ZEBULON TELLS WHAT HE KNOWS

Johnny Jump Up rarely crawled into the same hole twice. Each dawn, as the light took over, he squeezed into a different, moldering crevase. Bugs were his friends. Rats were his cousins. You might have walked right by him. They got old, mellow vignettes all over this town. An atmospheric bit of decay here. A crumbling stone foundation there. And he has a home. Considering the trim dimensions of his body, house hunting is never a problem. You know those crawl spaces passing for attics you see everywhere around here? He loves those. I cannot tell you how many times he's slept right above the bedroom ceilings of row houses and converted pied a terres. Makes you wonder what them little noises are. Settling? Could be. But it could also be something else. Now I can't tell you who Johnny Boy is, his 'soul' I mean. He, or it, keeps that a secret. Look, you know disembodied spirits are all over the place. I am one, but you trust me. Zebulon is all right. And Papa can send his soul out wherever he wants. He just got back from those mantaray people on Europa. Remember his sojourn as 'The Shaky Hand Man'? Well, I figure that boney one ain't no different. Only he ain't exactly disembodied no more. He got his hidey-hole. He got his flesh bag. A little emmaciated, but a home is a home. I don't know? That's tonight's theory. Other nights I feel that 'beloved son' is still in there. Could be wedged in with another spirit, or he could be alone, or he could be somewhere else. I just do not know. Baylah has her ideas. She looked into it too. She checked up. On the third day after this premature burial thing all started, they hung a man over in the hangin' yard. That's where City Hall Courtyard rests today. You know that twenty foot bronze compass rose they got sunk into the granite paving? That's the original 'X marks the spot.' That's where the gallows stood. The center of the X is right under where the trapdoor used to be. Yeah, a lot of dancin went on over there. But on this 'third day' we're talkin' about, they hung a bad one, a baby eater. That's what they called him. He must a been crazy, or just really, really hungry, but he made good, hot suppers outta four little, fat suckers.. It was in all the papers. They even made a play about it. Ran over on Walnut Street, behind the gas lights for months. Ladies used to scream. Some of 'em would faint. A few pissed themselves. But with all the extra skirts and poofy stuff they wore, who knew? I guess the 'colored girl' or the Irish one they had back home knew when she had to steam the stink out of it , but that didn't count. So we are working on this. Baylah is collaborating with Edith. The Red Paints ain't doin' nothin'. They just chant and shuffle 'round a little. I don't know. Maybe they work with spirits I ain't met yet?

Marianne and Celeste (the two elf girls) have the little ones out for a 'fly.' It's real late. And they got lotsa trees 'round here. Besides, any folks seein' them gonna chalk it up to one too many martinis. A lot a genteel drinkin' goes on around here, don't you know. What  did you think? Did you think all them carefully dusted, glittering bottles of fancy hallucenogenic beverages they got arranged in panelled bars 'round here were knick-knacks?? Hell no. They got ceramic porcelain dogs for that. Papa ain't filmin' no more. That was 'a wrap.' I figure you should be able to see that nasty piece of business on the web in about two weeks. He won't care. Human stuff is just monkey business to him. But he did get Luna a real nice emerald bracelet. And he pleasured her all up and down real good, so that gold digger was satisfied. Believe me. I was hiding up in a corner by the crown molding. I saw the whole thing. No disembodied spirit gotta wait for internet porn 'round this house. But Sarah's a good girl. She's real quiet about it. Her I like. Lemme go waft over to the Anti-Enchantment-Bureau and remind Jonathon to get home before the sun shines. That old, Doctor Franklin can be a tricky one. Besides, I feel like makin' Muggs (the killer, vampire monkey) jump around and scream a little. He does put on quite a show. They should put that on the web. Get more hits than that Justin Beiber, I betcha..............