Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: VAMPIRE LIFE IS QUITE LIKE YOURS

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: VAMPIRE LIFE IS QUITE LIKE YOURS: Those of you familiar with our milieu know vampires do not effect a kill very often. Most of the 'noble' breed feed but once every ...Cool, April rainy night here. Thought a taste of summer might feel good. Besides, the allergy heebie-geegies got me. Can't hardly breathe. Mold spores... pollen... unidentified alien microbes... they all got me. Burn off when temperatures top eighty degrees. They say we can expect more bees this year... Exceptionally lethal , lethal bug juice was killin' 'em. Farmers used it to fritz ugly, deadbeat bugs. Shame it got the cute, furry, industrious ones too. Poor little Buzz-Buzz. I don't know what color bees' blood is. And the queen ain't so much a queen, as she is a lay-about, always pregnant, domineering mama. Think she drinks fermented honey. Drunk all the time. Poppin' out babies like gumballs. No wonder the daddies don't stay around.



I can't stand meat on the bone. Looks like a chopped up, greasy corps. Camouflaged  meat is better... Ewww, you ever think each and every one of us got a fully articulated skeleton inside our bodies. Teacher told us that in third grade. Kids yelled, groaned and put their hands over their ears. Teacher goes - Well what do you think holds us up?... God does - they say... Actually only one did, but other kids jumped on it. You should smell how they all fart after lunch period on a hot day... too much milk... When they gonna learn? Not the kids... the schools.



I got a twenty fifth anniversary edition of THE ALCHEMIST by Paulo Coelho. Think he's Brazilian. Jonathon (our main vampire) likes that book. Just about 4AMedt here. Gonna to to bed and read it... Sorry bout not posting a new vampire blog and all. But allergy heebie-geebies ....



TV guy says this is PROSTATE AWARENESS MONTH... Crap, another thing we gotta buy gifts for.



I'm gone to sleep... If you want (and I pray to God who holds up our boneless bodies that you do) click on the title up above and look at a good post from two or three years ago.



You ain't missin' no new stuff. Sarah's grandfather slept over yesterday. Showed us some magic. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. 



(yawns... trembles) 



Good night.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



click ~> PEANUTS ... to browse all episodes.

click ~> HELLO! ... to join me on Twitter. 



please comment. thank you. 

DEALING WITH A VAMPIRE IN THE FAMILY ... 4/14/15

<more on the confrontation between the Vampirina, Sarah, and her mortal grandfather>


Sarah couldn't bear to watch the old man cry, so she said something. She asked - How did you find me? How did you find this place?..... Her grandfather sniffed and said - I have people. You're not the only ones. They followed you... you and that strange little girl. Is she, in any way, yours?.....

Sarah said - No. Do you mean did I make her?... No. 

Did 'he' make you? - he said.

Jonathon said - If you mean me, my name is Jonathon ben Macabi, or Tomas de Macabea and your granddaughter creates herself. I merely opened a door.

The old man chuckled. Not a happy chuckle, but a judgmental, hard chuckle. He said - You, low-life, demonic bastard. You, Spanish-Jew son of a bitch. You can kill me. I know you can do that. At my age and with what I've been through, that doesn't scare me, but what did you do to my granddaughter?

Jonathon moved to respond, but Sarah stopped him - No, you don't have to say anything to him. (to old man) What do you call me 'granddaughter' for? You were never like a grandfather to me. You hated us. You hated all of us. My father couldn't stand you. (to Jonathon) My mother needed medical help. She was being eaten up alive and had only the most basic 'health' coverage. The 'concerned' medical doctors suggested treatment after treatment that 'might' help, provided we could pay. Compassion isn't free, you know. We asked him. He turned us down....

I had my reasons - whispered the old man.

I'll bet you did - said his granddaughter as she burned him with her eyes.

The 'grandfather' didn't say a thing. 

