en And After You See the Anchorman II trailer, please scroll down a few posts and read something completely unrelated, yet VERY DEAR TO MY HEART

REAL MAGIC IN OLD PLACES click on OLDER POST down at the bottom for something we hope you like even better...thank you.

A REAL MAGICAL OUTPOST DEEP IN THE WOODS BETWEEN PHILADELPHIA AND NEW YORK....... in the settlement of JUBILEE ...5/20/13

And then the air, already damp and misty, began to sparkle, as if strewn with tiny diamonds. We sat there, transfixed by this really quite impressive bit of Pow-Wow magic, a heady brew of Celtic, Gallic, Indian lore, carelessly thrown together at the time of America's beginnings and midwifed by Red Paint holy men. They chanted... a bit of archaic French... some Welsh... Absegami, and other completely unknown dialects, accompanied by six Red Paint women on pre-Revolutionary dulcimers. You may know them as auto-harps. The children threw their hands up and danced. Annie and her two unusual friends joined right in. 

Edith said - This is why we call it 'Jubilee.' Tomas (also known as Jonathon) you know, 'Jubilee' from the Bible?.... And he did know. That spiritual time of truth and rapture when all things are made whole, when slaves are freed and burdens are put down. 

Edith whispered - I know what you're thinking. You want to know if it's the same for night folks too..... He didn't answer at first, but then said - I've attended Jubilees in the past. Berber Jews observed them in Old Spain, exotics even then.  They sang. They danced. The feasted... A time of joy. Slaves went free. Debts forgiven. Property returned. A quaint custom. I wish it were true....... Edith answered - It is. Ordained by God, seven times seven years... a time of reckoning. And answer me this... Do vampires have souls?.... He whispered - Yes, you know that.... She patted his arm and smiled.... But you don't want to go, do you? - she said...... He shook his head.... And the others, Sarah and the rest, I mean, don't know - she added. But the little one might want it. Look at her dancing. She's happy. She claps. She laughs. When do we see her so happy? When do we see her so human. She wants to grow. You know she talks to me.... about what kind of house she'll have... about what kind of husband she wants. And she isn't talking about a night-marriage. not like what you and Sarah have... whatever that is. One night we watched Say Yes To The Dress on television. And she sat there, all curled up against me, wide eyed and quiet. Then she said - That's the kind that I want...... Sure, she knows she's a vampire. She knows that... But I don't think she knows what it means.

Then the dancers all sat down and sang. A few of the women passed out little cakes. Each child got one. There were cups of new wine too. Not strong, but bracing, just the same. Annie took  one and drank. She laughed with all the others and even nibbled a bit of crumbs. A little vampirina can always throw up later. That's what she always does...Jonathon nodded..... She said - I'll tell her there may be a way.

Twelve heartbeats later, the Talk To God man struggled to his feet ( two of the Red Paints helped him) and he led those assembled in a prayer. I think in a Pow-Wow patois.... The Pineys knew it. So did the Red Paints. They all did. Jonathon understood a few of the words from earlier visits. 

And the air took on a crystalline shimmer, as the 'diamonds' disappeared, along with old grudges and past wrongs.  Then the people all drank the wine and said that it was good. 

Jonathon looked at Little Annie. She smiled. He smiled back. Sarah came over and sat down next to him. He kissed her. 

Dawn was still a few hours away, so they went for a walk in the woods...
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IF YOU SAW THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND on STUMBLEUPON, CHECK US OUT ON TWITTER PG LINKS at @wilkravitz... 5/19/13

Before I start channeling them paranoid.. I mean paranormal goomers (it's me, Mister Never You Mind), jus' know you can always slip into THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND by clickin' on ~> wilkravitz' TWITTER account and seein' our link up on top a that page there... two of 'em in fact, 'cause we fancy.

OK... back to THE NEW JERSEY PINE BARRENS>>>

The three weird, juvenile specimens stare at the decomposin' body in the car. Annie goes  'Ewww' a few times, 'cause vampires is very fast-tittie-iss about such things. Pin Head Mel wants a touch it, 'cause he like to touch everything. That why he doan have to go to school no more.  Horsey Skeezix say - You on any specially prescribed supplements or drugs, 'cause there a little pill bottle layin' right next to that exposed femur over there?..... Disgruntled Dead Writer Guy say - Yo, nightmare Alfalfa ('cause he like a Jersey Devil and all) I a ghost. I doan even drink Kool Aid..... Horsey go - No, I mean when you not a ghost. I mean when you still breevin'..... Ghost go - Why you know so much?..... Horsey go - My people are very wise..... Annie nods. She know it true. So ghost tell 'em how he want a sue or kill a guy he know in New York. Not really 'New York' New York. More like Brooklyn, but they not know that. Say the guy stole his idea and with the help of a camp buddy who got a well connected daddy, toined it into a movin' picture show. Got invited to Sundance. Met Goldie Hawn and Eli Roth, punched a cop and everything.  

