SOME BACK STORY ON THE MER-FOLK AND THEIR 'REQUEST'

Papa was briefed by some guys from Foggy Bottom.  That's headquarters for the state department. It's where Secretary Clinton has her office. They know all about the fishy people (actually 'dolphiny,' but, hey, it's a Chicken of The Sea thing, so we're stuck with it) and it ain't gonna be easy. 


Can't just bring 'em into the country. In this case, the territorial waters, because they are hominids. They are human, after a fashion. And they do have their own form of political organization. Plus, you know how parochial most quasi-educated citizens are. What would they think? We're just gonna let in a whole bunch a totally nude strangers with fish tails? And if them, why not the Mexicans? They got cultural rights to the South West too, you know. What's more, they ain't naked and they got legs.


Right now, the guys in Washington are lined up behind the 'Down Under' solution. Send them all to populate the waters along certain almost empty stretches of  Western Australian coastline. Lots a fish. Nice climate. Potential income. What tourist wouldn't LOVE swimming with the Mer-folk? You think swimming with the dolphins is so special? The hell with  dolphins. Who needs 'em?


Luna says they got the same number of genes and chromosomes as we do. So like what... we gotta  change the marriage laws again? And what  about the kids? What are they gonna  look like? Could they compete in the Olympics? Would it be legal? Winter Games would be out. Hockey'd pose problems...skiing too, I guess. Would they be 'resident aliens,' or what? We're not gonna just surrender prime riparian territories.. Think of the potential mineral rights. Do they even use money? How would they carry it? I'm guessing the average cloaca can only hold so much.


Preliminary word from their 'Great Speaker' eighty-sixes the Aussie deal. Ain't their homeland. No ancestral ties to the place. They want to reclaim old ceremonial centers. I told you about those massive undersea structures near The Bahamas, didn't I? It's like a city. It's 'their' city. Oh, and there's another one off  Avalon, New Jersey we ain't even 'discovered yet. Think what's gonna happen the first time some pinky ring bastid in a forty two foot sedan cruiser runs over a nice, little fishy-boy. Who's laws would apply? 


And we can't just let 'em in illegally, like an invasive species, 'cause you know SWAMP PEOPLE'd be out there in five minutes harpoonin' the shit outta them. Mermaid ass steaks...two hundred bucks a pound. 


Look, this ain't no joke. Apparently, they are not without some muscle. Fact-finders indicate they CAN effect sea levels via judicial changes to undersea currents. We've seen the ancient dams. The whole state of Florida could be Ariel-central in three months..... And you know Disney ain't gonna stand for that.


Maybe Canada wants 'em?


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A LITTLE VAMPIRE TRAVELING MUSIC PLEASE

Done. It was settled. The mermaid-hag goes free. Doctor Franklin was convinced he couldn't learn anymore from her. She was crazy. She was old. She had to go home. We can't tell you exactly how old, because we don't know. Some sea captain... a whaling era sea captain... sold her to the Anti- Enchantment-Bureau way back when it was still called The Junto. This was like in early Federalist times. You know, lots of blinding, white neck linen and Beau Brummel top hats. If you need a visual, Google the Cholly Knickerbocker guy from The New Yorker. 


Medics seem to think mer-folk age like whales... and some of them are believed to be more than two hundred years old. Not much, compared to vampires and all, but, hey, I'll take it. Just in case you're wondering, it's me, wilkravitz. They got me back doing channeling duty. Didn't get no new sneakers yet. I'll let you know when and if....


So it's gonna be Papa, Luna and the crazy, old, cackling sea-hag. I think they decided on Luna because she was originally some kind of physician and they always send a saw-bones on these things. Remember STAR TREK?


A helicopter's takin' 'em out to the western edge of The Gulf Stream. Papa wanted to sublimate, but the sea-hag opted for the 'sky ride,' as she called it and after all she's been through, they gave it to her.  It's one of those big choppers, like the army has, 'cept ain't no army guys flying it. This is strictly a Doctor Franklin (and that means Anti-Enchantment-Bureau) joint. But they wear mirrored sunglasses too. And some of 'em talk with these phony, real clipped, 'South'ron' accents, so what's the diff? Like army guys dipped in a little bit a Hogwarts sauce. That's what they are.


Got a little tank for the old mermaid. Has to have a lid so the water don't go sloshing all around. Couldn't get her no raw salmon. Not enough time. So some guy ran out to the Acme (Albertson's to non-Philly people) and grabbed a whole lot a Mrs. Paul's crap. (n0, I DON'T mean that it's actual crap. We just talk that way, so deal with it. I eat it too. So shut your mouth. OK?). She don't like the bread crumb part, but the stuff 'under' is all right.


