Bono And The Edge Stuck In A Moment Live Letterman 2011. Part 2...ALE

You got to get yourself together and listen to this. Tomas LOVES it. He was shocked to see only 16,021 plays on You Tube. Guess more of us gotta do that 'gettin' together? 

It's like a clue to what's coming later in The Vampire Wonderland. Our vampiric hero been waffling for, well we've only shared the last three years, but he's been doing it for centuries... And now it stops

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TOMAS TELLS TALES OF WOOD SPRITES AND PEOPLE RIPPED LIKE CHICKENS... 10/26/13

It was too cold to sit out in the small back garden. They liked that spot and as vampirici were immune to germ borne illness. But the icy chill was uncomfortable and offensive to them, for it brings to mind the dead, cold nihilism of the tomb. Most night-folk, save for deranged individuals given to haunting cemeteries and ossuaries avoid it. They can tolerate it, but do not chose to. Vampires are by nature epicures, favoring comfort and fine trappings. Tomas is no different, though from time to time they like to get away, as he did during the recent wanderings into the north woods. So he and Sarah sat before the orange glow of a waning fire and he told her what he saw. Her concerns regarding his new 'superhero' thing, though very real, would wait. Impatient she is not.

The warm and comfortable 'family room' is a good place to talk. The trim, 'youthful' vampirino considered the tiny flames for a moment and began..... I'd forgotten how alive it is. No, maybe I always knew that, but I'd forgotten how aware it is too. - he said. Knowing entities are everywhere. And what we see as physical form is immaterial to them. Oh, they can project such a thing. They can be sprites, or Pucks, or I don't know, even Smurfs if they want. But most times they're just there, watching, knowing, whispering and sharing. Some are no more than glorified thought. Others are able to focus and manifest real, physical strength. 'Spirits of the wood' we call them. And by 'we' I mean vampires and mortals too. For what are we, but enchanted humans. I like the word 'enchanted' better than 'infected.' What kind of candle is that on the table there?..... Sarah leaned over and picked it up..... Is says 'Big Sur.' I guess it's a woodsy, ocean thing. - she said.... Then she lit it, for that's what he really meant. After a few heartbeats the aroma, which was really quite good, began to fill the room. 

Tomas went on - But humans are just things to them, walking, farting puppets. Hikers fart a lot, you know. It's what they eat. Or perhaps it's all the exertion walking over rough track. I don't know, but they do fart a lot. And the wood spirits pick up on it. Maybe that's why they leave vampires alone, because we don't do that. But I saw what they did to a twosome. A father and son I believe they were. All decked out in new fall gear. Pants tucked into socks, the better to avoid the little 'vampires' crawling there. So careful they were, with their knapsack filled with food and all. I wanted to warn them but it happened so fast. As it was daylight, I was deep in a cave, drifting rather then sleeping. But I monitor my surroundings via remote vision. You know how I do that. We all do, especially in strange surroundings. So I was helpless and couldn't have done anything anyway. Looking back, I think they meant to torture me too.

The boy seemed to be about eleven, or twelve. Just shy of what we would call an elferino (pubescent vampire) and such a good, little fellow he was, talking and smiling. He liked the animals, the chipmunks and all. But he slipped, just like that, down a steep embankment strewn with fallen trees, rocks, leaves and all manner of things. I think there was even a half rotted deer carcass. Tumbled down like a tossed doll. But one foot caught under a fresh, heavy tree trunk, while the rest of his body continued on its way. I don't know if that would have happened in nature, or if the wood spirits did it, but the trapped limb twisted and tore right off his body, just like a chicken leg chopped through the joint, though this was much more ragged. Even his pants ripped free. I can't remember if he made any noise. Remote viewing is like that. He just lay there, wide eyed and stricken, gasping like a fish. The father skittered down in an instant. I heard him. He screamed - No! No! No! No! No!.... Two heartbeats later he lost his footing and smashed his head on a jagged rock. He died quick, but the boy lingered for perhaps two or three minutes more. Oh how the blood drew flies. I couldn't hear it but I knew, no, I mean it... I really knew the wood spirits were laughing. They hate humans, you know. View them as bumbling interlopers. That's why they do what they do.... 'Lost in the woods'.... 'Killed by a bear'.... 'Drowned in the rapids'..... Do you think those things happen in and of themselves all the time?

