Sunday, August 11, 2013

our take on SHARK WEEK~~~> Ladies & Gentlemen.... LYCANTHRO-SHARK!!!...8/12/13

A crazy grandmother was the first one. She roll out of a camper in da middle of the night. Gotta go pee-pee. Got old lady bladder disease. And camper potty no good, 'cause it got da voo doo real bad. Give old huzzband monkey balls and now the dawg scared a go near him.

So she sneak behind a mangrove where them gators can't see her do it. And she pull up her shift and squat down real dainty-like, 'cause her mama got white gloves an' whole drawer full a clean underwear. an' dat make her a lady.

Old man huzzband yell - Where you gun what I got you for Christmas, you old bitch, you?.....She go - Trade it for my teef, you old shit-ass (cause he got like a fartin' hobby and she like a good set a choppers) ..... Old man cackle - Good bye! Good bye! No more that girl! You dead! You dead!.... Then he shut that door real hard an' lock it up tight. But she hear him dancin' 'round inside. Figure she gone let him have his fun, then bus' a window and get back in. Pissin' part a her outing all done. She on to part two now.. You know, one time she put two dead roaches in a biscuit batter and tell him it raisins. He say it good. Guess they mus' a been high quality roaches. I doan know. That how they do to each other. 

It dark out there. Big trees. Spiders you could make a mink coat out of... bobcats..... crazy, killer chimp what escape from a zoo.... eight hundred pound gator what got a knock-off Rolex on it's back foot.... Old lady got big bites on her ass. I doan know what bit her, but she doan care. She not fussy that way. 

Use a have problem wit werewolves. People gettin' theyselves all killed up all the time. Big turds all over. Deputy doan do nothin'. He say - Go to hell and drop dead.... Then he write out a citation, cause he very proud a his penmanship. But nobody ever pay 'em, 'cause that deputy jus' a big dumb nut. 

You see, werewolves do like to move around, run wit' the pack and all that, specially when the pretty people all killed up. But one werewolf woman stay behind. She smoke cigarette. She stink. She wear dirty brassiere . Swim 'round the swamp water all naked and stuff. She like a low-life werewolf woman. Not like the high class ones. No siree. Not like dem at all. 

Now bull shark like swamp water too. 'Voo doo shark they call 'em. Chomp on legs... Chomp on part a asses... whatever they like... It jus' what they do. An' them what's the man bull sharks full a pearl jam. Got more pearl jam than human beans. That for sure. That why they call 'em 'bulls.' 

Low-life werewolf women and bull shark start mushin' up wit each other. She love him. He love her. They say he a very caring bull shark. But I doan know, 'cause they doan talk or nothin'. Ten week latter she have a baby an' ten week after that she have another baby. Got werewolf arms and werewolf legs... werewolf ears and werewolf eyes. But muzzle and teef is all shark. Tail all shark too. Look like part of a mermaid growin' outta its butt.... Got real short fur... Horse fur, it look like. Gray on back and white on the belly, like what shark do. I know, 'cause I see one once. A little one. A baby one, killin' a duck.

It almost growed now. An' it up a tree.... all still.... all quiet.... jus' watchin'... jus' lookin'... jus' sniffin'.... maybe fifteen feet from the old lady's head. 

She doan know, 'cause she squeezin' real hard. Otherwise she be able to smell it. Stink from cigarette too, jus' like its ma..... an' now it creepin.... It creepin' real slow.... Soon the tail gone brush right on top a her head. Bet she go - What dat??... 

But then it gone be too late... and she never gonna know...
(more later)

welcome to all what we got in our world at ~> MORE THAN JUST VAMPIRE WONDERLAND ... join me on Twitter at ~> @wilkravitz ... please COMMENT... a 'follow' would be real nice. thank you.

No comments: