Monday, January 27, 2014


They took him into one of the laboratories. The 'new' Grigori Usipov, I mean. Strapped him down to a table and infused him with a relatively small amount of vampire blood. Got it fresh from Tomas. He just sat in what looked like a big dentist's chair all hooked up to like a blood donation set-up. Think he was sleeping. Eyes were closed. Had ear buds in. you know how some of the sound always leaks out from ear buds? As least enough for a disembodied, spirit, narrator like me to hear. Just Give Me A Reason by Pink, I think it was. Tomas likes her. Met her once at Baylah's rich, financier, boyfriend's house at the shore. I don't think she knew they were vampires (Tomas and Baylah). Probably thought they were reformed druggies who still thought like druggies. You know how them night-folk act? They look at each other. They make eyes. They laugh. Sometime when they nervous they shake their knees real fast. Or when they moving through a crowd and nobody wanna let 'em go buy, gotta remember real hard they vampires and not people, so they don't start sublimating through living bodies and ripping them all to shreds. That happened once on The Titanic, let me tell you. People did see. People did notice, but them what did went gug-gug-gug down to the bottom of the cold, dark sea, so who cares? 

What was I telling you? Oh yeah, Tomas gettin' his blood pumped into that deaf, blind, temporarily human, vampire-oligarch, Russian guy. Franklin had a theory. Don't want a make him into no vampire. Wants him human. Wants him mortal. But it don't work. They been dripping vampire blood into him for hours. Let Tomas more or less kill some prisoner the cops sent over to fortify him. He on death row anyway, so this like an interestin', little trip. Let him go see all the freaks first. Prisoner-what-about-to-be-killed throw herring to the sea-hag... Say 'hi' to Jersey Devil kid... Look at Sasquatch for a while. Then when he say he gotta go pee, they let him go. Got a clean, little tiled toilet near where they keep the freaks, so it ain't no big thing. 

When he 'bout done, Tomas sublimate through door. Switch out the light. Death row guy go - Shit!... He not know what gone on. Tomas grab his head, twist it 'round. That make blood vessel stick out. Vampire like a good, hot vein. That like steak. And he not got real big teeth. Not like no wolf , or them Draculas they got in them Hammer films. Tomas discrete vampire. Most 'noble' ones we got 'round here like that. Our vampires got fangs... little sharp, keen, lethal fangs. Cut real quick. Like needles they is. Death row guy go - Uh oh... and then he dead.  Two, three heartbeats later he combust into 'cold' blue flame. Cleanin' lady go in to swab up all the grease and ashes. She use that orange oil stuff. Clean up vampire leavin's real good. Don't say so on the bottle, but it do. Them what work with night-folk know that.

But vampire mo-jo not work this time. Grigori Usipov new body still blind... still deaf. When it not sleepin' (they keeps it drugged up), it cry... it fidget... maybe let go with a fart every once in a while.... smack its lips...fists all balled up. Franklin feel bad, 'cause he think it gonna work. Went all the way to Russia to make it so. Remind me to tell what all night-creeps and ghosts Zak Bagans (yeah, you can click on that) see when he pull in a that eerie, isolated hell-hole. But that another story an' he gotta sign off on it. Nobody really know what night-creep is. It not a ghost... Not a ghoul. It a whats-it. Like a stand by foot a bed when folks sleepin' or sit on they chest. Bite toe off every once in a while. Suck eye ball out. You know what I mean.

Tomas wake up, look around an' say - Damn, why you not jus' lemme change him?..... An' they know he right. But nobody want another vampire. America and Canada already got too many night-folk. Can't ride no bus without mushin' up against one. An' some don't even say ''scuse me.'.....

But just before hoagies get delivered (bureau got good commissary, but sometime they like a call out) they let him do it. Blind-deaf spirit a Grigori Usipov know what goin' on. He know what happenin' to him and he laugh and laugh and laugh. When he gotta drink all that blood outta Tomas he do it. He like a veteran. Don't gotta tell that fella.

Now I not know what kind vampire he gone be second go 'round, 'cause magic settle different every time. Remember, it ain't bein' no vampire. It havin' the magic... the 'resonance' like they call it.

This Mister Never you Mind talkin'. But them what been with us a while know that. I the disembodied, spirit narrator. I like a featured player 'round here. Howdy do folks. Nice to see you....... Now, what I gonna tell you 'bout that genetic engineering shit? It gettin' late, so I just do the basics and tie it all up later. But they got treatments. They got genes from turtles and whales. From them what don't know when to die.  Big whales, great blues and all, sperm whales, sea turtles, giant tortoise... You know, they go more'n two hundred years.
Ketched one swimmin' 'round California what got two hundred year old slug wedged in it. Figure some sailor on the H.M.S. Bounty shot it. That what they say. Got therapy. Got treatments. Got everything. Got serum wit' whale shit in it. Not the real shit. I jus' say that. I mean the genes. Got turtle genes too. Genes what don't know when to die. Shoot it into people's asses. Not with guns. Wit' needles. Gun'd be funny though. 'Quit twitchin'. I gotta pop this in a your ass!' Can you imagine if a doctor, or a nurse say that?! I do not think the government would like that. 

Government don't mind 'em sellin' it to rich folks though. Got spas out west, near Aspen and Lake Tahoe. You can get it.... if you can pay. Why you think they got so many ninety eight year old white lady dowagers.? And the wrinkled up mens too? Why you think all kind a hundred year old rich folk eatin' 'early bird specials' down Florida? And them what real rich get somethin' even better. I would tell you, but I feared what they do to spirit folk, 'cause I jus' a kind a energy an' they got ways a controllin' that. 

So lemme stop now... 'cause I already said enough.


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