Elysium - Official Trailer (HD) Matt Damon ...Watch the unworthy storm the gates of Heaven.. This summer's 'thinker.' See it (trailer down below)... but first see one of 'ours' storm her own divinr barrier... 5/23/13

They took Annie to the Talk-to-God-Man, far toward the back of his cave, just above the narrow mine shaft. Jonathon went with her. Sarah stood right behind. Now, I don't know if the deep woods holy man is a Piney, or a Red Paint, or what. Could be he's mixed. Some claim Red Paint don't breed with other folks. Not 'cause they don't try, but because they can't. A biologist studying the Jersey Pine Barrens during the Great Depression called them the root stock of a new species. He took measurements. He made observations and codified behavior patterns and psychological reactions.  Who knows? All I can tell you is they still like Blue Bonnet margarine and Hellman's mayonnaise. Make a real good sweet potato pie too. But this thing ain't about them. It's about Annie.

Talk-To-God-Man sets in an old, nylon webbed folding chair, like a soccer mom would a used circa nineteen sixty seven. Maybe a little league mom, considering the era. I don't know where they get 'em. but Piney folk sure got a lot a Sterno lamps, 'cause that's what they use to light this place.  Come to think of it, the Mole-Folk livin' in them deep, never used extra Philadelphia subway tunnels use 'em too. Maybe they's all related?  Lot a funny stuff in THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND. I tell you that.  I remember the first line. I remember what they had me type, all those seven hundred and sixty five thousand words ago... 'First of all, we must agree that what comes next is fiction.'..... Yeah, right.  Still I ain't gonna tell you what to think. Not my place to do that. But, you know, gorillas were considered like African yetis up to less than two hundred years ago. Nobody seen 'em. Not up close. Live deep in the woods. Pack trains of traders gone from one African kingdom to another never saw 'em. Heard tales from the pygmies. Just like we hear tales from the Sherpa  and all. Look, you make up your own mind. Now let me get back to Annie...

Old guy has wispy white hair. Got a clean, but tattle-tale gray ' I Won The Big One At Caesar's In Atlantic City' t-shirt. Got an old stack a People Magazine in there too. I don't know what he does with them. He says - Come here, child...... Annie looks at Jonathon. He mouths - It's all right.... and ushers her forward. Sarah nods in encouragement. The skinny, little girl with the stringy hair takes a few steps. She stops, hiccups and smiles. Yeah, vampires can hiccup. It's just a spasm of the diaphragm. And they got the same body parts as you and me. So shut up. Poor, little thing is nervous. That's all. 

Holy man takes her by the arms. She comes closer. He smiles and says - What is it you want, child? Do you know what you want? You have to say it, if you do..... She sniffs and nods.... He goes - Well?... She goes - I don't wanna be no life-eater no more.  I don't wanna be no vampire..... The Talk-To-God man says - Why?.... She shrugs. He chuckles and asks - What would you do, if you could take it off like a coat and throw it away?.... The little think whispers - A lot a stuff.... He goes - Like what?.... She stands there... Sarah goes - Tell him, baby..... Annie says - I want to go to school... and eat hot dogs...  I wanna see zoo animals in the daytime. I wanna see what all they doin' when I'm sleepin.' ..... Do you like the blood? - he said...... I don't know - she whispered. Maybe I just got used to it? That's all. When I was little, before all this shit, excuse me, I used to take bites out a sticks a butter. But I stopped doin' that.... Do you remember your first mother? - he said.... I think so - she whispered. Then she trembled and cried.. Sarah cried too... Is there anything else you want to say? - he asked.... She nodded - I wanna tell jokes. I wanna be on TV. I wanna be on S.N.L.... Saturday Night Live, I think it is. Me and Edith watch it at home, back in Philly, when the other ones is still out. She says I'm Gilly..... The holy man goes - Are you?.... She smiles and shrugs..... Jonathon chuckles..... The holy man goes - Who's Gilly?

But he decides to take the next step. Prayers will be said. Petition will be made. This is the time of Jubilee and sometimes miracles happen. He'll wait with her in The Meadow.  Some of the Pineys and Red Paints will wait with them. They're mortals. They can.  Night will end. The sun will rise... And they will know.

 Could be like, fifteen years from now, the eternal Lorne what's-his-name (what kind a magic he got?) will hear a new girl and maybe Annie will get her wish? That ain't gonna happen tonight. But we gettin' there. We tryin.'

Sometime, when I'm old and gray. And the world turns cold. I will get a thrill just thinking of you. And the way you look tonight...... That's just an old song. But if you had your druthers, which would you be?

The Sterno  pops and sputters. Orange shadows leap and dance.

