonathon is a true believer.

So they packed up all the necessary chemicals and supplies, wheeled out the Young cousin and left. Jonathon saw them pass by in the hall. He mouthed a silent fare well. The mogul saluted. And that was it.

He kneeled down next to Sarah. Her face looked cool and calm. She was sleeping. Maybe they could have healed her sooner. He would have given more blood. Renate made an offer. But they decided differently. Doctor Franklin (and remember, he's been studying the vampirina, Luna) didn't want to see her 'hardened' into the vampire form so soon. Sarah's humanity was only a year in the past. She's fresh. She's a newborn. And a little humanity isn't necessarily a bad thing for a vampire to have.  Jonnathon agreed. He left it in their hands. He lifted her hand from off the sheet annd kissed it. Her eyelids (yes, she had them back now) fluttered. Then he tenderly tucked her in and left.

Renate met him out on the road. She spoke as they walked toward the Old City. We can't rush them. The humans, I mean. You know that now. You understand. To me it comes natural. I've lived among them since the beginning. I've tasted their essence for more than fourhundred centuries. If you want to comprehend their history, drink from me................You mean like Papa? - said our 'young' Andalucian.................Yes. That is why he sits quietly, back there in your city of brotherly love. He knows. True, he has his passions. He does the wrong thing at times. But a mother knows her son (she took his hand) and her grandson too...........So what do we do about the evil ones, the jinns and all the others? - he said................We fight them - she whispered.

As they progressed along what was once an old caravan route, an automobile passed them. The  windows were rolled down. A song poured out from the radio, or i Pod, or whatever it was. They recognized it,  The Ressurected John Lennon's new Anthem of Hope. Dylan and Islam contributed parts too. The Children's Holy Land Chorus (something new) sounded sweet in the background).

And Jonathon smiled and he began to whistle, as they trod along the ancient, desert road...

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that line up above is supposed to be sand ripples along a desert horizon. sorry. don't have much of an FX budget. there's not much you can do with popsicle sticks and Elmer's Glue on a computer.

keep in touch with us here at http://vampirewonderland.blogspot.com/   and on twitter at http://Twitter.com/wilkravitz  ..... also, take a peek at this worthy site for some great fiction and lots of other stuff too   http://sarafurlongburr.blogspot.com/  .............

Please, if you like my blog-opera tell others. I work so hard for what's really a low amount of traffic....THANK YOU ----- Billy

OUR ANDALICIAN VAMPIRE PONDERS THE FUTURE OF MANKIND

this is Jonathon. I am typing this. Renate brought me  back from The Hunters' Moon Revels. In all my thousand years, I had never seen the like. Does that surprize you? Why? True, I have seen and tasted many things. But that is hoe life is. We know what we know. All the rest is mystery. And I have spoken of Noble vampires who cull only the wicked. And of noxious ones who run like animals, drooling after countless indescriminate victims. That was my world. Other breeds were unknown to me, though now I know.

Are they all vampires? No, not in the truest sense. But you have heard us say that the magic settles differently upon each of us. The elves can fly. So can the cherubs. I cannot. Sometimes, when the power waxes strong within me, I may be able to sublimate through the air in a manner similar to flying. Yet flyinng it is not. Renate can fly. Papa can fly. Other primal onnes can to. Is it a question of time. Will I gain the ability? I don'/t know.

What I do know, now at least, is that enchantment comes in many forms. but didn't you always suspect that? Isn't that why you read tales like this? Remember those times you rode in automobiles as children, falling asleep, nestled in close to your mother? Night trips  through the countryside were the best. You'd rouse and gaze out into the darkness, watching the trees race by. Sometimes glowing eyes peered back from the thickets. Were they animal, or were they just a bit too high for that? And the calls...the night calls. some of them were much like songs. Am I right? See? You know.

I've read about students at a university engaged in experiments aimed at discovering whether or not telekenetic powers truly exist. They'd place a table tennis ball in the middle of a platform, cover it with a lucite box. All this was done very slowly and carefully to minimize air currents. Then they'd take turns standing at a certain coordinate. Each would attempt to attract the ball via brain power alone. What happened was that some of them were successful. So if you don't approve of the term 'magic,' call it something else. But don't pretend you don't know what you know you know. It's all right. The Inquisition (at least in  its formal incarnation) is over now. So go out there. Explore. Inhale. Taste.

Sarah lies in a laboratory not thirty feet away. The Moonves cousin is even closer. They heal. They mend. They tell me she will be well and whole in a fortnight, the human perhaps in ten moons. His wounds were mostly couched in the soul, but mortality hobblles him. So he must wait.