Later, when it got dark, I came out and there in the moonlight said prayers for them. The old Hebrew Kaddish prayer. Magnified and sanctified be the Kingdom of The Lord and all that.... But the spirits still laughed. A few hours later I found a shuttered supply hut, a place where hikers could stop and buy things. I sublimated through the door, found what I needed and left a note telling them where to find the bodies. God knows what they made of that note, or how it got there. Everything still locked so snug and tight.

Then he stopped talking. He just sat there. And Sarah knew why he needed the solace of games. So she never said much about that 'Dark Mister' thing. Edith came down to remind them it'd be light soon. They thanked her and said that they knew. Then they went down together and slept...

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THE VAMPIRINA CONSORT SARAH TALKS TO HER VAMPIRINO MATE TOMAS ... 10/25/13

He was walking down a narrow, ancient, Center City street. Tomas likes 'making his rounds.' He checks things. It's how he keeps the peace, when he's not 'culling' somebody and all. And the quiet, old byways are his favorites. This one has small, cozy rowhouses with white marble steps. Scaled down, 'city trees' line the curb and mellow, red bricks pave the sidewalk. They're a little bit uneven and lumpy, but that only adds to the shadowy, storybook atmosphere.

Most of the windows were dark. Most of the people were snug in their beds. Here and there a kitty-cat lounged on a window sill, perched between the wrong side of the draperies and the cold panes of glass.  Tomas nodded to each as he went by. Vampires have a special thing for cats. And the cats know it.

He found a homeless woman huddled by a doorstep. She was sleeping. He didn't wake her. She had a new quilt. Someone must have helped her. At least that part was all right. But he made her night even better, taking off his own designer watch and snapping it 'round her pudgy wrist. Tomas had plenty. Tomorrow she could sell it. They wouldn't give her what it was truly worth. He knew that. But at least the 'honest' ones would give her the gold value. At least she'd have that. And the tortoise shell kitty in the window approved.

Seventeen heartbeats before he reached the corner the cold, night air to his left began to fizz. No froth. No foam. Nothing like that. Just a quick, little, rapid pulse of electric frisson. And six seconds later his consort, Sarah, appeared by his side. Tomas looked at her and smiled a rather pleased and somewhat naughty, sensual smile. And she smiled back. Then he took her hand and they walked on. 

New trick? - he said. I've never seen you do that before...... Sarah said - Yeah, new trick. And I like your new outfit too. Not completely different. You always leaned in that direction. Just more pulled together and sharp....... Thank you. - he said...... They continued  down another street equally as snug and the vampirina sweetheart said - You can tell me. What do they call you now. It's all right. I know....... Tomas said - The Midnight Rambler, or M.R., or Dark Mister...... And which do you like best? - She asked....... D-Dark Mister - He said...... Sarah whispered - No, I meant Silvia, or Aura...... He just went - Oh.....After a few heartbeats she said - It's all right. I understand this 'vampire' thing now. I know the way it is and I know the way it'll be and I know it's not just those two. I know that. But I think you should know a few things too....... Her vampirino partner didn't say a word.

They continued in silence (not that night-folk make much noise at all when they talk) til they got home, but when they entered the townhouse, Sarah began again... She had come to see things a certain way during their time alone and now she wanted him to know. 

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WHAT THE VAMPIRINA, SARAH DID ON HER TRAVELS... 10/24/13

Now the vampirina, Sarah was steadfast in her faith and she did not intentionally travel so far, preferring to wander here and there throughout the city and it's environs. Although, she was seen in more distant realms as well. And her night years pale when compared to those of her consort. She has only walked through darkness for perhaps thirty six moons. But the 'responsibility' is very real to her and she dispenses assistance with the pure conviction of a saint.