Annie say - Get me up to New York City. I kill him for you..... Ghost say - How I goan do that? (gestures toward his moldering leavings) I ain't exactly in no position a drive..... She go - Oh..... But they take him back to the root cellar and introduce him to everybody else. Everybody else say 'hi.' Night-folk ain't scared a no ghost, specially after the one they met. An' wilkravitz and him get along real good. They set in a corner whisperin' and all. Seein' as how it so crowded in that root cellar, ghost shrink hisself down to like G.I. Joe doll size. Not one a them cheap, little ones. Like a velvet-hair size, I mean. That make everybody more comfy. 

You see, ghosts is everywhere. Some spooky places make 'em more noticeable. That why they called 'spooky.' But they ooze out the air like dust in a sunbeam.  Doan mean folks don't go to Heaven. But Heaven ain't no jailhouse. It like a big hotel... like a 'finity sized Fountainbleu Hotel in Miami Beach, Florida. You can sleep there an' swim there an' everything. But they do let you exit the premises to see jai-alai  every once in a while. 

An' that writer ghost fella on shaky ground, 'cause if he do bad while walkin' 'round live folks (some a them live).... he gone be transferred to 'the other side.' Death is eternal, not countin' the physical Resurrection, or them what get re-carnie-ated. But addresses over there ain't. I not supposed to tell you that, but I did.  don't tell nobody, 'kay?

Edith settin' on porch up above wit' Mister Edith. It drizzlin'. She like that. Forest ain't but ten steps away. She see me glide by a few times. Says - Howdy do.... I doan answer, jus' slowly tip my hat an' nod.  Mister Edith drinkin' hard cider. Only reason he not drink more is it make him pee too much. They eatin' Lorna Doones too. Piney folk love they shortbread. 

So goes night in the woods... a strange place where 'worlds' collide.

Lemme go see who layin' in the mud...
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Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: en ... NOBODY DO PARANORMAL LIKE THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND ... 5/18/13

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: en: OK...this is new to us. we HAD to do it this way. PLEASE watch the trailer or click on ~> YOU TUBE STUFF    We gonna polish things up an...We had to set this post up like this, because they said it would help off set the traffic we lost. StumbleUpon banned THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND because I just posted each episode and didn't engage much with the other kids. I didn't know. I thought I was being 'home blogged.' But i'll tell you a little about what happened in the Pines tonight anyway.

The juvenile weird and wonderful set (I'm talking about Little Bastid Annie, Pin Head Mel and Horsey Skeezix) found their own ghost too. He was a young one, only de-body-ized for like six months. Some guy from North Jersey. Found him sitting on a rock, like a macabre tableau in a fun house. Had a big gash in his chest... right down the middle. Looked like he was takin' a break from getting his heart operated on. Just sat there, with his head cocked to the side. You know. The way dogs sit. Annie didn't know he was a ghost at first. But seeing as how he was so mangled up, there really weren't too many other alternatives.

And it was dark. I don't know where the light came from. But there's always a little bit of silvery shadow bouncing around in them woods. Like magic what got trapped, or life without no body. See a lot a that 'round there.  Annie goes over. She runs her hand through his midsection. She pulls it out, smells her fingers and goes - Ewww. Horsey Skeezix whispers - Dead, right?... The stringy haired, little vampirina nods. Pin Head Mel don't say much. He just sits down on the ground and starts pickin' a scab. He got a lot a scabs, 'cause he ain't careful.  Once he ate a light bulb. Think it's still in him. Mama called the doctor. The doctor said -  Shit, that kid gone wind up dead.... But so far, he ain't wound up that way. 

Annie wants the ghost to talk. She shows him her fangs. She tries to sublimate up off the dirt. Sometimes she's good at that. Sometimes she can fly. But only sometimes. This ain't one a them times, so she crashes back down, butt first on the ground. Pin Head Mel likes that. He laughs. She tells him to go to hell. Horsey Skeezix stands off to the side with a studied equine grace... quite the figure with his faun-like body and folded dragon wings (he prefers 'dragon wings' to bat wings). The young Jersey Devil studies the ghost. Then he says - Look, he's moving his eyes..... Pin Head Mel goes - Yeah, movin'...  Annie waves her arms in front of his face and yells - Hey! Dead bastid! What's wrong with you? Who the hell are you?!.... Horsey Skeezix doesn't like when she talks like that. He and his kind have higher standards.  The young spirit on the rock reaches into his chest and pulls out his heart. It's still shiny. But that's only a ghostly illusion... Then he quietly says - Here, you want it?..... Annie shakes her head 'no.' ..... So he shrugs , wrings it out and puts it back... That's OK - he says. Nobody did..... The little vampirina girl, who knows a bit of paranormal chicanery, says - Your chest really torn up, or is that just like one a them pictures, like a sacred heart a Jesus thing?.... Ghost says - Like that. I think, therefore, I am..... Pin Head Mel says - I think I gotta pee.... Annie (she gettin' real antsy by now, 'cause she wanna find out things) yells - Then get in them bushes and pee, you putrid son of a bitch!.... So he does. Then can hear the water patter on the grass.