Jonathon said - Why did you come here...to torment her?... to disrespect me? She helped you. She didn't have to but she did. You were an object lesson to a little girl. She took Annie with her to teach her how to show compassion.

The old man was not moved.

Sarah said - You may need more... blood, I mean. Not a lot. Just a drop, here and there. Would you take it?

The old man said - You're a vampire... You're a vampire. You're a vampire. You're a vampire.

You're not answering my question - said Sarah. But the old man just sat there. No one spoke. Edith peeked out from the kitchen then quickly hurried back. Sarah inhaled and said - Why is it, if I'm the 'vampire' I feel all the life sucked out of me just being around you?

He looked at her, then quietly said - I came here to help you. Don't you think I want to make things right? (to Jonathon) And please forgive my inexcusable and unwarranted attack on your faith and background, but I'm an old man and the product of a questionable age.

Jonathon nodded.

Now tell that witchy-woman in the kitchen to bring me more wine.

Edith did... but she was nervous and at the last moment tripped on the edge of the fine, hand knotted 'Turkey' carpet under the cocktail table, sending the bottle cartwheeling through the air, til the old man, in a smooth gesture, steadied the vintage and brought it securely within his liver spotted grasp.

They all looked. The old man refilled glasses all around and said - Well, now you know...

<more next time>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

click ~> TAP THE MAGIC ... to see all episodes of Vampire Wonderland.
click ~> THE CONVERSATION ... to join me on Twitter.
please comment. thank you.

Vampire Sarah And Her Mortal Grandfather Have It Out... 4/13/15

<continuation of 4/9/15 episode>

They were watching television... Game of Thrones. Jonathon liked that show. Had lots of ideas... A vampire dynasty ruling from a great, somber, mountain redoubt.... Icy, grey stones... echoing halls spanned by giant timbers. And they spoke only Vahmpergahn, the night-folk dialect  roughly equivalent to German and related tongues. 

Sarah said - Are they noble vampires or noxious? Which breed? ..... Neither - He said. They're practical. And you know how my type reveres La Ciencia Vampirismo? Well, their kind look to Die Alt Buch..... So, they're like another version of you, but with the details changed and less moral? - she said.... Jonathon just shrugged. He did contact the shows producers by Email, though I don't know what came of it. 

Then he said - You know, I was in Washington all through April of nineteen forty five, Roosevelt's last days. We knew he was sick. You could see it. A few of us went down... myself... another vampirino from Albany and a young, idealistic vampirina from Havana. We conversed in Spanish. I liked that. But the government said 'no.' Not the whole government. We didn't address congress or anything like that. My God, half of them wanted him dead. But certain allies and family members reluctantly turned down our offer, fearful, lest the nation reject a leader preserved by vampire blood. Were the three of us disappointed? Of course we were. Mortals can be so 'dumb.' There's no other word for it.

Then there was a knock at the door. They looked at each other. Unexpected guests are rare. Even the man who reads the water meter knows when not to come. Edith bustled in from the kitchen. She was surprised too. Jonathon whispered - Go see who it is, but be careful...... You know how the world is today. anything could happen.

Edith quietly made her way through the central entrance hall and peeked through the viewer..... Some old man - she whispered. Should I let him in?

Sarah looked at Jonathon like she knew what was going on, but didn't want to be the one to say.... He said - Let him in.

Edith opened the door. She said - Yes?..... The old man said - Excuse me. does Sarah Davenport live here?..... Edith said - Give me a minute... Then she closed the door right in his face, went into the den and said - Is that you, Sarah? I forget. What should I do?..... 

The vampirina looked down at her hands and said - Let him in.....

Edith hustled back to the door and opened it. The old man waited for an answer.... She said - Come on in.... He nodded and followed her back through the black and white checkered hallway lit by the little, porcelain, 'China trade' lamp, through the kitchen and into the den. 

The old man looked at Sarah and she looked at him. Then he broke down and cried and it's a terrible thing when old folks cry. Jonathon clicked off the TV out of respect. Edith got the old man a little wine. He drank it down.

