BAYLAH WANTS TO TALK

I got the horn tonight. It's me, Baylah. Just got back from the Jersey Shore. Not that cartoon MTV thing. I'm talking about the real deal. Look, I know you know my 'boyfriend' has a nice beach house down there. And I do like to play poker. The restaurants, obviously, hold little charm for me. Oh, sometimes (when my mister) eats, I do take inventory of all the fat asses at the other tables and occassionally pick out 'something' for later. Yes, I stick to the rules. It's always somebody who deserves it. What do you think? But we did see a good Cher impersonator the othe night working one of the lounges. And she did give me the mike, because you know how everyone says I look like Beyonce? Well, the band goes into All the Single Ladies and I belt it out real good. Vampires can do that. We are an extremely talented breed. People were clapping and clapping... But you know what? It's hard at times, because they think we're monsters. I'm not a monster. I have feelings too you know.

Sometimes I walk into maternity hospitals. I go right up to the glass and smile at the new born babies. Nobody stops me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all about that vampire 'stink eye' stuff. And sure, maybe that's it...partially. But what I do, is always carry a couple of nice  gifts, stuffed animals (the good kind), or a short stack of high-priced, hard cover children's story books. If they do ask (and they very rarely do), I'm somebody's aunt. I love watching the little ones. It relaxes me. And I do leave the gifts at the nurses' desk. I suppose somebody gets them. Sure I pick up stuff for the cherubs once in a while. That's fun too. Yet if I walk through one of those indoor shopping galleries they got in some of the big money buildings around here and see some pudgy, little cutie in a stroller, I think--- would my baby have looked like that?.....God only knows. I talk about this with my boyfriend. He says I still must have DNA in the middle of all my cells. The only thing is, I don't know if it's 'live' DNA, or just a preserved record of what was once DNA. Who can tell? Maybe one day that will be enough.

Maybe one day humanity will stop being so judgemental and afraid. Maybe then vampires will finally be accepted. Some of us could work in hospitals, providing drops of blood for  otherwise hopeless cases. Bet the docs will try to find a way to bill for that. Other ones might be humane executioners within the prison system. Some might just be pilates instructors. Who the hell cares? Maybe it'd be a good idea to forget about those humane executioners, because in my ideal future, they're not still executing people. Want to hear something funny? Sometimes I actually wonder if we're ever gonna see a vampire president of the United States. Probably have a werewolf president first (if there were werewolves). People like dogs. Ahhhh, I'm just talkin'.....But I would like to see how flowers look in sunlight though.

Papa says they used to love and revere life-eaters when he was comin' up. So what happened? Why does God keep makin' us? We must be good for something. Maybe I'll kill myself a no good rotten bastard tonight. That ought to make me feel better.........