Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Papa was briefed by some guys from Foggy Bottom.  That's headquarters for the state department. It's where Secretary Clinton has her office. They know all about the fishy people (actually 'dolphiny,' but, hey, it's a Chicken of The Sea thing, so we're stuck with it) and it ain't gonna be easy. 

Can't just bring 'em into the country. In this case, the territorial waters, because they are hominids. They are human, after a fashion. And they do have their own form of political organization. Plus, you know how parochial most quasi-educated citizens are. What would they think? We're just gonna let in a whole bunch a totally nude strangers with fish tails? And if them, why not the Mexicans? They got cultural rights to the South West too, you know. What's more, they ain't naked and they got legs.

Right now, the guys in Washington are lined up behind the 'Down Under' solution. Send them all to populate the waters along certain almost empty stretches of  Western Australian coastline. Lots a fish. Nice climate. Potential income. What tourist wouldn't LOVE swimming with the Mer-folk? You think swimming with the dolphins is so special? The hell with  dolphins. Who needs 'em?

Luna says they got the same number of genes and chromosomes as we do. So like what... we gotta  change the marriage laws again? And what  about the kids? What are they gonna  look like? Could they compete in the Olympics? Would it be legal? Winter Games would be out. Hockey'd pose problems...skiing too, I guess. Would they be 'resident aliens,' or what? We're not gonna just surrender prime riparian territories.. Think of the potential mineral rights. Do they even use money? How would they carry it? I'm guessing the average cloaca can only hold so much.

Preliminary word from their 'Great Speaker' eighty-sixes the Aussie deal. Ain't their homeland. No ancestral ties to the place. They want to reclaim old ceremonial centers. I told you about those massive undersea structures near The Bahamas, didn't I? It's like a city. It's 'their' city. Oh, and there's another one off  Avalon, New Jersey we ain't even 'discovered yet. Think what's gonna happen the first time some pinky ring bastid in a forty two foot sedan cruiser runs over a nice, little fishy-boy. Who's laws would apply? 

And we can't just let 'em in illegally, like an invasive species, 'cause you know SWAMP PEOPLE'd be out there in five minutes harpoonin' the shit outta them. Mermaid ass steaks...two hundred bucks a pound. 

Look, this ain't no joke. Apparently, they are not without some muscle. Fact-finders indicate they CAN effect sea levels via judicial changes to undersea currents. We've seen the ancient dams. The whole state of Florida could be Ariel-central in three months..... And you know Disney ain't gonna stand for that.

Maybe Canada wants 'em?


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