Sarah said - Why'd you come here? I don't have anything to say to you. I saved you. I pulled you through the other night. Now get out of here.

But the old man didn't leave. He just looked at her and said - All I want you to do is tell me how it happened. Tell me why you did it.

Sarah said - I don't have to tell you anything.

The old man slowly looked around... at Jonathon... at Edith... at the place. He knew. He had sense. His granddaughter didn't have to say a word....

But after a few heartbeats she did... and they began to talk...

< more next time>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

click ~> See MORE ... and explore all of Vampire Wonderland ...
click ~> Talk MORE ... to join me on Twitter...

please comment. thank you.

I HAD AN ACTUAL FIRE...for real... couldn't post.. 4/12/15

This is not part of #vampirewonderland. We had a fire. No injuries. An 'in the wall' or more correctly the exterior frame around the backdoor. It was in my 91 yr old uncle's house. We live on the same block. Luckily, he noticed smoke and went outside. A neighbor saw smoke around backdoor and called fire department. I was picking up things at the market when my cell phone rang----- the police telling me about the fire. Came right back. 

'Adjusters' and repair guys swooped down immediately. They must listen to police and fire calls. We followed insurance directions and waited for their crew to come. Took hours though. Windows sealed with plywood now. They break so much and drown the rest. 

So now it's about a week til real work starts and a few more to get it all done...maybe less.
Believe me. I would have rather been on Blogger and Twitter.... plus that 'live tweet' #SNL4fun thing we do during SNL. 

Still... everything has a 'mysterious' aspect. Fire department said there was no apparent cause... and they LOOKED... No flammable items or substances near by. No frayed or questionable electric wires... Nothing....

Around here, in the city, people think about EVERYTHING. Who knows what it really could have been?

Now they'll come back tomorrow ( so far) to do more preliminary clean-up and stuff. Hope I get some sleep. God, do I need it. Uncle tucked away comfy for the night (or a few nights). So he's OK. 

This really shook my nerves and rattled my brain. Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire.

Forgive the levity.

I'm high on the fumes.

It all started around 10PMedt.
Signing off ... 4:30PMedt.

Be careful, folks...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

click ~> SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION ... to see more.
click ~> TALK ... to join me on Twitter.
please comment now more than ever. thank you.

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: A TALKATIVE SHRUNKEN HEAD TELLS HOW LYCANTHRO-SHAR...

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: A TALKATIVE SHRUNKEN HEAD TELLS HOW LYCANTHRO-SHAR...: Shrunken head like to watch Drew Carey. He like The Price Is Right, 'cause he got lot in common wiff a plinko chip. Old Woman set him u...



This is how aliens mess around with human kind. Old lady once bought a souvenir shrunken head. Turned out to be an unusual shrunken head... and it talks to her... It tells her things... and us to.



Go see~~~> Some shrunken heads know a whole lot a crap... This one knows the truth. Click on the title up above to see the actual episode.



Scroll around to find out more.



To browse all parts of Vampire Wonderland, click ~> <<o> <o>> ... and click ~> &$##@* !! ... to join me on Twitter.



paranormal is the 'new' normal...



Cheers!

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: THE PHOTOLUMINESENCE OF LIFE IN THE ABYSS

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: THE PHOTOLUMINESENCE OF LIFE IN THE ABYSS: I could feel the cold. Temperatures at that depth hover near freezing. But my body was immune to it. Hypothermia does not effect us. I supp...



What it's like to be an elferino or elferina sealed into a leaden casket and thrown into the icy gray sea.



Marianne relates her ordeal to wealthy Center City couples attending her salon.



PLEASE click on the title up above to see the whole account.



as always, click~> VAMPIRE WONDERLAND ...to see more.

to join me on Twitter, click ~> LATE NIGHT COFFEE KLUTCH ...

please comment. thank you.

