Jonathon sits by the crib quietly serenading the new-born 'cherub.' He plays old lullabies on his oud and in his mind imagines he's descended from the ancient Hebrew bards singing for their kings, as they pick out melodies on a harp-of-Galilee. Poetic, he's always been. Being night-folk only ads to it.
Little Larry, their two year old, vampire son, lies down, dressed in a thick, warm sleeper and listens. His eyes grow heavy, his breath deep and regular. He tries to shape the words and join in, but the ship has sailed, carrying him off to the Land of Nod.... Jonathon covers him with a nice, new comforter, puts in his favorite Sophia-the-Giraffe toy, dims the light and leaves.
He joins Sarah in the small library. She sits there hugging a throw pillow. He sits down. She doesn't say a word. He stares at the weak light from a small lamp placed among old volumes on the shelves. And that's it. For the next twenty minutes they just sit. These are vampires. They're like that.... Then he says - I love that little soul, but I wish you hadn't done that... Sarah whispers - So do I.... Then, after a few dozen heartbeats he says - Why didn't you just 'preserve' him with a few drops? We could have placed him with a mortal family. The 'familiars' would have found somebody. He could have grown and lived... She doesn't answer... But he knows she's not a bad soul. He knows this wasn't a malicious thing. Some vampires create 'cherubs' (baby/toddler vampires) for 'toys' or temporary playthings. They dress them up like little dolls, or little demons and send them out to feast upon sleeping mortals. Cherubs rarely kill, you know. They flit about like chubby mosquitos, taking quick, tiny kisses before racing off to repeat the same somewhere else.
Sarah says - I'll take him and go if you want.
Jonathon says - Stop it. Don't even say it. Do you think I would ever want that?
She shakes her head.... Then silence descends once more, till he ads - At least we don't have to change any diapers... She goers - Yep, but it'll be Paw Patrol and what's that other one they like, Twerkin' Elmo? What do they call him?... Our vampirino and vampirina giggle.
Meanwhile, witchy-woman housekeeper, Edith, sneaks into Larry's sleeping chamber with an ice water sippy-cup. Larry likes that. Calls it 'coffee.' He sees Edith drink her stainless steel, no-spill coffee cup. That's where he gets his ideas. He watches everything and everybody. Peeks through the parlor curtains early in the evening watching people walk by and goes - Hi, lady. Hi, sad man. Hi, crazy guy. Hi, other lady. Hi, dumb baby who not talk.
Jonathon says when he's ready they'll round up the other cherubs to socialize him.... Sarah goes - Uh huh... They figure there must be about four of them. Jonathon can't remember their names... The thing is, they were made in the Old World. They survived being soldered into a lead chest and thrown into the ocean. The lucky ones washed up somewhere else and got out. The unlucky ones are still out there, hopefully lapsed into a vampire coma. You know vampires occasionally walk across the sea... white, bleached out wraiths making their way along the abysmal plane. Some spend years down there. It's always dark. It's always cold. And if they need blood they get it from merfolk, or the great whales. The great whales don't mind. The merfolk do. But who are they going to complain to?
They say certain soulless oligarchs have a cherub, or two. Keep them in huge, glass 'aviaries.' But if you look at the glass, you can see a fine, honeycomb of lead webbing imbedded in it. Night-folk can't sublimate through lead. Those cherubs ain't gone no where. They just flit around that artificial, story-book woodland, skimming over the little lake and taking little blood drinks from dumb bastard naked folks locked in with them till they die. Then the oligarch throws in new , dumb bastard naked folks. Guys watch and drink vodka, sometimes champagne, or those expensive, little bottles of Starbucks sweet, creamy, coffee drinks. Sometimes they eat chicken fingers, but the good kind, 'cause they're oligarchs.
That's all we got about the vampires tonight. But one more thing. They'll never say it, but they like Sarah Silverman and Judd Apatow. A lot of vampires do. God, who doesn't know that. So, if you want, could you please click onto SARAH SILVERMAN ... and ask her to kindly retweet THIS SITE and visit maybe. Also ask JUDD APATOW the same thing.... I've asked them but they never do. Maybe if some of you ask them it'll be different. After almost six years and closing in on 400,000 hits the night-folk are getting antsy and I don't want them to kill me.
<more next time>
click bit.ly/297pDxg ... and then click on the
'subscribe' rectangle toward the upper right corner of the screen to see ALL episodes of Vampire Wonderland. they added that extra step.
click Twitter.com/wilkravitz ... to join me and also meet a whole lot of interesting people on Twitter.
please leave a comment. thank you.