Thursday, March 24, 2011


So this is how it played out that night. Annie made a big scene over the monkey. I know. I know. I know. He's a chimp. He's a chimp. But I call him a monkey. To me, he's a monkey. Zebulon doesn't know from those words. She cried. She pleaded. She begged. Papa was like stone. He was furious. How could she do this? Even as a 'child' should it not be instinctive? Shouldn't she know not to give the 'night-sight' to an animal? He's not an animal. He's not an amimal. The lady who had him taught him tricks. He can talk! He can talk! He can make pictures with his hands! See? See!? - she said. But all Papa saw was a one hundred and seventy pound, naked ape giving him a comic lip-grin and making fart noises with his big, old hands. Zeke, the human night shift guy was ready to shit himself. He didn't have any idea what he was going to do with this one. wilkravitz took his lap-top and burrowed deep into one of the cluttered corners. But I whispered in his ear, so he was still able to 'channel' this all. There was complete silence for a long time, not counting the monkey's fart noises and then Papa (who still felt guilty about manipulating Annie back in the Shaky Hand Man days) exhaled and says - Who is going to controll him? He's a vampire, right?.......Yeah, said Annie, (to the ape) show him your teef.....The grotesque creature smiled and rolled back his upper lip revealing a set of super-duper choppers with the tell-tale, vampire enhanced canines...... The elves and cherubs looked on in wide-eyed amazement. Edith and her Red Paint buddies just stood there saying nothing.....So Papa says - Get that son-of-a-bitch some pants!......He shoots a 'look' at Zeke, who runs off to grab an extra pair of guard's slacks from the museum locker room. Then it took them about fortyfive minutes to get the monkey-vampire to put 'em on. They had to roll up the cuffs about fifteen times. And they did droop a bit through the ass. But at least the forest beast was covered. Actually, he was not that hard to controll. Papa was able to wrap him in one of his 'mind bubbles' and that kept him quiet. Annie gave him a tom-tom from the 'native tribes of the eastern woodlands' collection. Zeke almost had a heart attack. But it did the trick. And if you did not mind the never-ending BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. you would not even know he was there. That's when the others came in. Jonathon and Luna, I mean. They just came racing down the stairs like two kids looking for a 'make out' spot. Baylah spots 'em first. She nudges Sarah and starts laughing. But Sarah (the 'wife') ain't so tickled. She just stands there like some wrathfull Assyrian priestess and cuts right through him (Jonathon, I mean)  with her eyes. He nods to her, pushes Luna behind him and goes toward her. Only she's having none of it. True, her gaze softens a bit. Her chin trembles. And a tear or two runs down her cheek. But she moves back, presses against Baylah and starts to cry......How can you bring that cheap, whore back here?- says Baylah, as she puts her arms around the distraught vampirina.......I had to. I didn't have any choice. I was all alone. I didn't have anyone. I thought she (Sarah, he means) was always gonna be like that (petrified, he means). I didn't know he (Papa) was gonna get her back! - spits out Jonathon....Papa doesn't get involved. He just sits there......Luna doesn't say anything either. But she makes one mistake. She smiles. More of a smirk actually and Sarah sees it. So she tears free from Baylah's embrace and leaps through the air with claws flying. Luna turns and darts into one of the other storage rooms. But it's no use. The slightly more experienced vampirina barrels through the neat stacks of cartons and pins her against a wall. BAM! BAM! Fists fly. Girl slap! Buttons pop! Blouse rips! Hair pulls! Cheek scratch! Cartons fall all over the place. Everybody crowds into the doorway to watch. They all yell, but no one can stop it. Papa just stays in his chair breathing in that little aroma candle he always carries. Annie spins around doing one of her 'happy, happy, joy, joy' dances. And the monkey starts screeching and playing with himself.....Then Jonathon starts yelling. He says - Stop it! Please, stop it!....But nothing happens. More brassieres get ripped up. Wardrobes malfunction. Breastisses go wild and the battle goes on. Zeke collapses down on the floor like he's having the 'big one.' He can barely get out the words. He says - How am I gonna explain this to the boss? How my gonna splain this to d'boss?......Papa walks over, leans down and says - How much?......Zeke manages to whisper - Fifty thou. Fifty thou. Fifty thou.......Papa pulls out his checkbook and signs one right then and there. He lets the pale green slip waffle down onto the heaving night-guard's chest. Zeke grabs it, studies it and is instantly cured. Then Papa (ever the dapper gent) neatly steps over him, parts the crowd in the doorway and strides right into the cat fight. Well these were vampirinas, so it was really a bit more like a lioness fight. He just raises his hand and says one word - STOP!!.....Instantly, an unseen force grabs  both of the half naked combatants and hurls them against the wall. BOOM! The few remaining upright shelves rattle, as the two ladies slide down to the floor.....All is quiet. Papa  goes over to Luna, offers his hand and says - I'll take care of this one. You (Jonathon, he means) go take care of your wife.......Jonathon crawls over to a sobbing Sarah. He takes her in his arms. He kisses her. And he cries a little too. The 'people' in the doorway discreetly wander off. Even the monkey had sense enough to leave...........

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