I stand by her bed. I take her hand. I kiss her. Do I still want to change the world. Do I still want to bring peace to my religious homeland? Yes. But I want her safety even more. Perhaps we never should have come here, not for those reasons anyway.

They tell me, the white coated ones I mean, that I am possessed of a certain as yet unidentified subatomic particle. It shows up in the molecules comprising my body. Sarah has it too. We all do. There's not even a name  for it yet. The 'God' gene? That's already taken. By what, I don't know. Maybe one of you   out there can create a name and send it to us? Leave a comment. I know wilkravitz always asks for that. What's that? I think I heard one of you already..... The Prometheus Spark, or was it 'quark'? I don't know.

Lailah and the vampire French knight, Jean-Michel, I mean, have not returned. They're still out there, exploring the sea floor. I'm not sure what manner of enchanted lifeforms inhabit the Mediterranean depths. The whales are there, I know. But merfolk usually dwell out beyond the Pillars of Hercules. I'll ask them what they found when they get back. The chevalier must know something about the region.

And the evil jinns? They continue infesting the ether like a poison. I believe they almost succeeded in bringing death to a royal courier, even in the capital of The American Empire. Odd, I've lived there for centuries, but it still seems more like a royal empire to me. Is that bad? No, I don't think so. People need spectacle after all. Some say Queen, others First Lady. And is The White House not really a palace? Have you seen the imperial guard? No kingly coach ever came close to Air Force One. But I digress.

Maybe Lailah is meant to protect this place? I know her Gallic mentor will stay near her. And I've sensed others like us in the souks as well. I want to go home. If the two boys, if the Israelite and the Ishmaelite are meant to salve the wounds, they will. Let the troubadors sing songs. Let the Resurrected Lennon and Dylan and Islam (once known as Stevens) write their verses. I wish them well. But I want to go home.

And if we can't go now...Let it be soon.

How goes the old hymn? ----- Brighten the corner where you are..........  Catchy.... I like that.

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contact us at http://vampirewonderland.blogspot.com/  ..... or http://Twitter.com/wilkravitz

Wander through other episodes 10/3 10/11 or 10/12 ... You'll learn a lot and discover some interesting links too.  TIP FOR TODAY --- $ocially ambitiou$? ----- Here's a list of the TEN BEST PRIVATE TOWN CLUBS IN THE US.  ...Just know that Philadelphia's are soooo private they never respond to surveys like this......  http://www.worth.com/  then click on the 'live' tab, or search 'ten best town clubs' in that little rectangle up near the top of the page........ Better get those 'rep' ties ready. Ladies are very welcome too.

SENSUAL DANCE AT THE HUNTERS' MOON BALL

Look up at the sky. The moon shines bright. The air feels cool, this autumn night.  And beings great and beings small advance  to dance Hunters' Ball. October is a magic space, when death steps forth to take it's place. A top the rustling, dry-leaf floor. That blankets they who breathe no more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BEHOLD THE FOREST PRIMEVAL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reanate took up our 'young' Jonathon ben Macabi and wrapped  him in her etherial essense, as together they sublimated up through the night time ether and raced off toward the ORIGINAL GARDEN. The  greewswards of Siberia. Chill and vast. Virgin to the woodsman's ax. Untroubled by the human race. A pure and ancient magic place.

Sarah, his soon to be lovely once more, consort rests in capable hands. She and the Moonves cousin slumber under the ministrations of the white coated ones. Lailah walked off with Jean-Michel to explore the Mediterranean depths.

A vampire holiday approaches. Halloween? Eventually, but one comes first, observed since the earliest forever. And honored 'round fires both mortal and not. Come march beneath THE HUNTERS' MOON. Come taste a night that ends too soon. A time when more-than-humans feed perhaps with just a touch of greed.

Look down and see. They all come out, tickling the ground with their feet, as they run. Satyrs and fauns and drinkers of blood, impatient for their darktime fun. Throw off the leaves and moss and skins. Step to the glade. THE DANCE BEGINS!

Sing to the harp. Stomp to the drum. As all Creation starts to hum. Cut into the wrist of one to the right. The left one gets their drink 'fore light. Fly and jump and scratch and bleed. upon the ground to wet the seed of life, which in the Spring will rise, and race to mate with cold March Skies.

And our noble Andalucian vampire took part. His reverent, godly soul gave way to older forces in the hay. Ah, how silvery-bright his well-formed self appeared, as but a bigger elf. The grandmama, Renate played the roll of empress to the glade.