Many desperate souls have tasted her blood. The sick have been made well. Those with noxious growths gnawing at their flesh recovered and the starving knew satisfaction. The 'Lady' of Philadelphia they call her. But in no way does she ask for it, unlike that previous time when Baylah played 'Our Lady of The Olive Garden' to starch-drugged diners in the parking lot of a noted eatery.

And now she comes back to the town house. Oh they've had scenes like this before. Night-folk always vacillate between the spiritual and the profane. If my voice sounds familiar to you that is natural. I am Johannon, the body servant once charged with the safety of Jonathon also-known-as-Tomas, during the last days of his mortality, though we did not know that then. But my spirit still hovers near him, jostling for position with other disembodied souls desirous of your attention. For word is this will one day soon become a graphic novel, or (if God wills it) a screenplay and you know how 'ghosts' crave fame.

This is how she did it. The Lady Sarah, I mean. This is how she got the blood.... She'd ask for it... venturing into pubs and taverns when the clock struck twelve. She'd sit down, take a out a Bible and put it on the bar. Sometimes she'd read it. Sometimes she wouldn't. And I do not know if the scriptures in question were trinitarian or unitarian. But the response was always the same. Those given to grog are sentimental sorts and cognizant of their sins. Needless to say, these were not gentle places, so the sins were often great. After a time they'd retreat to a booth where she would hear confessions. Sometimes they'd cry, but she'd comfort them and offer salvation. Then one, hopefully the worst, would be her meal and she'd kiss him in the alley til he died. Thus was she nourished. Soon, maybe four or five heartbeats after exsanguination, the empty, human husk ignited into a cold, blue flame (as vampire victims always do) and disappeared. Later, in the privacy of her lair (wherever that was), she'd pierce her fingers with tiny lancets and draw the blood, collecting it in  small, glass vials, originally meant for department store perfume samples and bought wholesale from a supply house in Cincinnati, having discovered such things on the web. Sarah is an up to date life-eater.... The tiny vials were dispensed to troubled mortals, preserving their lives and helping them carry on. That was her purpose. That's what she did.

Soon she'd see Tomas... and his new, ersatz 'Robin.' True, he often saved mortals in a similar manner. They all did. But now he was a superhero too..... 'Boys' and their games....

What would she think of that?... And would they still make love on a hidden bed of rose petals as always?

Shhh.... listen to her footfalls click against the pavement. Vampires walk with such purpose...

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THE ELEPHANT MAN makes the Vampire Known as Tomas Cry ... 10/23/13

I didn't know what to make of that new kid. Does he have family here? Are they looking for him? Is he in contact with them? What does he do? What talent does he have? Look, I've been servicing this blog for almost three years. Yeah, it's me, wilkravitz and I'm actually real concerned about this. We sit out in the small back yard... more like a glorified patio. And in the city it doesn't take much to be glorified. It's dark and it's cold. Not winter time cold, but considering we've had 'summer' til just about a week ago, it's cold. Edith drinks coffee. Even Tomas has a hot toddy. Conrad's back. And that other one... what's his name, 'Larry?' I lose track of them. Wasn't he 'dead' for a while? I don't know. But they're not here. Them two like to browse around an all-night supermarket. Come back with a whole mess a scented candles and a bunch a crap. Check out girls think they're crazy. They don't know they're vampires. Must think they're a couple. I don't know. 

Tomas is agitated. He wants to start something new and he's worried Sarah might not like it.  He really wants to be a superhero. Figures a vampire is perfect for that. Already has super powers and the requisite fashion sense. He likes the name too. Truthfully, it's already started. City Paper had an article about 'The Midnight Rambler' and how he saved some dude. (the 'dude' was that new kid). And street hoods don't want to get liquefied like them other thugs did. So now we got 'The Midnight Rambler'... 'M.R.'... and 'The Dark Mister.' Edith blows on her coffee and says she likes 'The Dark Mister' best. We all do.  But I don't know about 'Scratch.' That's what the new kid calls himself.  Wants a be 'Robin.' 