Mom Win All Kind A Fancy Designer Bras At The Bingo... 4/10/15

Sarah was quiet. She didn't say much. Annie asked her why they went to the old man in the fancy apartment house, but all Sarah said was they had to go to somebody. The next night, Sarah fed. Jonathon fed too. They don't always take blood on the same night, although sometimes they do. Since they were a devout and pious band, they depended on the visions. He saw a restaurant owner. Guy had a bar and grill in Old City (nineteenth century commercial district north of Society Hill). Came on to all the waitresses. Did worse when he felt like. One girl ran out into the street to get away from him and slipped under the wheels of a trolley car. It was real late. It was winter and the streets were icy. Both legs sliced off above the knee. He went to the mother... the girl's mother. Gave her ten thousand dollars cash on behalf of her daughter, plus the sincere promise of fifteen thousand more, if she kept her quiet. She did... They needed the money. Waitress' kid had asthma. Restaurant guy felt guilty. Bought her a matched set of 'Betty Grables.' You know, that blonde, pin-up, movie actress from back in the day with them legs? Looked real nice too, like Barbie legs, or something. Girl never walked in them, though. But they photographed nice in pictures. Once, years later, the mother calls him. Asks for more money to buy new legs. Thieves broke in one night and stole the old ones, along with a television, two collectible bisque figures under little glass domes and some real expensive, designer bras the mother won at bingo. Restaurant guy tells her to drop dead. Tells her to go back to bingo and win some.

Mother sends a guy she knows over to kill him. Don't have to pay him, 'cause she used to babysit him when he was a kid. Only guy gets jumped by two thugs who know he's packin' and want the gun. Cops find him three weeks later wedged under a rock in the Delaware River. 

You want me to tell you more? I could tell you more. He was a real shit. Jonathon goes in one night after closing and takes him out. Don't say nothing. Sublimates through the wall (that boy do like his entrances). Pins him against the mirror behind the bar and drains him dry. Professional vampire can do that in about three minutes.

Sarah takes longer with her 'cull,' because she's still relatively new at it.... Then they meet at this coffee bar for some African blend they like. 

Oh yeah, before I forget. Jonathon did pocket the bastid's watch... some big, heavy, bracelet style, gold thing. Costs like twenty eight thousand dollars. Also grabbed sixty five hundred dollars out of the register. There was a guy with a gun, but he in the crapper guardin' rolls a toilet paper and air freshener. Comes running out after some bottles broke to find his boss going up in spontaneous human combustion ( you know... the flames that break out after a vampire attack). 

Sarah got a seventeen thousand dollar diamond ring and a custom made, hand knotted, human hair wig made out a Russian hair, which is the best. Google say it cost thirty two hundred dollars. 

Fifty thousand dollars, retail, between the two of them. That ain't bad. They sell little vials of vampire blood to bastids what got the money to pay for it, but ain't the kind a bastids that need killin' too. Vampires make lot a money. Don't forget, they got investments too... a thousand years worth of investments and little chests fill a all kinds a jewels. Hell, do you know how much that townhouse costs?

On the way home from the coffee bar, Jonathon tells Sarah she ought to go back and see that old man she helped  the other night. He know 'bout the relationship and all. She says that she will. Even vampirinas like they pop-pops.

Then they go into an all-night bodega to buy Edith some Pepto Bismol. She got a thing for Pepto Bismol. 

Ride the rest a the way home in a taxi, 'cause it get cold and misty.

Watch part a THE LAST WALTZ when they get there. Jonathon likes that picture... country music and The Band and all. The Night They Tore Old Dixie Down one a his favorites.

Little bit later he kill a spider and they go to sleep. That how vampire live..... Some nights all glamorous.

This one ain't.....

<more next time>

click ~> TAKE CARE A YOUR PROSTATE ... to browse all Vampire Wonderland episodes...
click ~>ICE CREAM AND CAKE to join me on Twitter.
please leave a COMMENT. Thank you.