Saturday, July 7, 2012


It was Baylah's idea. She likes the new Revel Hotel and Casino. I think they call them spas now too. Anything but 'gambling joint.' They never say that word. Nobody loses. They just buy too much entertainment. So she and the blood drinking Bickersons (Tomas and Sarah) called for a car and left. That's what they do. They call for a car. It's something new. Tomas has this familiar who owns a limo service. The drivers don't know what they 'do' for a living, just a trim, stylish, darkly handsome young guy and his chocolate and vanilla luscious sweeties. A lot of high rollers are like that. Well, not a lot. Most are hairy knuckled, old fat guys, but a few...a few.

They play Nights In White Satin. You know, TheMoody Blues. Days of Future Passed is a current favorite of his. Tomas, I mean. Has it on that little gum stick thingie he calls an iPod. Oh, and they brought me too. 'Me' is wilkravitz. Gave me twenty five hundred dollars in gambling money and everything. Even bought me some new sneakers, high priced ones too, from that posh, ocean front mall that connects to Caesar's. Did it as soon as we checked in. Once in a while they're really nice to me. All I gotta do is post for them right before we go to sleep, which at this time of year is like 4:50am. I can't tell you what kind of sneakers the got me. Baylah says we need a 'product placement' thing first. Her boyfriend tells her all that stuff. He's like a big financier lawyer. Looks like Mitt Romney, only his breath stinks. I don't know. Maybe Mitt's breath stinks too, only I ain't never smelled it. Can you imagine that? Candidate give a press conference, nod and say - The lady wit' the ill fitting brassiere in the second row....... She stand up and go - How come you breath stink?..... And he gotta answer it..... Like when Howard Stern used to send people to torment Regis in the street.

We in Mister Stinky Breath's regular suite right now. His sister usin' the big house in Margate and she would shit herself all over them Brazilian hardwood floors if she thought she was 'roomies' wit'  a bunch a vampires. You know some folks are just not very tolerant.

Edith did not come with us. She tryin' a talk sense to  Annie and her forty year old baby doll, Conrad. Tryin' a dissuade them from hightailin' it out to L.A., so's they can bust into the talk show business. You know six or seven year old vampires get the stupidest ideas. Annie say they got a agent in California who pimp for vampires. Say she talk to him on the telephone. Real ones too. Not them soap opera-johnnies they throw at you these days.

Edith catch her lookin' for money. Say she gonna hide them boxes real good. Annie say - You better not, you fat bitch, not if you wanna keep them scrunched-up, hammer toes you got........ But Edith ain't scared. What genuine, Jersey Pine Barrens, hoo-doo woman gone be scared of a little bastid like that? Wait'll Papa get back. He gone go POW, right to the Outside a the Sun. That the hottest part. Annie say Edith look like a old lady version a that fat, little, rolly-poly girl they got in Hairspray. Annie like that show.......'Good Morning, Baltimore!'.....she sing it 'bout a million times.

We gettin' dressed a go see Sarah Silverman. She gonna talk trash 'bout Jesus and Moses and Lucille Ball and Silly Putty and everything. Then she gonna smile at the audience and make faces, so we know how cute she is. Tomas don't like her. He a holy-roller...a Jew, holy-roller, but a holy-roller. Kind a complicate things for a vampire, but he find ways a work around it. 

Afterward, late at night. We gone go under the Boardwalk an' give out hundred dollar bills to poor folks. One lucky son-a-bitch gonna get hisself  the deed to a two bedroom, two bath condominium apartment in Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey. Vampires got lots a shit like that. Once they gave a guy a whole set a gold false teeth....not to wear... to sell. A cleanin' lady waitin' for a bus once got a genuine, all diamond, solid platinum, Autro-Hungarian tiara. Looked good on her too.

Semi-dead folks can be generous that way.

Papa (Luna too) should be back from Mermaid and Merman Land tomorrow night. 

Bet that Annie gal startin' a shit a vampirina matter a speakin'...

Mister Never-You-Mind waftin' through me. That how come I talk like this. But if you a friend, you know'd that for a long, long, long, long time.


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