Then Forest-Folk, bigfoot, to you, brought in their cauldrons filled with stew. What's in it? You don't need to know. A bit of lady-flesh or doe. While evil people, they dragged forth, to render into vampire's broth. The centaurs with their rhythmic trot, regaled us with a fine gavote. As centaurinas fair and dark sang love songs to the evening lark.

What you call myth, these folk call life. And mankind had a different wife. Back before the books could talk. But now you walk down other roads and stumble 'neath such heavy loads.

Begrudge us not this Autumn Ball. For soon the snow begins to fall. And 'round the fire we all shall sit, enduring all that winter shit.

How happy Florida wraiths must be, to dance beneath palm trees. Do honey bees live forever in such a place? I'd like to know such blessed grace.

Who am I? We've talked before. A Playwright caught me on the page. Yet Robin knows no other cage. Just taste me in the breeze gone by. A savory bit 'fore pigeons die.

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JONATHON'S SOJOURN WITH NIGHT-FOLK IN THE ENCHANTED FOREST PRIMEVAL

Let him have this little revel.......He'll be back...................................

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But know that the observance of THE HUNTERS' MOON is a very real thing, as old as human memory

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Dip into our world anytime --- http://vampirewonderland.blogspot.com/ ... http://Twitter.com/wilkravitz ...

SCOTOSH BEEDOSH... BEEDOSH BOPOSHT... BOPOSHT SKEEDODHT ----(know what you see... see what's before you....what's before you is true) --------- rare surviving remnant of extreemly early human, or vampire tongue. 

A CONTEMPORARY HUMAN 'MAGIC' CIRCLES THE GLOBE WITH IT'S POWER

please blame me not for dispensing with the niceities of your roman alphabet. I know not which letters merit capitols and which do not.remember, I am but a callow young boy. it is I. it is zebulon. fevers in this holy city confound me. they frighten me. for here is where I died. they stoned me near this very spot. and nearby rest my bones. so if I see the passing story through half closed eyes, hate me not. it is the best this one can do.

the great philadelphia doctor. the one they call franklin, said something in an old vahmpeerigo language. I caught some of the words, for he spoke in an eastern dialect peppered with hebrew, aramaic (essentially a close sister tongue to hebrew) and koine (a simplified greek). Renate stepped right up to the screen. apparently there was some sort of picture transmiting device built into it. the vampire matriarch  and the equally ageless (though by other means) wizard conversed face to face. she turned, motioning for jonathon and lailah to join her. the three 'night folk' listened, as wispy haired doctor franklin explained it all to them. yet I'm sure they knew all along.

then men and women in white coats. like modern day levites (who also wore white) , came forward. they lead the vampires to wheeled beds arranged along the side of the expansive space. each one laid down. the 'almost levites' went to work, attaching them to clear, jelly-like tubes. a series of automatons were rolled in. they used these humming machines to draw blood from our life-eaters.

the injured ones, sarah and the young cousin, reclined on similar resting places. she looked so torn and broken. she babbled like a pathetic fool. her lidless eyes pleading for help. I could not see her legs, or what was left of them, since a white shroud covered that part of her body. the other one, the young cousin, just laid there. his benefactor, the great and powerful man of stories, the master of the magic, talking lantern, the great Moonves stared down from the screen. doctor franklin whispered something and a beautiful woman, quite like a princess of old cathay, came up to lead hgim away.  then the huge rectangle went dark, becoming nothing more than a black mirror reflecting the manic scene before us.

it was decided to siphon tiny droplets of the miraculous elixir into the young cousin in order to preserve his humanity. but sarah was given more. she received full measure. and her skin began to glow. the raw, ragged edges of  her lips and eyelids slowly cooled. and those stationed right by her cot saw new, thin membranes of skin advance across her visual orbs. a female levite peeked beneath the shroud, motioning for other functionaries to move forward. I hovered among them. I saw what they saw. there, sprouting from the still weeping stumps of her once beautiful legs were narrow white stalks. they slowly curled as they advanced from her flesh. and those in attendance smiled. the vampirina, sarah, would recover. her body would be whole once again.

a man came in. he went over to where the lady renate reclined and leaned forward breathing quiet phrases into her ear. she sat up. he disconnected all the strange tools of alchemy. others did the same to jonathon and lailah. moments later they were ushered into a small quiet chamber furnished with fine upholstery in the contemporary manner. aroma candles gave off an autumn-like glow. soft music (chamber music, I think it is called) drifted into the room from discreet, little appurtures. someone combed and brushed renate's lustrous, black hair. jonathon changed into fresh, cool clothes (vampires care little for modesty), though he turned away from lailah, since the weight of her former humanity still pressed down upon her. an old woman, perhaps someone she'd known before, sat down to comfort her.

