Monday, March 30, 2015

Vampires Get Political ... 3/31/15

They're in the den, or the family room, or whatever you want to call it, watching David Letterman. Jonathon likes Dave. Vampires like good humor. People don't realize that, but they really do. .

It's me, Billy. I'm typing this tonight. They don't even know I'm here. It's like on a reality show... after a while they don't even see the cameras.... Baby Moses Baskets are all done. Big, tall displays all wrapped up in amber colored cellophane  and tied with yellow ribbons. Each one loaded with traditional seasonal goodies.... chocolate covered jelly rings (the ring symbolizes the never ending Covenant)... chocolate covered marshmallow logs (I forgot what they symbolize... something ecclesiastical ... take your pick)... orange flavored gum drop wedges... honey-sesame candies... educational, hardback, children's books for the kiddies... his and hers Tag Huer watches for the grown-ups.... and a little-boy-baby-doll all swaddled in a soft, blue blanket, playing the part of Baby Moses... Baby Moses must be thinkin' --- Damn, how'm I supposed to get comfy with all the crap that goof got shoved in here? Real Baby Moses would a peed on it. One of the books in each basket had a $10,000 VISA gift card in it with a stipulation forbidding use for alcohol purchases and casino cash advances. Jonathon learned from before. You never know with homeless people. Some got serious issues.

Sarah said - I like when Dave ends with a music guest. And I have got to say the yearly Darlene Love appearances around The Holidays where she sang 'Christmas' were the best. Oh look! He's GOT a music act... The Suffers. See? He gets the best ones.... Jonathon tried to say something. Sarah went - Shhh, let me listen.... They were Afro-Cuban-Soul. Real good. Front woman's the best. Then James Corden came on, but I needed a bathroom break and missed the first few minutes... (got back)... Gee, BETTER CALL SAUL is real hot. Corden had the Bob Odenkirk (forgive spelling) guy from the show... Sarah watches him. Loves it. Vampires don't spend a lot a time killing people. They go for walks... drink wine... buy all kinds a crap for themselves ... order fancy shit from CRATE & BARREL or WILLIAMS-SONOMA. I don't know where all the catalogs come from. Companies must target vampires. They watch a lot of television too.

Jonathon's upset about @trevornoah taking over for Jon Stewart (hey, they're both 'Jonathons') 'cause of that flip 'Israel doesn't know how to be peaceful' line... Says he's gonna write a letter. I say - Tweet, or Email... He gives me a look. Technology ain't his thing. We're all supposed to know that by now...... on TV David Beckham and James Corden are doing an underwear thing. Wow, Beckham's got too many tattoos, like an eight week old plaster cast. Man, what lampshades the Nazis 'd make out a him.

Sarah says - You know, Jonathon, if you're so worked up about that new Daily Show guy, why don't you do something about it?.... What? - he says..... She goes - Confront him. Where is he, Los Angeles? Go out there. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. What's his name will let you use his plane. See, if you ask me, night-folk don't get involved enough..... What do you call 'cull the wicked. save the worthy?' - he says..... Micro, that's micro. I'm talking about on a macro level. change the world in a big way. If I was a vampire in the nineteen forties I'd have killed Hitler, Tojo, Stalin and all their acolytes. Maybe some others too...... Jonathon goes - We go through this all the time! Deranged dictators ACCEPT the existence of the paranormal world. They HAVE vampire bodyguards, for God's sake. (then he points to me) You know that blog 'rerun' he ran last night, Roman emperors, night-folk imperial assassins and all that? Well, NEWS FLASH! They're STILL like that. You think Putin and Whoever the got in China don't have a few vampires stashed away somewhere? It's not so easy. They know about lead. They know what it can do to us. Look! What did that 'unofficial' Vatican group do to 'Papa?!" They kept him for centuries!!!

Edith comes in from the kitchen and goes - What are you fighting about? I can't hear my movie..... Jonathon goes - Nothing. We're just talking.... Edith says - Nice Baby Moses Baskets. Who's gettin' them this year?.... He goes - I don't know..... But he shakes his foot, so you know he's getting nervous.... Sarah says - I am not trying to fight with you. I just think you should be a little more confrontational where it counts... He goes - Uh huh, you don't know. You just don't know....Then he starts rattling off stuff real fast in Old Spanish..... Edith goes - Stop it! Nobody understands when you Ricky Ricardo us like that. Stop it!.... He stomps out and goes upstairs muttering medieval Andalucian oaths.  They watch him go.... Edith says - I'm gone back to Gene Kelly... and leaves. Sarah switches to some PBS thing about Helena Rubinstein and Elizabeth Arden. But she's not really paying attention. Three heartbeats later, she turns to me and says - Billy, you know when he mentioned that new guy from The Daily Show?..... I go - Yeah?.... She says - Make it clickable. That way any reader, and I know we have readers, who wants to say something can. Either way. I don't care. For or against. Let them talk. That's the important thing. Let them talk. I know what I'm going to say.

So I made it clickable. We'll see what happens.... Night-folk venture into politics.

Another evening at the townhouse.....

Annie's out somewhere with the elferinas. That's all I know....

<more later>


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