Saturday, May 18, 2013


Before I start channeling them paranoid.. I mean paranormal goomers (it's me, Mister Never You Mind), jus' know you can always slip into THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND by clickin' on ~> wilkravitz' TWITTER account and seein' our link up on top a that page there... two of 'em in fact, 'cause we fancy.


The three weird, juvenile specimens stare at the decomposin' body in the car. Annie goes  'Ewww' a few times, 'cause vampires is very fast-tittie-iss about such things. Pin Head Mel wants a touch it, 'cause he like to touch everything. That why he doan have to go to school no more.  Horsey Skeezix say - You on any specially prescribed supplements or drugs, 'cause there a little pill bottle layin' right next to that exposed femur over there?..... Disgruntled Dead Writer Guy say - Yo, nightmare Alfalfa ('cause he like a Jersey Devil and all) I a ghost. I doan even drink Kool Aid..... Horsey go - No, I mean when you not a ghost. I mean when you still breevin'..... Ghost go - Why you know so much?..... Horsey go - My people are very wise..... Annie nods. She know it true. So ghost tell 'em how he want a sue or kill a guy he know in New York. Not really 'New York' New York. More like Brooklyn, but they not know that. Say the guy stole his idea and with the help of a camp buddy who got a well connected daddy, toined it into a movin' picture show. Got invited to Sundance. Met Goldie Hawn and Eli Roth, punched a cop and everything.  

Annie say - Get me up to New York City. I kill him for you..... Ghost say - How I goan do that? (gestures toward his moldering leavings) I ain't exactly in no position a drive..... She go - Oh..... But they take him back to the root cellar and introduce him to everybody else. Everybody else say 'hi.' Night-folk ain't scared a no ghost, specially after the one they met. An' wilkravitz and him get along real good. They set in a corner whisperin' and all. Seein' as how it so crowded in that root cellar, ghost shrink hisself down to like G.I. Joe doll size. Not one a them cheap, little ones. Like a velvet-hair size, I mean. That make everybody more comfy. 

You see, ghosts is everywhere. Some spooky places make 'em more noticeable. That why they called 'spooky.' But they ooze out the air like dust in a sunbeam.  Doan mean folks don't go to Heaven. But Heaven ain't no jailhouse. It like a big hotel... like a 'finity sized Fountainbleu Hotel in Miami Beach, Florida. You can sleep there an' swim there an' everything. But they do let you exit the premises to see jai-alai  every once in a while. 

An' that writer ghost fella on shaky ground, 'cause if he do bad while walkin' 'round live folks (some a them live).... he gone be transferred to 'the other side.' Death is eternal, not countin' the physical Resurrection, or them what get re-carnie-ated. But addresses over there ain't. I not supposed to tell you that, but I did.  don't tell nobody, 'kay?

Edith settin' on porch up above wit' Mister Edith. It drizzlin'. She like that. Forest ain't but ten steps away. She see me glide by a few times. Says - Howdy do.... I doan answer, jus' slowly tip my hat an' nod.  Mister Edith drinkin' hard cider. Only reason he not drink more is it make him pee too much. They eatin' Lorna Doones too. Piney folk love they shortbread. 

So goes night in the woods... a strange place where 'worlds' collide.

Lemme go see who layin' in the mud...
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