Remember, we only pretend this is fiction.
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enSOME VAMPIRE PARANORMAL STUFF AND WE FOUND THIS~~> HERE'S WHERE THE FUTURE EARL WHO DIED IN THAT CAR CRACH ON DOWNTON ABBEY WOUND UP... SEE THE MOVIE...and maybe peruse through our vampirino niceties too... 5/22/13

Sarah likes stories like this. She watches every episode of DOWNTON ABBEY endlessly. When the future earl died in the car crash, she cried. But here's where he went. Look down below at the end of this entry. It's there, a wonderful trailer for you to watch and share with your friends. Please be sure to see the film... And now, back to the rustic, Piney settlement of Jubilee. Annie is going to be human again.  That's the plan. Will it work? Probably. The Red Paint and Piney people claim to have accomplished similar things. It all a part of Jubilee, or at least the way they observe that old Biblical practice. The actual method has yet to be decided. They can attempt to transfer the 'burden' (vampirism) onto another, or perhaps dissolve it altogether. The Talk-To-God-Man is still thinking. 

Edith sits on her small, rickety porch, talking to Jonathon and Sarah. The night is warm, a taste of summer evenings yet to come. Mister Edith passes 'round glasses of his latest, homemade intoxicant. Yes, the Scooby-Doo set is still in use. Vampires can tolerate alcohol, you know. Some, in fact, dote on it. Edith says - You know she'll still be immortal, but in a different way. Sure, the flesh gonna fail her, but the good part ain't gone no where. Annie still gonna be Annie, 'cept in a spirit form....... Sarah looks sad. So does Jonathon.... Their Pow-Wow woman friend adds - Oh, but that's not gonna be for a long time.... She takes a sip of the really, quite, fine bourbon-like distillation and savors it. Mister Edith just nods. He don't talk much.

Jonathon says - You don't know how short a life is... a mortal life, I mean. You think you do, but you don't. I still vividly remember midnight supers in Vaux Hall, from the nights when Vaux Hall really WAS Vaux Hall. Did I actually eat? Well, you know how adept I am at making nibbling look like something. We dined in the gardens by torch light. All the rage back then. Turbaned, juvenile, 'Moorish' attendants brought 'round the platters. Peacocks and peahens were a big thing too. They'd wander about like extras in a modern day film. I don't know what they did to stop the squawking.  Some irritated the voice box, if that's the correct term when birds are involved, with a liquid caustic. Cruel? Of course. But the attendants were slaves. And choirboys were castrated to preserve the high notes. What would you expect?....All I mean to say is, I can reference that, like you remember, let's say, twenty years ago. And a human life span is to me as dog's lives are to you. Even less. Perhaps a guinea pig's..... Then he laughed.... Sarah said - Why did you do that?.... He said - Will she still live with us? I assume so. Unless we can find one of her relatives in California. And I don't think that's going to happen. We'll raise her. The best private schools.... Summer homes.... travel... The theater. Edith, you'll still help. Won't you?..... The Piney woman said - Yep..... Mister Edith just kept drinking..... Sarah repeated - But what's so funny? Why did you laugh?..... I was thinking about The Munsters. It's on late at night on TVLand sometimes. A pretty, young girl, named Marilyn, lives with her, shall we say 'strange' relations. (points to Sarah) You Lily. Me Herman...... Edith smacks his arm and says - Oh, it's not gonna be like that! Stop it...... but who knows how it will be?

Right now, Annie is off capering about with Horsey Skeezix and his family. Jersey Devils can be quite hospitable. The big Daddy lifts her up and takes her flying. She loves it, safe in the arms of this faun or satyr-like being. They sail above the Pines and rise toward the sky, singing 'Buffalo gals won't you come out tonight.. come out tonight.. come out tonight.. Buffalo gals won't you come out tonight.. And dance by the light of the moon.... Then they dine on delectable mussels and clams, fresh from the nearby estuaries. Annie, still a vampirina, eats anyway. She can throw up later. 

'Papa' hasn't made his entrance yet. I suppose he's still in Philadelphia. He likes exploring on his own. He likes finding ladies. He likes making love. Does he kill them? Not often. Not too much. But he may resent Annie's defection. You can never tell with him. He walks the narrow, cobbled lanes, without a sound. He sublimates into museums. Sometimes he sits by Prometheus Bound for hours. The guards know him. They pretend not to see. He leaves them gifts... gold coins.... baroque pearls.... blood red rubies. One got a tooth belonging to Hammurabi, but that was a mistake. 

Tell me, if you had the chance, which would you choose, vampire or mortal? Would you miss your family? Would you take them along for the ride? Decisions.. Decisions.. Decisions...