Tomas can't wait to go back out and do cool shit. Got his uniforms all ready. Bought a bunch a black skinny jeans at this Banana Republic store, the big one on Walnut Street. Got a mess of short sleeve and long sleeve t-shirts... just white... only white.... Leather jackets look good though. Bought three of them... black, real trim, nice collar. You know they gotta stand up just right. And I don't have to tell you about the black, leather bootkins?.... 'Bootkins.'.... He likes that word. Think it goes back to his nights in Restoration London. I don't know what the new kid wears. He's got some type of outfit too. I don't know. But in all honesty, let me ask you, what the hell is he supposed to do when Tomas vanquishes low-lifes with his vampire, I mean 'super' powers? What, just stand there like a cheerleader? Oh, that ain't never gonna work. 

And Tomas, also known as Jonathon, is serious. Came to him when he was watching The Elephant Man. Made him cry too. Latched onto the fact that John Merrick, the main character, was only in his twenties. I don't even know if  'character' is the right word, because it's a true story. Michael Jackson had his bones for a while. I don't know who has them now. Hope Tomas don't buy them. Bet someday somebody'll get a hold of Michael Jackson's bones. Maybe Justin Bieber, or Lady GaGa wants 'em? 

But he was crying that night. Tomas, I mean. Sat there watching it all. And this was just a few nights ago, because he ain't been back that long. Said - Look at him, an innocent young man. A child actually who only wants to fit in. Who only wants peace. Look at him...... And then the part where he dies, because he only wants to sleep lying down like a normal person. Couldn't do that because of the size and balance of his head. Had to sleep all propped up. But one night, after attending a small reception that went quite well (upper crust London used him like a toy, like a penny dreadful horror story passed from hand to hand) he did. But he was not like everyone else and so he died. Some said his neck snapped. Some said he suffocated. But he died. And you don't ever want to see a vampire cry like that, 'cause imagine what he's seen in his life.... A thousand years, you know. 

I don't think he's gonna sleep here every morning. Tomas has hidey-holes all over town... museum storage rooms.... hidden attics... basements. And you know about the mole-folks down in the tunnels now. That 'Scratch' kid's gonna sleep here though. Where else is he gonna go? What's Tomas supposed to do, give him twenty bucks after they (really just Tomas) liquefy somebody and say - Here, go get yourself a cab?..... People are gonna start recognizing  him. Cabbies are gonna start saying- Yo, I had Scratch in my cab last night.... That ain't gonna be good. That can't be right. 

So we're sitting here freezing on the back patio. It's a private, little place, cozy with potted plants and all. Tomorrow night's frost will probably kill them. Edith will call a guy and have him put in Chinese Winter Cabbage. Tomas wants it to look nice. Sarah too. We got a little cupboard out here with lap robes. That's just a fancy, back-in-the-day word for thick, plaid, wool blankets. Like what Nucky Thompson covers himself with when he goes for a cold weather rolling chair ride in Boardwalk Empire. Shores actually at it's best on cold, bright, clear winter days. A lot of people don't know that. A lot of people don't know a lot of things....

Even vampires....

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Susan 313 -- Sarah Silverman ..this is what a pilot looks like. COMMENTS?

Not my regular post, but an almost lost semi-precious gem you might want to see. Probably could be re-worked into a good stage show. Sarah plays a song writer, so even a musical...like THE GOOD-BYE GIRL for our time. Occasional references to woo-woo's and ding-dong's (not the cakes) so be forewarned. Oh, yeah..also a little like that movie where Burt Reynolds and Jill Clayburgh have this thing and Candace Bergen is the song writer.. I gotta take my stuff outta the drier and agonize over blog stats and not having an agent, so please excuse me... OH! If you DO want to read my stuff, click on the link I always have up~>browse.feedreader.com/c/Billy_Kravitz_vampire_wonderland ... or join me on Twitter~>@wilkravitz ...
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SCRATCHY OLD BLACK & WHITE MOVIES WHERE EVERYONE'S DEAD......... 10/22/13

They have these rooms in the tunnels... all kinds of rooms. City was gonna use them for storage, or restrooms for the new subway lines. But the trains never came. For ninety years they been buried there collecting dust and a whole bunch of other sickening crap too. Tomas and his mole-girl sex partners use one for their trysts. Was gonna be a break room, a place for ticket girls and broom-men to eat lunch and take a crap. The old b'rooms are still there. Got a closet filled with antique 'piano rolls.' That means toilet paper. Sinks got old metal dispensers you crank this powdered soap out of. Got cans of old, caked up powdered soap too. And all of it's covered in dust... maybe rat dander too.

