The Book of Edith.... sometimes it's my turn

OK, so you know I got the crazy eye (the inner one, I mean) and can read minds and see stuff. Well, my brain (I think it's my brain) is gettin' all clogged up with all this crap and I gotta make room for more. So here goes..... 1) A girl in New Jersey better keep her mouth shut if she knows what I mean, 'cause her friend ain't exactly her friend. And if she likes workin' in that salon she better look for a new lunch partner. That, or eat a lot of dry, crunchy salads - takes a lot of chewin', less time for talkin'.......2) A certain 'you know who'  in Bucks County, Pennsylvania had better get a plumber in to check out that hall bathroom, 'cause it's about to blow a gusher and stain up all that new, 'paper bag' colored paint in the dining room.....3) To the guy with the new Silverado ----- she knows and she is sending the pictures to your mother!.......4) To the folks in # 608 --- When the kid next door turns on its little sister's 'tickle me elmo' it does something to the plate she got in her head and she can see right thru to your master bathroom. But don't worry too much, 'cause she runnin' outta batteries and her mom don't wanna buy her none. So that should end things, unless the little bastid goes rougue and starts boostin' 'em from the Rite-Aid. 5) The next four people who recruit four new readers for this blog are gonna win a new volkswagon Jetta , either that, or I got my telepathic abilities all screwed up with somebody's tee-bo of Drew Carey or somethin'..... Man does that make my scalp itch!