Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Missteps In the Paranormal World..... 12/1/15

There was a time when the forces in charge of our paranormal world tried to switch things up a little. When someone became a vampire, they didn't grow cunning, sharp little fangs, but long, gray, prehensile, elephant trunks which allowed them to forcefully draw the blood out from people's large intestines via their rectums (major vacuum power)...

But vampires looked like pathetic goofs and there were loads of complaints. Manufacturers of sharp, 'vampire-wear' lost plenty and people stopped showing up for sensible colonoscopy examinations because of what might happen.

Preteen girls stopped loving vampires, moving onto centaurs and centaurinas instead.

Needless to say, the world was a very sad place. Dracula looked like Babar's father, but skinnier and minus the fancy ears.

Count Chocula made kids throw up and cry.

Real elephants ran and hid.

Luckily, paranormal forces are open to suggestion (eventually) and they went back to the fang thing, erasing all memory of trunks.

Existing 'trunked' vampires morphed into fanged varieties.

But they say a few, overlooked collectable Count Chocula cereal boxes ( of the trunk variety) do turn up from time to time.

Go figure..... That's just the way it is.

<more regular vampire stuff later>

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