Horsey Skeezix  steps in closer and whispers - Why you here?..... The ghost mimics him--- Why'm I here!? Why'm I here!? Because I died here, you dumb, shit..... How? - said Annie..... I don't wanna talk about it - says the ghost. But lemme ask you a question. You, you, vampire girl. You from here, or from outside?..... From outside. From Philly - says Annie..... Yeah, she just a 'shoobie' - says the Pin Head. Who by now was back from his mission..... Ghost seems interested. Says - you ever go to the movies?..... She goes - Yeah, Sarah takes me. Why? You in one?..... But he just smiles, 'cause he had a story what got away from him.... and now it's makin' money for somebody else.....

That's why he drove the way he did. Didn't mean to smash hisself up. But didn't mean not to either. Tells Annie what he wrote. Asks her if she seen it..... She goes - Yeah, 'round Christmas time. Why? But he just sets there cryin'. Sound mighty strange when a ghost cry..... like a tired banshee keening in the night. Then he sniff back all his spirit tears (real to him) and whispers - Wanna go see the car? It's wrecked and all crapped up, but I can show you..... She nods. The others are interested too..... So he gets up. Who knows how long he been sittin' there. And leads them into the thick, sharp brush. You know, ghost don't mind no brambles. But even little vampirinas feel pain. Still, they wanna see what he gonna show 'em, so they go...makin' faces and wincing the whole way...

A hundred and forty four heartbeats later it's there, down in a ditch and wrapped around a tree. Slide off one a them fire access roads. He must a got lost. Ghost motions them over. Taps on the window and says - Look..... The three unusual, juvenile specimens press in, peering through the near absolute darkness.... Ghost goes - Don't be scared. That's just me.... And they see the desiccated, mildewed corpse smiling back at them. But it ain't happy. Them what dead a long time always look like that. Pin Head Mel starts to cry. Jersey Devil kid puts his arm around him.... But Annie just looks... And the spirit does too.

I can't tell you more tonight. Dawn comin' up. Maybe forty minutes.. Maybe forty five minutes. I myself am a disembodied spirit too. We been narratin' a lot a these episodes. Some a you know that. An' we lose energy in the light.

So come back tomorrow. I'll still be here.

Nobody do paranormal like THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND. Want more? Hit ~>THIS ... COMMENTS & LINKS (yours) are very welcome. 

en

OK...this is new to us. we HAD to do it this way. PLEASE watch the trailer or click on ~>YOU TUBE STUFF   We gonna polish things up and be a book one day soon. But you can wander the mines right here. 1,000 episodes up now and more will continue appearing nightly. The trailer is...well, the trailer, like at the movies. After you see it...PLEASE SCROLL to the never before seen episode below. We're going for an Eli Roth vibe. Thank you for your support. If you'd like a one or two click route to ALL of our episodes, click on this ~> THIS .. and kindly favor us with a COMMENT... your LINKS will appear with it too. We're trying to get new and modern...BOY are we trying.... OK, now remember...1st the video, then scroll down to the episode (or click on OLDER POST down at the bottom. It was supposed to go up last night, but we accidentally broke a STUMBLEUPON rule and almost died.. No, really. We depend on them for traffic and almost had a heart attack.... I am not kidding. Now, the pixilazted night-folk of Philadelphia... currently in the mysterious Jersey Pines... await....

PERFECT CIRCLE OF HOLLY TREES DEEP IN THE COOL GREEN PINES......... 5/16/13

They took us to this place. It's a real old place. Piney folks didn't do it. Red Paint folks don't say, but they must a done it. Just a little clearing, maybe thirty feet across, edged by a neat circle of sharp leafed holly trees. Each one's about fifteen feet tall. Some 'tree races' (as our hosts call them) don't grow that much. Had to step through these bushes at the bottom. You could tell the place was carefully tended. Edith says it's a talk to the dead place. We had this guy with us, a Red Paint guy. Looked a little like Captain Jean Luc Picard of the star ship Enterprise, but not that much. Red Paint guys show some variation. Women too. They don't all look like famed Olympic skier Peekabo Street. Maybe in the dark they do. But I don't know. 

