Monday, June 29, 2015

Elle King - Ex's & Oh's .. While Jonathon's Away, Vampirina SARAH Scores a Few X's & O's .. 6/28/15T

This is Sarah. You know me as Jonathon's consort. But what you don't know is I also 'consort' with others when he's out of town. I like the city during the summertime. Perhaps because 'humanity' is not so distant from me. And I speak of my humanity. Five years ago, I still ate salads and drank diet soda and bought Clearasil. Twenty somethings break out too, you know. I used Tampax and Secret roll on deodorant. I carried Tic Tacs and bought knock-off designer bags from a place off Bainbridge. And now I'm a vampirina... No more Clearasil and Tampax and the bags aren't copies anymore. I drink eighteen dollar chilled vodkas. And every time I walk into a certain Old City dance club the D.J. plays DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS. My mortal bed-boys, Luther and Timothy go with me. Flotsam and Jetsam, I call them. Such evil toys they are. But I keep them in check. See those thick, black watch things they wear? They're house arrest bracelets. You don't have to wear them around your ankle. That way I know where they are. That way they stay out of trouble.

Philadelphia is clogged with tourists. They stand where George Washington stood and Chubby Checkers stood and Bobby Rydell stood and Grace Kelly stood. They take selfies with all the ersatz Ben Franklins (and sometimes the scientifically preserved real one). Ben Franklin is our Mickey Mouse. They go see the townhouse mansion (now a museum) where house guest Bram Stoker wrote Dracula, some say based on stories Jonathon told him about a certain noxious vampire from Austria-Hungary he knew.

I like to talk to them... the tourists, I mean. I chat up conventioneers in bars. I kiss them. I bite them. I tickle them. We go to hotels. there's a suite haunted by the ghost of Sid Vicious or Nancy Spungeon. I like that one. Although I forget which ghost it is. Some spirits are so dull and nebulous. But my dates like it. It's fun to meet a ghost, especially with a witch for protection. That's what I tell them I am. I levitate a little... move things with 'mind power.' Sometimes I levitate during sex. that's a real show stopper. 

Edith (the housekeeper) knows. Look, Jonathon plays games too. I don't tell him and he doesn't tell me. Oh, and I have an alter-ego. Celeste and Marianne, the elferinas gave me the idea. When I'm out and about with Luther and Timothy or whoever, I'm not Sarah... I'm Evangeline.... Some in the Papal retinue have requested an audience. They know 'Papa' from his years in Rome and are curious about the rest of us, I suppose. I'll probably meet with them. we'll see. But that's three months away. If you're here then, or possibly before, make sure you see The Basilica Cathedral of Saints Peter and Paul... a vast baroque, God House on the Parkway and equal to anything in Europe. Then take in the deformed, grotesque, preserved bodies at The Mutter Museum... And maybe a stop at a strange, little, cozy, all night book shop called PHILADELPHIA AFTER DARK. Tell them I sent you... after all, I used to own the place.

Now let me go 'levitate' for a guy at The Society Hill Sheraton. I'm in a mood to put on a real show...

<to be continued>


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