(Sigh) Who am I? I'm just another Piney ghost. Don't pay me no mind...
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now look at that nice movie trailer we told you about. SUMMER IN FEBRUARY, it's called...Classic, English escapism. Good too. Make sure you see it. And if you want to see more of our world, click on this ~> MORE OF THEIR WORLD ... leaving us a COMMENT would be nice too. don't you want everybody to see your link?

A VAMPIRE CHILD FACES A CHOICE..... MORTALITY CAN SOMETIMES BE RESTORED ... 5/21/13

A few hours later, when we returned to the root cellar to sleep and wait out the day, Jonathon took Annie aside. They sat in a corner. She leafed through some old copies of Highlights magazine. Everything shows up in the Pines, but she listened to all he said. Jonathon spoke to her in that almost undetectable vampire way. The other life-eaters knew what was happening, though they pretended not to notice. Conrad 'slept.' Sarah reread a much loved, worn copy of The Age of Innocence, from her nights at the bookshop. Leo was still off on his own, sleeping in deep abandoned mines with comely Piney bed partners. 

Jonathon whispered - You like it here, don't you, Annie?.... She nodded and went - Uh huh... You like the others. The children, I mean. And even Horsey Sleezix - he said..... Annie quietly responded - He's a kid too. Just a different kind..... Jonathon kissed her head.... The Pines made Annie human. They all saw that.

The Spanish vampirino continued - Would you like to see the sunshine? Safely, I mean..... She thought for a moment and shrugged.... Would you like to be a big girl, a teenager and drive cars and go to college? - he said.... She nodded vigorously, then asked - What do you mean, like have babies and brassieres and a husband and all?.... He smiled and nodded too...... She sighed and went - I don't know. But three heartbeats later, looked up into his eyes, searching for the truth.

In rare instances when child life-eaters are involved, the restoration of complete, human mortality can be achieved. Not so much where elferino or elferina types are concerned, nor cherubs too, for that matter. But those in the middle, like Annie, lost in eternal childhood, though smart enough to know things, sometimes are redeemed. 

There's a passage about it in La Ciencia Vampirismo. Jonathon has a copy, though not with him here. But the people of the Jersey Pine Forests have knowledge too, plus their own ethereal capabilities. They believe in the truth of Jubilee, not just the place, but the practice. And Edith, the Piney, housekeeper-helpmate to the vampires, readies an attempt. 'What God has wrought, let no man put asunder.' It comes from that. And occasionally, it works. 

'Repair the universe'..... Make things right..... There's no guarantee. But who knows?

So the beings in the root cellar switch off the tiny 'camping' lamps and settle in. I am the only human among them, yet even I can feel their apprehension and fear. 

- wilkravitz
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en And After You See the Anchorman II trailer, please scroll down a few posts and read something completely unrelated, yet VERY DEAR TO MY HEART

REAL MAGIC IN OLD PLACES click on OLDER POST down at the bottom for something we hope you like even better...thank you.

A REAL MAGICAL OUTPOST DEEP IN THE WOODS BETWEEN PHILADELPHIA AND NEW YORK....... in the settlement of JUBILEE ...5/20/13

And then the air, already damp and misty, began to sparkle, as if strewn with tiny diamonds. We sat there, transfixed by this really quite impressive bit of Pow-Wow magic, a heady brew of Celtic, Gallic, Indian lore, carelessly thrown together at the time of America's beginnings and midwifed by Red Paint holy men. They chanted... a bit of archaic French... some Welsh... Absegami, and other completely unknown dialects, accompanied by six Red Paint women on pre-Revolutionary dulcimers. You may know them as auto-harps. The children threw their hands up and danced. Annie and her two unusual friends joined right in. 

Edith said - This is why we call it 'Jubilee.' Tomas (also known as Jonathon) you know, 'Jubilee' from the Bible?.... And he did know. That spiritual time of truth and rapture when all things are made whole, when slaves are freed and burdens are put down. 

Edith whispered - I know what you're thinking. You want to know if it's the same for night folks too..... He didn't answer at first, but then said - I've attended Jubilees in the past. Berber Jews observed them in Old Spain, exotics even then.  They sang. They danced. The feasted... A time of joy. Slaves went free. Debts forgiven. Property returned. A quaint custom. I wish it were true....... Edith answered - It is. Ordained by God, seven times seven years... a time of reckoning. And answer me this... Do vampires have souls?.... He whispered - Yes, you know that.... She patted his arm and smiled.... But you don't want to go, do you? - she said...... He shook his head.... And the others, Sarah and the rest, I mean, don't know - she added. But the little one might want it. Look at her dancing. She's happy. She claps. She laughs. When do we see her so happy? When do we see her so human. She wants to grow. You know she talks to me.... about what kind of house she'll have... about what kind of husband she wants. And she isn't talking about a night-marriage. not like what you and Sarah have... whatever that is. One night we watched Say Yes To The Dress on television. And she sat there, all curled up against me, wide eyed and quiet. Then she said - That's the kind that I want...... Sure, she knows she's a vampire. She knows that... But I don't think she knows what it means.

