Saturday, September 10, 2016


Last night I shared my plans. Tonight I will tell you more. I can tell you everything, for idiots deem it all to be fiction. Let them. You and I know the difference. And what is political fiction but thought experiments shared with the masses?

Look at North Korea. Do you honestly think your leaders aren't toying with the idea of 'regime change.' My God, what a euphemism that is. The Round Heads in seventeenth century Britain only wanted a 'regime change.' The fact that it required a brutal sawing off of the king's head was just incidental. Well, governments do a lot of incidental things. I'm Doctor Benjamin Franklin and I know.

Right now, at our Pocono Mountain annex to The Anti-Enchantment Bureau we have a cadre of shining stars ready to go into action. And few people suspect, let alone believe what goes on under the rolling hills and baby mountains of north-east Pennsylvania.

I know Billy posted a series of episodes about the vampire academy attached to  Topkapi Palace during the salad days of The Ottoman Empire and how these cosseted 'biological weapons' were polished and honed till they became alluring, irresistible killers. Well, I am doing the same thing. It's basically a very facile maneuver to insinuate a properly trained vampire with a trusted aide. They have interns, pages, assistants, all manner of fresh, young things. The leader notices and takes the new arrival under his wing. Then one night, while going over routine correspondence at whatever they call their Camp David, or soon after during a 'rest' period, the deed is done... a discrete love nip, but one that goes on a little too long and the troublesome foreign potentate is bear grease... You know, the sticky residue left over after all the blood is gone and the, as yet unexplainable 'cool' blue flame does its work? No body. No identifiable DNA. No nothing. And the vampire assassin disappears too. No one takes credit. It's never mentioned.

In other instances the unfortunate ruler becomes a blood drinker. Most don't realize what's happened. The initiator vanishes and they're left to face the feverish skin shedding all alone... the initial gut wrenching hunger. Oh, they figure it out after a bit. That's when the trouble starts. Can you imagine a vampire ayatollah in Iran? A vampire monarch in Britain? The political-diplomatic world is like a giant Jenga game... a tweak here, a nudge there and the whole thing comes crashing down.

None of this has happened yet. School is still in session. We even have a well known flesh sculptor (bone, as well) to provide an added, subtle perfection. All the clothes are custom made. There's weight training, exfoliation... 'ex' everything.

Granted, certain parts are complicated. Our vampirinas and vampirinos still hide from the sun, but their 'mentors' don't care. Anyone can do office chores. Our graduates do other things.

Luna's here with us too. Some of you might be familiar with her. If not Google Vampire Wonderland by Billy Kravitz (we're forced to pretend this is all just made up) and add Luna.

I'm amazed at how much we have out there. Eight hundred thousand words, they say. You can Google Vampire Wonderland by Billy Kravitz and add ANY word and something will come up.

But you'll have to excuse me. It's 3AM here... less than three hours till dawn. I particularly enjoy hunting for campers. It's cooler here in the mountains. I like that too.

Now let me find an elastic pony tail thing and my hiking boots.

Doctor Franklin has to go.

<more next time>


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1 comment:

Glamr Kid said...
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