Papa and Luna are already naked. They have to be naked when they hit the water, in order to meld with the whales. And did I tell you they once had a 'thing' going? I know I must have. Look, if you're a regular reader, you know all that. Sarah almost bit off a titty. But now she don't care. She's the 'wife.'  This one (Luna) is just the slut. That's how it is. Like in the British aristocracy.


Pilot takes 'em down real low. WHUMP-WHUMP-WHUMP from the blades echos up from the surf....waves fan out in concentric circles. Wind blowin'. Moon shinin'. Gulls screamin' (they feed out here.) Whales singin'. Papa takes Luna's hand. He leans in and kisses her, as they jump. Then about eight mirrored sunglasses guys tip the tank and send the loony sea-hag back where she belongs.  Oh, she was SO happy, clappin' her hands and singin' Popeye the Sailor..... Funny thing is, when she hit the water she got younger. Not that she looked any better...Just acted it. Started beatin' her ratty old fluke up and down, just like a dolphin. Papa let her go. She knows the way. But he did wrap her up in a real tight hoo-doo (magic barrier) to keep away the sharks and orcas.


'Bout forty eight heartbeats later, he sees the whale.... real big one, like a fin, or a great blue... something like that. Rises up from the depths like a giant ghost, or maybe like a Jules Verne submarine. You know they can be more than one hundred feet long? 'Bout fourteen times longer than Papa. If  you were a whale and say like six feet tall, them little vampires would be just under five and a quarter inches.... like a salt shaker, or something like that..... Like the native guy in King Kong The Original's mouth...... So instinctively Luna tenses up. But Papa starts rubbin' her flanks and ticklin' her thighs to make her relax. Then he wraps her in his arms real tight and they sink down onto the great, broad back of this prince of the sea. Ten heartbeats later they stretch out flat, belly to the beast, as the mucus starts oozing from specialized pours, enveloping them in a thick, heavy, protective cocoon...


We couldn't travel like that. We'd die. But vampires can. It's how they cross the sea. It's how they've always crossed the sea.


You know the Story 'Bout Jonah? Well, in reality it was something like this...


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THIS WHAT OUR FAVORITE VAMPIRINA CAN DO

I cannot do the channeling of vampiric communications this evening due to unforeseen circumstances. Will explain tomorrow. Til then, you might want to look down and click on the post right under this... The one called ~~~SOMETIME IT AIN'T THE CAT WHAT GOT YOUR TONGUE. I know a lot of us take Sarah for granted, but take a look. See how she do when she get mad....


Oh, and one more thing... The crazy, old mermaid-hag wanna go home and Doctor Franklin say might let her.....(more on EL MUNDO MERMANIA tomorrow)


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vampire wonderland: SOMETIMES IT AIN'T THE CAT WHAT GOT YOUR TONGUE......

vampire wonderland: SOMETIMES IT AIN'T THE CAT WHAT GOT YOUR TONGUE......: Sarah strolled through the semi-arid parklands, so like the California she was used to. Jonathon's forebearers had tombs there. He showed he...

MERMANI WEAPONS --- Strategic Maneuvers AVAILABLE to those We term Mermaids and Mermen

To those who have been following our postings for the last few nights.... Please know that the Mermani are NOT completely defenseless. They are an intelligent breed with EXTENSIVE knowledge of undersea currents and conditions. 


Ancient and medieval records indicate a certain measure of what we would call 'technological know-how' as well. It's believed they produced a type of underwater concrete used to construct huge buildings and vast, marine, civic complexes. Remnants of these polities are found off the coast of The Bahamas and near the Japanese island of Okinawa. Early Celtic peoples in The British Isles spoke of Hi-Brasil, a quasi-mythological place off to the west, beyond the tip of Cornwall. Similar references dot the records of Bronze Age peoples from Malta, The Levant and Iberia. Meso-American civilizations were familiar with Mermani settlements off the coast of Yucatan. 


Certain historians maintain the Herodian Dynasty in Roman Era Judea got the recipe for aqueous concrete (used to build the imposing port of Caesaria Maritima) from an Eastern Mediterranean Mer-folk chieftan known as 'Yam Seran' or sea prince.


The two surviving strains of the genus 'homo' remained in more or less close contact til the very early years of the nineteenth century, when a variety of changing circumstances forced Mer-folk to retreat from the coastal seas, settling in deep water communities along the Mid Atlantic Ridge, a huge, Andes-like, undersea mountain range stretching from the Southern tip of Greenland to the Antarctic Peninsula. (10,000 miles).


This vast, natural barrier, via certain mountain passes, facilitates the blending of warm and cold water, resulting in the formation of climate-shaping currents, such as The Gulf Stream.


Military Intelligence indicates Mermani have the capability to alter these currents through the use of dam-like gates and sea-bottom tunnels. Needless to say, their mastery of 'wet-set' concrete makes it possible.  Slight alterations of naturally occurring  flow patters could significantly alter global weather. In fact, some consider global warming to be a Mermani plot which will enable them to re-establish themselves on the soon-to-be flooded coastal plains.


Our negotiations with these people is of the utmost importance. Ambassadorial protocols are being formulated and recorded right now.


Which vampire, or vampires, do you think will make the trip? Remember, they need no oxygen. breathing is just a habit, not a necessity. Both groups (Vampiri and Mermani have Cetani (whale) alliances. Each group is well versed in the lore of the other.


Vampires as enemies? I think not. We should thank God we have them. 


please read the previous two or three postings for clarification of this report.
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A NEW VOICE...AN OLD ALLY OF THE VAMPIRES, SPEAKS

I am a leader among my people. We have tasted the presence of those you call vampiri since the time before time. I am of the saline water...a swimmer, not a walker. I am mermani. My language is unique. Dry-folk cannot reproduce it. We sing to the cetani (the whales) and they sing to us. I send these thoughts to you via a conduit, the 'wise woman' known as Edith. It is she who 'types' these words upon the magical device.


My kind have seen your kind, primarily in vampiri form, since the time when water turned to stone, known to you as 'ice ages.' We saw them as they crossed the sea upon the backs of whales. 


Now, we seek parlance with them. I know how you assemble yourselves. I know of your nations. Mermani have similar customs..... and we want to preserve them. 
Make room for us. Accept us. We want to come back...not to the land. That is not our place. We want to reclaim the frontiers...those shallow places where scallops grow...and oysters...and prawns. We want to see the sun. The depths are cold and dark and hard. A place as barren as the moon.


Let us swim through coastal waters. Let our children see your children. For we are of this planet too.


Send your scroll bearers (ambassadors). Send your vampiri emissaries. We welcome them. We will talk to them. The one you call 'Papa' is known here. He visits with his friends. He has seen the Hidden City. 


I do not know who your Great Speakers will chose. I do not know if they will send the one known as 'Papa.' But he would be a good choice. Send him...or perhaps his son.....


We cannot threaten you. Our weapons have no edge. We need your help and understanding.


Do not reject us.... Please, do not reject us. 


May He Who made the Universe make us, in Spirit, one.


thus says a GREAT SPEAKER of THE MERMANI


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AN EXPLANATION OF MER-FOLK EVOLUTION

this is an addendum to our narrative. we will attempt to provide a thumbnail sketch focusing on  the biological development of Homo-aquaticus.


Two million years ago the genus called homo consisted of various species. there was australopithecus, homo-erectus, certain little known 'dwarf' varieties as well as types yet undiscovered.


each strain was shaped by their environment. grassland specimens grew long legs, the better to lope through the dense foliage. northern clans developed thick, robust torsos in order to conserve heat.


some isolated populations inhabited coastal estuaries, existing on a diet of bivalves and arthropods. in many ways their lives paralleled that of early cetaceans (whales). subsequent generations became even more suited to their environment. tailbones reappeared, continuing to lengthen and gain strength as the years passed. primitive examples used the appendage in a rather reptilian manner, much like modern day alligators. legs degenerated and ultimately vanished, although some contemporary examples still bear vestigial leg bones buried deep in the muscular hind sections.


after a time, nature produced a creature rather like a marine centaur. at first, the skin on the lower parts favored that found on dolphins and porpoises, however a fortuitous mutation, thought to have originated among a 'bottleneck' population scattered among what became the Indonesian Islands, produced a series of atavistic traits unseen since the age of amphibians, providing those so endowed with the ability to absorb oxygen through their skins. thus the aquatic form became truly marine. lungs continued to function, but were clearly secondary to dermal respiration.


fossil evidence place this transition at approximately 750,000 years before the present. since then the species known as homo-aquaticus (though homo-marinarus would be more like it) has continued to evolve and develop. Early admixtures of Cro-Magnon blood are found in their DNA record as well.


at one time populations frequented wide spread coastal areas scattered around the tropical and subtropical regions of our planet. but terrestrial human incursions forced these groups to abandon the shallows for the depths. 


today they are found chiefly along the Mid Atlantic Ridge and certain trenches in the Western Pacific. 


now you know.....


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