Wednesday, September 12, 2012


Annie liked when Sarah fixed her hair. She wanted braids, but she couldn't get 'em to go right. You know, the old fashioned nineteen forties kind like Natalie Wood had in Miracle on Thirty Fourth Street. Don't know where Annie got the idea, but that's what she wanted. Could be she once bit the toes off an old lady who once had 'em. She 'takes in' a lot a stuff that way. 

Sarah made her take a nice bath. Little vampirinas don't sweat much, but she still gotta look nice. And warm water does bring the blood up to the skin a little. Not that they're exceptionally pale. You wouldn't spot 'em on the street. Still, a fresh, pink, blush does look so much better. 

Annie wanted to go snoopin' 'round some fancy hotel. Maybe The Mandarin, or The Royal Penn (he did reign as LORD PROTECTOR, you know). She liked sublimating through locked doors. Sometimes she drank up all them cute little bottles a Jim Beam. Sometimes she watched dirty movies. Sometimes she killed people. But don't think she did that all the time, for a vampirina can't take in that much blood. Maybe like twice a year. That's  all.

Sarah said - How about if I go with you tonight? How about we go see a movie, or maybe if there's a show you like, we can go see that. Annie liked musicals.  She could sing It's A Hard Knock Life til it made you sick. Tomas wanted to go too, but Sarah said - No, don't push it. Just me. Don't want to make a big thing out of it. Got to wean her off little by little. It's my thing and I gotta do it. She liked playing 'mama,' especially after that service. Tomas is Sephardic, you know. That means Rite of Spain, Jewish Orthodox. Don't think Fiddler On The Roof. Think Man Of La Mancha, if you want to know what it's like. So she was still all juiced up with The First Forgiveness liturgy from two nights ago. Advent of the Biblical New Year, you know. 

A lot of vampires take faith very seriously. They don't pray to Lillith, or any a that lurid 'fang, 't' & 'a'' kind a stuff. This isn't fiction. OK, I know we pretend that it is. But that's just a bunch of shit and you know it. What, every culture on Earth independently created the same, exact mythos? Indians up by The Great Lakes and Sumerian mystics BOTH stumbled on such congruent manifestations? 'Human' pleeeze. Quit makin' out like you don't see what you know you see. I know we had this talk before, but we got newcomers here tonight and they gotta learn. 

So Sarah went with the mean, little, vampirina bastid. Bought her story books from a hotel gift shop. Let her sublimate into the dark, cavernous Lord & Taylor store and boost a few 'cute little tops.' Annie liked cute little tops. Look, 'least she wasn't molestin' nobody. And then they shared an ice cold 'pony' bottle a Grey Goose. Not sure where they got it. But that's what they did. In case you're one a the new ones, vampires can drink alcohol, 'cause like it's a chemical and not a food. Guess they can drink Windex too if they want. That's a chemical. I don't know.

But the important thing is Annie didn't do no least by life-eater standards. And that made Sarah feel good.

Maybe like an hour 'fore dawn they stroll back to the townhouse.... a nice, young, Susan Sarandon lookin' mama and her all braided up little girl. Little girl look like she maybe a bitsy drunk. But you gotta remember, this is reality. Perfection we don't get....OK?

'Case you one a the new ones, bienvenido al mundo vampirismo..... That Spanish talk. Tomas like Spanish talk. After one thousand year he still like that talk. Old habits die hard. 

So tomorrow night, somebody gonna get theyselves all good and killed...

And who am I?  I one a your favorite disembodied spirits. This Mister Never-You-Mind..... and it time for me to sign off...........


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