the three life-drinkers looked at each other. would it work? would the dream come true? could they help bring peace? could they contribute toward the completion of creation? ..... 'Tikkun Olam'......complete the universe......ah yes.......I remember the term...............yet word was spreading.....people were talking about the boys....the young ones....the israeli and the ishmaeli.....some said they had the gift....some said they could heal .....and some had been healed.......

now the holy land holds many tales. some you have heard and some you have not.......this one is far from over.....................BELIEVE


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Please go back and wander through earlier passages. There you will find what you need to know.
And go to our venerable blog list. Review the links. I'm sure you'll find something special there at the bottom of our 10/3 post.

THANK YOU     http://vampirewonderland.blogspot.com/   http://Twitter.com/wilkravitz/

Please comment. Your own link will be seen as well

As  to our policy of highlighting unique and different sites, here's one we know you'll want to explore -- http://elitetitles.co.uk/  yes, for far less than the price of a week at Claridge's you too can be a lord or lady. Tiarras, riding crops and opera gloves extra.

Where ELSE could YOU see VAMPIRES doctors AND major TELEVISION network HEADS working TOGETHER?.....openly, I mean.....

GOT TO STEER YOU TOWARDS A GREAT SITE BEFORE WE GET STARTED. JUST STUMBLED ON IT ACCIDENTALLY...FOR REAL....best entertainment industry news and gossip... Look for http://www.lalahhathaway.com/  it's the 411 for the week or the pink room or sommething like that, but search for it. You'll quickly become addicted. Speaking of addictions.....back to our pixilated creatures.

The guys Moonves sent out finally broke through the brick and stone wall, freeing the recently mutilated vampirina and the network head's young cousin. Both creatures were pulled from the tiny niche, laid on stretchers and spirited away in a large, unmarked, dark as midnight SUV... Real 'Men In Black' stuff. But as they raced through the Jerusalem Hills, another vehicle pulled up right behind them. Renate, Jonathon and the young, nubile 'slightly-more-than-elf' vampirina, Lailah were crowded into the backseat of a 2006 Volvo S60.  Jonathon wanted to ride up front, but the driver (just some dude from Resurrected John Lennon's seventyfirst birthday party... I think he was an old studio musician) had the front seat all crapped up with take out trash from Sbarro Pizza, so they were forced to squeeze in back. Why didn't they just sublimate? Well, they couldn't. You know how vampires can imbibe alcohol, right? They were coming from a party filled with 60's era rockers. So what do you think they were doing there? Drugs don't do anything to them. All they had was the 'Jack.' And Jonathon couldn't wait. Sarah was in trouble (she's the recently mulitated vampirina in the SUV). True, he cannot read her every thought. But certain things just break through. So he grabbed his vampiric 'grandmother' (Renate....She's a Cher look-alike) and their newborn charge, Lailah (think fifteen year old Natalie Portman) and bolted outta there. Yoko was a bit miffed. She likes exotic guests. but when Yusef Islam (the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens) asked her to join him in a medley from Tea For The Tillerman, she was fine, in spirit, if not in voice.

They two vehicle motorcade, accompanied by  armored Humvees chock filled with I.D.F. personnel sped through the desert til they came to a narrow, unmarked turn off. They gunned down the engines and quietly made their way along a private drive, coming to a stop before a flat, modern structure, quite small on the surface, but much more commodious underground. A squadron of ninja-looking functionaries raced out to assist them. The injured vampirina and the Moonves cousin were immediately placed in a sterile, subterranean laboratory. Each attached to banks of cutting edge equipment. The other three enchanted personages unassumingly filed in, finnding places behind the scientific task force. Lailah whispered - My stomach hurts.......Renate shushed her, biting into her own forefinger and giving the newborn a drop or two of her forty thousand year old, restorative blood. It seemed to do the trick. The young one softly burped and was quiet. Jonathon just stood there looking worried and muttering old Sephardic Orthodox prayers.

About two heartbeats later, a huge, flat panel video apparatus crackled and came to life. The white coat brigade went silent. All eyes turned toward the screen. Jonathon gasped, as an immense, wispy haired image of Doctor Franklin ( the quite human, but artificially preserved, 300 plus year old, Founding Father and master of arcane sciences) projected into the room.

Good, good, good - said the old reprobate, - I'm glad to see we have everything we need, especially a significant supply of 'night folk' blood.