Then the dancers all sat down and sang. A few of the women passed out little cakes. Each child got one. There were cups of new wine too. Not strong, but bracing, just the same. Annie took  one and drank. She laughed with all the others and even nibbled a bit of crumbs. A little vampirina can always throw up later. That's what she always does...Jonathon nodded..... She said - I'll tell her there may be a way.

Twelve heartbeats later, the Talk To God man struggled to his feet ( two of the Red Paints helped him) and he led those assembled in a prayer. I think in a Pow-Wow patois.... The Pineys knew it. So did the Red Paints. They all did. Jonathon understood a few of the words from earlier visits. 

And the air took on a crystalline shimmer, as the 'diamonds' disappeared, along with old grudges and past wrongs.  Then the people all drank the wine and said that it was good. 

Jonathon looked at Little Annie. She smiled. He smiled back. Sarah came over and sat down next to him. He kissed her. 

Dawn was still a few hours away, so they went for a walk in the woods...
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IF YOU SAW THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND on STUMBLEUPON, CHECK US OUT ON TWITTER PG LINKS at @wilkravitz... 5/19/13

Before I start channeling them paranoid.. I mean paranormal goomers (it's me, Mister Never You Mind), jus' know you can always slip into THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND by clickin' on ~> wilkravitz' TWITTER account and seein' our link up on top a that page there... two of 'em in fact, 'cause we fancy.

OK... back to THE NEW JERSEY PINE BARRENS>>>

The three weird, juvenile specimens stare at the decomposin' body in the car. Annie goes  'Ewww' a few times, 'cause vampires is very fast-tittie-iss about such things. Pin Head Mel wants a touch it, 'cause he like to touch everything. That why he doan have to go to school no more.  Horsey Skeezix say - You on any specially prescribed supplements or drugs, 'cause there a little pill bottle layin' right next to that exposed femur over there?..... Disgruntled Dead Writer Guy say - Yo, nightmare Alfalfa ('cause he like a Jersey Devil and all) I a ghost. I doan even drink Kool Aid..... Horsey go - No, I mean when you not a ghost. I mean when you still breevin'..... Ghost go - Why you know so much?..... Horsey go - My people are very wise..... Annie nods. She know it true. So ghost tell 'em how he want a sue or kill a guy he know in New York. Not really 'New York' New York. More like Brooklyn, but they not know that. Say the guy stole his idea and with the help of a camp buddy who got a well connected daddy, toined it into a movin' picture show. Got invited to Sundance. Met Goldie Hawn and Eli Roth, punched a cop and everything.  

Annie say - Get me up to New York City. I kill him for you..... Ghost say - How I goan do that? (gestures toward his moldering leavings) I ain't exactly in no position a drive..... She go - Oh..... But they take him back to the root cellar and introduce him to everybody else. Everybody else say 'hi.' Night-folk ain't scared a no ghost, specially after the one they met. An' wilkravitz and him get along real good. They set in a corner whisperin' and all. Seein' as how it so crowded in that root cellar, ghost shrink hisself down to like G.I. Joe doll size. Not one a them cheap, little ones. Like a velvet-hair size, I mean. That make everybody more comfy. 

You see, ghosts is everywhere. Some spooky places make 'em more noticeable. That why they called 'spooky.' But they ooze out the air like dust in a sunbeam.  Doan mean folks don't go to Heaven. But Heaven ain't no jailhouse. It like a big hotel... like a 'finity sized Fountainbleu Hotel in Miami Beach, Florida. You can sleep there an' swim there an' everything. But they do let you exit the premises to see jai-alai  every once in a while. 

An' that writer ghost fella on shaky ground, 'cause if he do bad while walkin' 'round live folks (some a them live).... he gone be transferred to 'the other side.' Death is eternal, not countin' the physical Resurrection, or them what get re-carnie-ated. But addresses over there ain't. I not supposed to tell you that, but I did.  don't tell nobody, 'kay?

Edith settin' on porch up above wit' Mister Edith. It drizzlin'. She like that. Forest ain't but ten steps away. She see me glide by a few times. Says - Howdy do.... I doan answer, jus' slowly tip my hat an' nod.  Mister Edith drinkin' hard cider. Only reason he not drink more is it make him pee too much. They eatin' Lorna Doones too. Piney folk love they shortbread. 

So goes night in the woods... a strange place where 'worlds' collide.

Lemme go see who layin' in the mud...
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