We sat on old dried up stumps. They made like a smaller circle inside the trees. Red Paint guy don't say nothin'. Just gestures and we all sit down. Little Annie ain't with us. She monkeyin' around somewhere with Pin-Head-Mel  and that little Jersey Devil boy. Remember Mister Tumnus, that faun guy from Narnia? Well, he looks like him, 'cept his naked parts is covered in real short gold-sandy hairs... like velvet. Don't make him look hairy...just velvety, even his face. 'Case you missed a few episodes, head hair all normal and wavy. Runs down his spine like a mane. Never seen him fly, but he do got the bat wings. Daddy Devil flies though. Him I seen.

Nobody say nothin'. We just sit. Conrad whispers that he's bored. Jonathon give him a look and he shut up. He ain't bored. He jus' don't like this, 'cause of originally bein' almost a monk 'fore he got the 'night-fever.' That boy one strange vampire. I tell you that. Me, Edith and the driver guy can't see no ghost yet, 'cause we jus' human beans. Even though Edith, bein' a 'pow-wow' woman does have a certain sensitivity. But she say the rough stump make her ass itch, so she mostly concentratin' on that. 

Then the first one come. No noise. Leaves don't rustle. No nothing. Jus' all of a sudden, whole mess a big, shiny, roachy things come runnin' up from the brush. We could see 'em in the torch light. Run up legs. Run up arms. Dash cross faces. Nibble at ears. Sarah twitch a little, but just a little. Red Paint folks don't do nothin.' ..... Conrad go - Ewww!.... Somebody yell - Shut up!.... But I don't know who it was..... Then we hear laughter... real quiet and tinny like. One by one the roachy things go pfft! and disappear into small, rising tendrils of smoke. Little nebulous  ropes meet in the middle, up above our heads, where they slowly weave together, before cascading down toward the grass and taking the shape of a girl. She laughs some more. Her dress all moldy and torn. First it look like she got her hands clasped behind her back. But then I see she ain't got no arms. They all ripped off.  Look like a chain saw did it, just below her little puffy sleeves. She say somethin' in a language I do not know. Jonathon say it French-Canadian. Say she got snatched off the Boardwalk in Atlantic City back in nineteen fifty six. Her tiny arms, bones now, still buried in the sand under the great, wooden promenade right by Caesar's casino. Nobody ever go back that far. Him what done it hide her body in the Pines. That why she here.  Him what done it put tourniquet 'round her stumps so she don't bleed out. Then he bury her in the dirt. No box. No nothin'. Just dirt. That how come she so friendly wit' the bugs.

Wants us to help her. Wants us to go get her arms back. Say she can't eat no spaghetti without 'em. Say she can't bounce no ball. Walks over. Starts sniffin' everybody settin' down here. Red Paint guy quietly says - Do not move. So we don't. I can see the rot on her almost transparent skin when she comes close. Then she snaps her teeth real fast, like she gonna bite my nose off, but she don't. Plays wit' Sarah's earrings. Jonathon whispers - Can you feel it?... Sarah mouths - Yes..... This continues for quite a while. She plays with the driver guy's hair. Runs her putrid fingers through it. And them ain't nails on the end. Ain't got no finger tips, jus' sharp, little, pointy white bones. Driver guy shudders. Then he laughs. She don't like that.... so she grabs the sides of his head and rips it off. His arms fly up. But what good they gonna do? Ain't got no brain to tell 'em how. Blood spurtin' up jus' like a chocolate fountain at the Golden Corral. We all sit and watch til it all over. Then Conrad go - Hey! Where her arms come from!? .... Red Paint guy say - She got 'em when she need 'em. Some ghosts is liars. Don't you know that?...... Conrad don't say nothin'. French-Canadian spirit girl all gone now. But we still gotta get rid a her leavings. I mean like the head and all. 

Red Paint woman say she gone sew it back on so it look better when we give it to the family. Jonathon say - He ain't got no family..... She say she gonna do it anyway...... Red Paint guy what led us here say - Thus speak the spirits....... Conrad says - Are they gonna say more?

Red Paint guy grin and go - What you think?

And that's it. That's what happened. Like a tourist thing. Like a luau in the Pines. 'Cept nobody cook no pig.

This is wilkravitz, the 'familiar' what blog this. Forgive me all the 'Piney' talk, but I am quite impressionable. Next time you'll see more...

How long we gonna sit here in the dark? I gettin' all itchy. Edith say that's cause a the body and the gnats and all. I go - Oh..... But that don't make it no better. 
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