Then he focused in on our Andalucian vampirino..... Well, my boy, I assume you're here to help?

Jonathon nodded........ And the venerable matriarch too? - he said.

Renate said something in ancient Vahmpeerigo and the aged, worldly gentleman immediately picked it up...... Then he sniffed, hummed a little tune and proceeded to spin around on his little electric scooter.

Go! Go! Go! - the Doctor said. We don't have time. Get to it! Get to it! Get to it!........

And over his shoulder loomed the figure of the all powerful network president. Moonves leaned in, scowled at those assembled and growled - Don't... lose... my... cousin!

Everyone in the secret desert installation silently nodded, even the vampires. For no one wanted to cross this man.......

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join in our pixilated conversation at http://Twitter.com/wilkravitz/ and don't forget to check out our link list after the 10/3 post. ADIOS AMIGOS!!!.....and please excuse my accidental double consonants...it's a nervous twitch, OK!?!

I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT LES MOONVES JUST GOT MIXED UP IN ALL THIS. WHO KNOWS? MAYBE HE LIKED HIS CAMEO ON ENTOURAGE?

That Young North American Kid, you may remember, had cousins in California. One of 'em is none other than Mister Les Moonves, the uber president of CBS Television Network. He was expecting a New Year's skipe from his little cuz and got kind of worried when he didn't get it. So he called out the under contract, corporate necromancers and had 'em look into things. Well, fortyfive minutes later, after reading the entrails of three, not so enthusiastic, less than willing Chiweenies and making a hell of a mess on his genuine, Brazilian Cherry floors, they come up with something. He says - What? And they tell him all about the stuff going on high in the hills, outside the Old City of Jerusalem.  This does not come as a great shock,  since one of his fiances, back in the day, turned out to be a vampire. That's not why they did not get married. There were other reasons. You're gonna have to Google them, if you wanna know. Cause I don't wanna get involved in that shit. Yes, I am yet another disembodied spirit-narrator, but them Hollywood hot shots got people everywhere. And I do NOT wanna be demoted to a bus station toilet ghost again, OK!?!?

So certain network functionaries get sent over to Tel Aviv on the next 'wings of eagles.' That's what they call 'em sometimes. They can get real biblical. Who knows? Maybe five hundred years from now, this gonna be a new book in the Bible? HEY, MA! IT'S ME! LOOK, I"M HERE! I'M HERE!! And after a thirteen hour flight on some dumb eagle that only got little bags a peanuts and microwaved kosher hotdogs, they swoop down onto the tarmac and fan out to find the naive threatened relative.

When the evil jinn population in the area hears about Moonves' connection to all this, they start to panic. I mean, they know what L.A. media people can do. They seen I Dream of Jeannie. And none of 'em is eager to  play''bitch' to some sweaty, mumbling ass-tro-nut livin' in an old, gypsy-lookin' chianti bottle, some place in South Florida. Palm Beach, or South Beach, or a nice place with an ocean view maybe. But what are the chances of that happening? So they direct three or four human familiars back to the house to do a bit of clean up work. Mesmerized human familiars are the best. Don't have to buy 'em no latex gloves or nothing. Just feed 'em a few juiced up felafel balls and point 'em in the right direstion.

Sarah heard 'em scratchin' away at the stone wall. She tries to holler out to them but her voice is still all dry and raspy. The Young, North American, Moonves Cousin can't do much either, 'cause he so weak from losin' blood and all. Nobody else in there  with 'em 'cept for six, well groomed, shiny cock roaches and they wasn't payin' too much attention, 'cause they busy lapin' up all the left over pee-pee on the floor.

Seein' as this is gonna take a while....You know we write everything in real time? So might as well go look through some of the episodes you may have missed. Or better yet...leave a comment.....Everybody gets to play Cap'n Jack on this Jolly Roger.....If you got any ideas, spit 'em out. ..... And leave a link, 'cause we are not stingy when it comes to publicity......Oh, yeah....one more thing.... If anybody out there in laptop land knows how to turn on  the spell checker, keep it to yourself and mind you own beeswax. We like things just the way they are.

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AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR-----------

Take a moment and browse through the worthwhile links (other people's links) we have posted at the bottom of our 10/3 episode..... Blogs, webs, iPhone numbers and lots more for your edification and enjoyment.....Thank you and as always, feel free to join the pixilated discourse at http://Twitter.com/wilkravitz....... Ya'll come back now....Hear?....... Brought to you by the good folks at http://vampirewonderland.blogspot.com/