Thursday, October 6, 2011


By Billy Kravitz and  but I guess you already know that, because you're here. Don't blame me. One of the 'elves' made me do it...

Now jinns are not possessed of a corporal form. True, they can ape the physical appearance of any creature, but left to their own devices, these entities prefer to zap through the firmament with the red hot freedom of a lightning bolt. So when Sarah attempted to sublimate into the old Ottoman villa, she saw no one. Her head silently passed through the thick, plaster, stone and concrete wall. Then her shoulders. Next the breasts (that always makes her wince, since you can imagine the pain a sudden solidification would cause). Arms are easy. They're relatively thin. The ribs and spine cause a bit of discomfort. She could feel every tiny stone and particle in the wall. But she was used to that. Even the pelvic part wasn't that bad and a misstep here has been known to drive vampires mad.

But something went wrong with the legs. Some mommentary blip in the ether distracted her and she hiccuped. Not a big thing in and of itself.....Except when evil jinns are watching. Of course you understand that magic is mostly illusion. I speak not of Kreskins and Copperfields, but of a more  complete experience. Would you like an example? Then ponder your own existence. Look in a mirror. Study your form. Dance about a bit. Stick out your tongue. You know what modern day necromancers (called physicists) say about that? They say is is just an elaborate projection. They say we (and everything else) inhabit a two  dimensional membrane stretched over forever. And Whatever Power it is that deems to give us animation, quickens us into a three dimensional form. All without the encumbering necessity of any uncomfortable, cardboard glasses. Imagine that.

So the evil jinns pulsed out of their usual plain, assuming the form of six thousand spiders.. somewhat.large, stiff-haired, repulsive arthropods. They scurried out of the darkness, scratching their tiny, two-clawed feet over every part of our house breaking vampirina.... into her hair.....tickling her ears.......molesting her lips........ biting her nipples..... and driving her mad.

The concentration required when sublimating was lost. The upper part oof her body, to a point approximately three inches below her hips, tumbled down onto the smooth, tiled floor. But her legs took a different route, solidifying  on the other side of this stout barrier. As soon as that happened, the creepy-crawlers vanished. And a crippled young Sarah (still on the bright side of thirty after all) writhed screaming in crushing pain, as the pink, watery drool that passes for vampire blood seeped out of her stumps. The two evil jinns convulsed with stratchy laughter from their seats on a nearby, mohair divan. It doesn't take long for them to reconstitute. A pair of skeletal, withered, desiccated corpse puppets, jibber-jabbering away in the orange glow from a small, ceramic hearth, and pointing fleshless digits at the  mutilated lady-thing screaming at their feet. While out beyond the wall, carrion dogs (often in cahoots with such beings), bit into the more-than-human legs and ran off.

You may not know it, but vampires can regenerate. Purloined body parts grow back. It takes time, maybe a few nights, or a few weeks. But it happens, provided the surviving  bits and pieces fall into sympathetic hands. And in this case...the victim...was not so blessed..........

The skinniest corpse thingie hopped down. Part of a dry, brittle foot snapped off, but so what. For it's all just illusion. And a quick, sleek rat streaked out to clean up the mess. Look, his cousins were also eager to join the feast. At first they raced to the jinns. A bite here. A nip there. But the tricky demons just cackled as they threw them off.  One (for some reason, I think it was the male) spat out some words in an unknown language, sending the inflated, oily mousykins running off to taste their true main course.

Could she fight them off? Did she have that vampiric ability? Who knows? But she panicked...and laid there crying, as her eyelids and earlobes proceeded to disappear.............


Brrrrrrr! The Nutcracker was never like this............Oh, before you  go, scroll down to the bottom of our 10/3 post for a new addition  to our useful assortment of (other people's) links.

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