Saturday, December 1, 2012

33RD BINGO BOY episode 12/1/12

BINGO BOY - post 33

It's late. The bingo hall is closed. Little Chrissie, Ricky, Big Chrissie and John crowd into a booth at some pancake house. John passes around print outs. They study them and talk. Little Chrissie says - How'd you get all this?.... John goes - From the license number. That's all you need. I already had his name, his business address and the town he lives in. Whoop, there it is. Look, I even have the names of the schools his kids would go to, if he had kids, which he don't... yet..... Big Chrissie squirms....Then he adds - I even know what he takes for his 'prostrate' condition.... Ricky says - Yeah, he does lie down a lot...... John goes - That's because he's sick and all...... Big Chrissie says - What's this at the bottom?...... John goes - A credit card, or a debit card, or whatever it is. He bought something. You wanna know what?... Earrings, he bought earrings. He bought a one carat pair of diamond earrings...... Big Chrissie goes - Oh, my God. I'm gonna vomit.... The other three protectively pull their plates in close.... She adds - Diane, the shill bitch, just got a pair a one carat studs too. I saw them. I asked her. She goes my boyfriend got 'em for me. I say 'oh yeah? Who?..... But she just giggles and starts settin' up her boards (another term for cards). God damn bastid. Wonder what his wife got? ......... John goes - Nothin'. I didn't see no other big purchase. 'Less she got her own credit card........ Big Chrissie looks angry........ Ricky goes - You know, you gotta be real careful. You can't make a big thing outta this, 'cause then Mrs. Marty would divorce him. He'd lose a lot a money and you'd (Big Chrissie) be shit outta luck..... Little Chrissie goes - But that's his address? That's it. That's where he lives?...... John goes - Yeah. Why?....... Little Chrissie goes - Nothin'. No reason. Just wondered. That's all.

But Ricky catches her eye and he knows different..

Next day at work, Little Chrissie starts talkin' to Marty back in the kitchen. She's helping him boil hot dogs for the free bingo-supper. They keep it clean enough back there. Look, they eat the crap too. And he does buy all beef wieners for hot dog night. Potato salad's not bad either. Goes cheap on the rolls. But rolls don't matter much. Two dogs and a big mound a almost homemade 'tater salad. Real hot. Real salty. Real juicy. Real good. Bet you could go for some right now? Am I right? Hell, I could and I'm just a ghost narrator. Got shmushed up under the 'el'. Little bits a me rained down on the street below like bird shit. And I don't always haunt 'the avenue' (Frankford Avenue). Believe me. I got better places to go. So let me finish tellin' you what I got to tell you and scram.

Little Chrissie says - Hey, Marty, I think I saw you outside your house the other day..... He goes - R-really? How'd you do that?..... She says - It was early, when I was takin' my kid to the pediatrician's office. Boy, ain't it a small world? Ain't that funny?.... He keeps on makin' like he's busy and goes - W-where's your pediatrician's?..... She goes - You know them offices they got right by Woodlyn Crossing?...... He goes - Y-yeah?........ She says - Right in there. He's right there. But I had a few minutes, so I drove through the development, 'cause the fountain was on and I like the way it looks. Baby likes it too. (boy, can she lie.)....... Marty goes - Oh! That was a friend's place. I just had a run in to pick something up for a minute...... Little Chrissie goes - Yeah? Funny, both your cars were in the driveway....... He makes like he don't hear..... She goes - Hey, Marty?..... He says - What?.... She says - Ya do any more thinkin' 'bout our offer?.......

But he just makes like he's countin' buns.....


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