Tuesday, June 19, 2012

EVEN VAMPIRE LIKE A NEW NATUZZI LEATHER SOFA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE

Trouble posting. Digital Devils attempting to silence. Not like a virus. More like a fungus, or slow, creeping tooth decay. BUT we persevere. 


Edith came back from the Pines. Oh, some days she'd drive in for a few hours...to visit, or to get things done. But the TV WEATHER LADY said we're all gonna sweat and sting for the next few days, so she came back. Mister Edith is here two.... a rarity. But them 'RED PAINT' folks didn't come.... You know, the ones where all the females look like PEEKABO STREET and all the males favor CAPTAIN JEAN LUC PICARD of The Star Ship Enterprise? Heat don't bother them. They just sit real still and keep they eyes closed. 


Tomas gettin' religion again. but he not lookin' to save the whole world, like last time (remember that parallel, alien-filled universe and the good diner orbitin' 'round Saturn?) He just wanna see his mama and papa. Thinks some guardian angel gonna help him do it. Edith tryin' to contact Johannan, his old, gruesomely killed body servant. But so far all she got is the kid who played LASSIE'S human brother on old, black and white TV. And I don't even think he's dead yet.


Tomas lookin' up shit in his copy of LA CIENCIA VAMPIRISMO. Edith brung it back from the Pines. He prayin' and readin'. Got an old 'victrola' recording of Jan Pierce's Kol Nidre, the old Hebrew liturgy of human confession and Divine Forgiveness. Plays it over and over. Sits on the floor huggin' hisself and whisperin' whole bunch a Aramaic secrets.


They all in Baylah's apartment. You know, the place she got upstairs from the piano bar. Sarah jus' set there sniffin' in a big, ole aroma candle. Usually she like green apple. Most vampires do, you know. But now she got one called 'fire cracker cherry.' Must a seen it on ELLEN, or somethin'. 


BAYLAH got a guy comin' up soon to show her 'swatches.' She wanna buy a new Natuzzi leather sofa. So they all gotta have to leave soon. Cab comin' in a few minutes. Sarah wanna go to Doctor FRANKLIN. His spread is really nice. Papa won't go near them Anti- Enchantment-Bureau goomers. He wanna go tickle some MOLE CHIPPIES. Tomas act like he in a stupor. But L'il Bastid Annie take his boot off ( you know, them leather bootkins he likes?). Pretend she fixin' a bite off one a his toes. That bring him almost all the way out of it. But he really do wanna see his mama...papa too.


SARAH say Mole People probably got them mushrooms (grows 'em underground) what help folks commiserate wit' the dead. See maybe if they work on vampires.


Baylah go 'round helpin' folks put they stuff in boxes. She get 'em from the State Liquor Store. Not for her. For the bar. Now they goin' down the steps. Gonna wait outside for the cab. It like one a them vans.


TOMAS see a homeless guy he know. Sarah say - Why you not give him somethin'?......... She mean like money. But Tomas don't know..... so he give him a real nice Rolex. Snap it right off his wrist and give it to him....... Homeless guy say - What I have to know what time it is for? It time a take a shit. Don't you think I know that?!..... But they already pilin' in the van, so don't nobody actually hear him.


CONRAD holdin' Annie's bestest, most favorite, petrified 'Gyptian baby-mummy. He don't like it, but he do it......


She is his 'mama,' after all....... and even though he don't perspire like he do when he human, he still want her buy him new suit a clean underwear.


Mister NEVER YOU MIND gonna leave you now. Gotta float off and  go see some real nice crack whores I know. Gotta bring 'em salt water taffy and a box a KOTEX.


I do try to help, don't you know...


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