Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - Minnie The Moocher<~~ this in my mind when I write this stuff TOMAS IN DOGLAND... 10/15/14





Night-Folk love Big Bad Voo Doo Daddy. And after four years blogging for them, I love it too... Le Swing Noir is the best.



Now back to DOGLAND ~~~~~~~



Wait a minute...This is narrative evolution. I can see it. DOGLAND ... Philly in the 30's, 'cept all the people are CGI anthropomorphic canines. The cars.. The clothes... The booze... The music... Perfect for cable. All played straight. Just that they're dogs... showgirl dogs... cop dogs... momma dogs... priest dogs and just plain bitches... Listen to the video up above. Can't you see it? Come on... a biscuit for your thoughts.



Now back to our story~~~~~~~~~~



Tomas woke up. Somebody was making noise. He peeked out from under the dresser. The cook was gone. Must be killing  lunch. But a big, hulking, Mastiff woman was cleaning up. And this one moved furniture. BAM! BANG! (bed went flying from the wall). Gets in there real good with like an Edwardian Swiffer... a feather duster on a long pole... cleans the base board... gets down on her hands and knees to do the floor.... THUD! WOOMP! Bed goes back.... Spits out some dog talk curses. Opens a bottle of cologne on the bureau. Smells it. Puts it back. Spits out a few more curses. Shoves her long handled feather duster under a tall chest. She's getting close. Tomas gets worried. What if she lifts the dresser? What if she shoves it aside? What if she sees him? He waits til she gets down on the floor to retrieve some coins that her bob-tailed ass knocked off a night table. Uniform's got a little tail-hole in it, but sometimes the tail slips out. Dogs always saying - Excuse me, while I go adjust my tail hole... Human people'd say - Ooh! I gotta put powder my nose, so it don't run away... 

or... Excuse me, 'cause I think I peed a little... But dog-folk got their own thing.



When Mastiff thing down on the floor, Tomas makes his move... runs out and grabs hold of her hem... not on the outside, on the inside. He don't want her to see him... And he hangs on most of the day. While she eats a shish kebab of whole roast pigs on a skewer.... enough for like three Hawaiian luaus ... He holds on when she climbs the service stair to the second floor to dust and steal change up there.



Then he jumps off and sees a room with a doll house. He goes in. No one else is around.... a little, puppy-girl room, all mauve and pale pink and frilly. Baby (dog) dolls all over... But on a small, skirted table is this doll house.... like a full sized Queen Anne in his own world, only here it's a toy for a child. The back wall, the one facing him, is open, like doll house back walls always are. But this one's not really open. There's a glass barrier on it... a carefully made, snug, tight barrier, framed in brass, divided down the middle with a little lock... And when he cranes his head back and looks up at it, he sees people inside... other little people like himself. Whether or not any of them were vampires (or even witches, for that matter) he did not know. They rocked in chairs and talked to each other. One brushed her hair in a bedroom. Another bangs his head against the glass. But at his size it doesn't even vibrate.



A man, maybe he was supposed to be the father, or a grandfather, saw Tomas, yelled something to the others and they all ran to the 'fourth wall' and peered out. The tiny children were so cute. Tomas couldn't see it, but there was a thick rope of velvet piping where the doll house floors touched the glass to prevent the valuable 'toys' from falling down from one level to the next, or not falling down and getting stuck. They seemed shocked to see him, for they had absolutely no knowledge of the food-people in the cellar.... The mother 'toy' took the little boy 'toy's' hand. She seemed to be crying...



But Tomas was hungry... They were mortal and he was not. So he climbed up the tiny rose patterned skirting to get a better look...



<more next time... if you want you can scroll back to see what you've missed>



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1 comment:

  1. Thank you for making me smile today :) Hopped over from twitter and looking forward to following your posts.

    ReplyDelete

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