Mole-girls dragged in this old mattress. Looks like it came from World War I. You know, that back in the day 'ticking' and all? That's where they lay. But first they do other stuff.  Tomas has this trick where he sublimates right through his clothes. The girls like it. Looks like something Bugs Bunny would do in an old Warner Bros. cartoon. He just stands there and goes WHOOSH!... Then he's fifteen feet out in front of his pants and all, which stand up fluttering and swaying for a few seconds before falling down on the floor. Other times he does it different... just steps steps through the garments like they're made of smoke. That's how he did it tonight. Aura and Silvia start clapping. New, human, 'familiar' kid sits on an old wooden folding chair taking it all in.  They'll let him watch the sponge bath part, but when they get to the other stuff I don't think they'll let him sit there. 

Sponge baths are like a ritual with them. Girls got these basins. White enamel they are. Real old. From one of the storage rooms. Chipped, but not too bad. Sponges look new... natural ones from some day spa down in The Concourse. That's an underground mall. Runs under the mid-town area. Think Kevin Bacon's father designed it back in the early nineteen fifties.  No, really. That's true. He was like a city planner. Like what Robert Moses was to New York, only people actually liked him. Side bar---- Do you know every time they plan a new construction project in Center City, Philadelphia, archaeologists have to 'OK' the area first, because they almost always find buried corpses, bones and artifacts from back in them powdered wig days. Washington Square park was an old cemetery. Didn't move the bodies or nothing. Just landscaped everything real nice so yuppie-dogs could crap all over 'em. Can't do that now though. Dead folks got rights too, you know. But let me get back to the floor show. 

First them girls wet him down real good. One do the front. One do the back. Sometimes they spin 'round and trade places.  Do every little part... all the bits and pieces. Vampire don't say nothin'. But you can tell he like it. Likes the soapy part too. Then they sponge it off with un-soapy water. After that, he do them, one at a time. Aura help him do Silvia. Silvia help him do Aura. Still quiet. No words. Got light, just a little bit, but enough, from two or three fat, creamy candles. Think mole-folk make 'em from dead pigeons. Every once in a while one a them tremble a little bit, 'cause it feel real good. 'Familiar' kid make like he readin' some old, dried up book they got down there. Not a book... a magazine actually..., old black and white National Geographic, from back when the cover just got printin' on it. It got mostly naked ladies doin' folk dances inside. Amazin' how much naked-ladies-doin'-folk-dances pictures they had a take back then. Guess people had a learn all the steps..... Then, when mole-girls all ready for Tomas a start pesterin' them, they shew kid outta there. Make him sit in a tunnel all by himself. But he not really all by himself, 'cause 'Ghost Teeth' Auggie out there too. He a mole-man wit' crazy teeth what glow in the dark, 'cause he drink a whole bottle (used bottles in them days) a radium paint from one a they storerooms. Was gonna use it for the numbers on clock faces, I guess, 'case the 'lectricity leak out. They was always feared 'lectricity gone leak out back in them days. Think it like spaghetti sauce, or somethin'. Auggie got an old, little plastic television. He set with it on his lap. All it get is movies... old black and white movies where all the folks is good an' dead. 'Familiar' kid start watchin'. Think it Gunga Din. Bunch a Englishters fightin' all them screamin' Hindu folks.But one Englishter look right at them. Auggie and the kid, I mean. Just like the screen a window and he can see right through it. Lookin', jus' lookin'. That when the kid see it not connected. He jump a little when it sink in, but not too much, considerin' what his last few days been like.

Then Tomas finishes, Gunga Din dies and they go back home.

Streets is quiet late at night. It like three thirty. Folks is out, but mostly they shuffle 'round like zombies. Nobody pay no mind to vampire and his 'familiar.' Good thing Tomas not shred his clothes when he sublimate through 'em, 'cause sometime he do that.

But not tonight.

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