Thursday, July 14, 2016


I grab the magic talking book from that Billy. We have a few similar devices down in the tunnels. I know a bitsy 'bout these things. He don't want to let it go. I say - Do you want me to be a powerful friend or a powerful enemy? No, not your enemy, your executioner.... He give me a look. I smile and let him see new fangs..... I go - Well?... He slides it over.... I am no thief. That Billy will get it back. But I want you to hear about me FROM me. For as far as I know, there had never been another like me since the time before the moon. I do not mean the real time before the moon. It is just an expression. But you know that.

I am Cressida, formerly known as Aura. They both mean same thing. And I am first never-die vampirina in dis place we call 'the world'.... What does this mean?... It means I have more smart stuffed into my skull than any mortal, or originally born mortal creature on Earth. Other worlds, I do not know. Their magic is their magic and what they do with it is their affair.

Papa, my creator, has no idea. That twenty eight thousand year old vain bastid.... Oh, he look just like young Richard Gere... SCREW Richard Gere. If he was young Richard Gere I would. But he is not, so ha ha ha ha ha!

If I go on WHO WANT TO KILL ALL DE MILLIONAIRE AND TAKE ALL THEY MONEY, I win the whole thing, especially if they are asking me de history question. I thumb my nose at history question because I live every bit of it.  I see Queen Marie Antoinette naked. You know that? A make pretend French girl. I see her. I have it de sex with Hercules... the REAL Hercules, not Lou Ferrigno. And I once shoplift sweater with de young Elizabeth Taylor. I say - Elizabeth,why you not kill that Eddie Fisher bastid and say some other dumb bastid do it?... She say she think about it, but obviously she do not. Squeaky voice bitch.

Now I run de street and go SEX SEX SEX!... If I like, they live... If I not like... I go - Yum! Yum! Eat 'em up!.. Please do not think I shout those words all up and down city.  Cressida does not do that. She kill lowlife rotten bastid with style and panache.

I feel SO GOOD to be free from de many tunnel. Mole-folk papa not know I here. Mole-folk sister (Sylvia) not know I here. Want to send them letter, but post office bitch say they not deliver to sinister underground place, so I kill her. Now she know for real...

Have you ever see me? You know if you do. Cressida very much beautiful thing. I got smooth, creamy, olive skin... long curly, rich brown hair... dark green eye... nice, heart shape face and pretty tittie... both of dem.... They both pretty.

I wear mink stole, PHILADELPHIA ZOO baseball cap and Converse ALL-STAR sneaker... de black ones... de real ones. All over every place else I am naked. Vampirina can do that. If I see cop... if I see crazy old lady... if I see f*ck face anybody, I make de vampire eyes and they not see me. Sometime I tickle them and they do not see me. Sometime I pull pants, inside pants, outside pants, down to ankle and they not see me.... Never-die vampirina have fun. Many people like see me. They go - WOO! WOO! WOO! .... Some I make de sex with. Some I kill.... Look, what can I do? You know how it is.

Why I am talking this way? I not know. Papa say it because new vampire nature upset never-die nature and all de different life I got inside a me all mixed up. Who cares? So what? Drop dead.

Now, go do what you do. I watch JAMES CORDEN den I run naked in streets...

<more next time>


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