Monday, December 9, 2013


Couldn't blog last night. None of the usual disembodied spirit narrators were around and Tomas had an emergency. Vampires do have what we would call 'medical' issues, some of which can be troubling. Tomas was making calls, trying to arrange last minute passage for Baylah. She wants to be in South Africa for the memorials. Usually his 'familiars' come through for him right away, but his airlines guy was out of town and the wife doesn't know about their arrangement so he couldn't say anything. She didn't know she was talking to a thousand year old Spanish, Sephardic Jew. You can't spring that on people, you know. Finally, he did find a person. Now she's on a small, leased jet somewhere over the South Atlantic. Might make a stop in Brazil, but I;m not sure.

Anyway, Tomas was getting so upset he started diffusing. That happens sometimes. It's like when they want to sublimate through a solid surface, or even through the air (what we perceive as flight). The body nebulizes. Edges blur and the central core becomes translucent. Some vampires have been known to go 'poof' and wink out all together. Do they 'die'? I don't know. We looked in his book. We actually opened up his ancient vellum copy of La Ciencia Vampirismo. I didn't read it. Edith didn't read it. We just opened to the page and put it down where he could see it (as least while his eyes were still working). Most of the writing was in Old Vahmperigo. It's like Spanish and Catalan by way of Provencal French, but different too.  Sometimes cold temperatures 'calm' the particulate (their word for atoms) and draw the body back into focus. So we had to take everything out of the refrigerator... all the shelves and bins too. One broke, but that's okay. There's food in there. I eat. Edith eats. Even the vampires drink cold vodka and crap. Had it all out on the counter. Turned the thermostat, or whatever it is, all the way down and got him inside just before he literally blew away. I thought part of his foot didn't make it in, but Leo said it'd be alright. Look he didn't know. I mean how long as he been a vampire? He was only guessing. But three hours later... yeah, it took three hours... we hear coughing from inside the 'french door' part. Vampires got expensive taste. What can I tell you. I say - Should I open it?... Leo goes - Yeah, open it.... Edith starts going - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.... But it worked. I opened it and he fell out... all cold and gray. His hair was like a real disaster. And you know how he gets about his hair. But he was alright. The book was right. Wow... I gotta get a peek at that. 

That's why I didn't blog. Let me tell you, when it comes to vampires...'death' isn't easy.

(normal post later)


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1 comment:

John L. Harmon said...

Busy night in Vampire Wonderland. Best you didn't call George Clooney for help. E.R. is long since cancelled and he would have just stood around being George Clooney.