Tuesday, February 23, 2016


They met in the Residence, Doctor Franklins very commodious quarters in the extensive complex under The Philadelphia Navy Yard. He had a cozy library too. An eighteenth century 'wench' robot served drinks. Due to his nativity during the British, colonial era, Franklin preferred gin. Jonathon didn't care. In his youth, all they had was wine, or perhaps a mead-like beer. The glasses came from Monticello, not the heavy, round, club-room ones used for vodka and gin today, but more in the style of squat, heavy goblets. The Doctor was very proud of them. He missed Jefferson. What that mind could have accomplished today.

Jonathon liked libraries. He felt safe in them. Even vampires with their special powers feel vulnerable. Sometimes all that comes with being night-folk seems natural. And sometimes it feels anything but. That's why Jonathon believes so much. He tells himself God understands. God wants this and He'll save him. He's sure of it, but sometimes the fear slips in. He remembers Muggs. He remembers the vampire chimp. That wasn't so long ago... three or four years at most. Look, Jonathon didn't create him, but somehow he came to be. How is that possible? Did God want him to 'cull' evil chimps? Did it have anything to do with spirituality? Was it all just an unusual physical condition... a sexually transmitted disease, if you will?... Vampires, at least all 'noble' vampires think too much.

So they sat there in that safe, warm room drinking their gin... two fine gentlemen, occupying 'antique' reproduction wing chairs, facing each other across a small, round, Chippendale 'cordial' table.

Then Franklin sighed and said - I heard about another talking in tongues thing.... Jonathon looked up as he went on... It happened in Massachusetts. I'm originally from there. Did you know?... Jonathon nodded... Franklin said - I think it was somewhere on the North Shore.  A tenth grade, high school Spanish class started speaking in a language that wasn't Spanish. Twenty six young people, all in unison, eyes closed, start singing, or reciting what sounded like a hymn, or a dirge. Teacher got scared. Started clapping her hands and yelling - Stop it! Stop this now! But you know how spiritually possessed kids are? No, I don't mean that as a joke. Being night-folk and all, you really DO know. From what they sent me, she called the office. Secretary sends up two ladies who keep discipline and write kids up in the lunchroom. They barge in, chests out, long, lacquered fingernails waving around in the air, yelling - OK, room 311, do we have to start writing people up!? Then Lunchroom Lady Number two spots a kid she knows, a bad kid, but bad in a good  way. Stands right in front of him and goes - Shit-Ass ( she calls him by his schoolyard name) Shit-Ass! Shit-Ass! Open your eyes!  But he doesn't open his eyes. Then the kids, all twenty six of them, strike a chord, a strong, piercing chord. Adults in the room grab their ears and double over. They have it all on video. One girl in the back, not in the class, but a wrap-around, an aide there to keep a neurologically challenged boy on task, taped it all on her phone. She's only twenty two, so maybe she don't count as an adult. You can see it if you want. They put it on You Tube under 'Shit-Ass! Shit-Ass! Shit-Ass! Open your eyes! Already has seventeen million hits. Here, I have it on my laptop. You want to see?

Jonathon exhaled and nodded..... The old reprobate reached over for a slim laptop on a side table, flipped it open and cranked it up. Then he handed it to the vampire and said - Here, look..... Jonathon did, but the trouble was he recognized some of the words....

Franklin thought he might, so he left him alone and slipped out to go feed this creature they have in the 'menagerie' that looks like Amy Shumer, but only if she was a centaurina.....

<more next time>


click AMY ... to see all episodes of Vampire Wonderland...
click SHUMER ... to join me on Twitter.
please comment. thank you.


No comments: