Friday, August 19, 2016


So Doctor Franklin, the 'midwife' who helped birth America and shaped many of the national institutions we hold dear today, became a life-eater. He's a vampire now. God knows what he'll do to that world. Jonathon sat with him during the shedding of the skin. When it was done, the old reprobate was mesmerized. He could not look away and studied his smooth-skinned naked image in an antique cheval mirror from his residence, deep within the Anti-Enchantment Bureau ... No need for a traditional vampire slumber cabinet. The whole place is underground as it is.... just a huge, sprawling, quasi private, quasi governmental, uber tech complex with ties to kings, princes, presidents and oligarchs the world over. And now he's 'cured.' Now he's essentially immortal.

Franklin says - I haven't had skin like this since Du Barry was a lady. What about my face? Will my bone structure change too?

No - says Jonathon. Every cell in your body is the best it can possibly be... not different, just perfected.

Pity - says the old patriot. I always fancied a jawline. God damned Jefferson... he had the jawline. Isn't it strange how much I still think of them... those others... the 'founding fathers' I mean.  Been food for worms all these generations and yet (taps his right temple) they're all still right here.

That's not so strange - says Jonathon. I still obsess over scriptural commentators from before the Norman Conquest. You know that.

Franklin pirouettes, smiles and nods - Oooh look! My hammer toes are all gone. And my pot belly seems a little bit diminished! Don't you think?

It's the increased muscle tone, the improved posture. Your wattle's a bit firmer too - says his vampiric friend.

I know. Noticed that right away - says Franklin. (studies his 'wee wee') Tell, me. I know I should know this, been studying all of you for years, but will I ever pee again? You have to understand. I've been an old man, a scientifically preserved one, but still 'old' for so long and a good pee really means a lot.

Well, all I can say is, every part of your body is in perfect working order. Whether you 'need' a spleen, or a bladder, or an adrenal gland, I don't know. Some vampires report peeing, some do not. I think it's a psychological thing. If you need to pee, you will pee - says Jonathon.

And what about sex? - asked the 'healthy' old man.

Jonathon shrugs - I suppose. We don't reproduce, not that way, but that 'thing' you got is all tuned up now. The 'lecher of Paris' is back , so to speak. I don't think you have any viable sperm. Years and years and years of all those 'harmonic wave' treatments might have stretched your mortal life, but come on... Look, you were eighty four years old when you started. What do you expect? Coitus, yes. Babies, no. And you will never have any new reproductive cells. Those you might have will remain viable for a few days at most. Then, they'll swim within your coin purse for as long as you endure, or until you set them free.

God willing - says the white haired vampire.... and he chuckled....

Get dressed - says Jonathon. It's time to go out. It's time to feed. Don't you feel it? Don't you want it?

Oh, indeed I do, my good 'young' man. Indeed I do - says Franklin. Now go. Go, go, go. Wait in the sitting  room. I'll be with you accordingly.... as he runs his fingers through his newly thickened locks.

Jonathon smiles, gets up and exits... as he goes he whispers - dress for success.

But when the door clicks shut, Franklin's whole demeanor changes. His gaze hardens. He runs his tongue along his teeth, then begins to whistle 'The Teddy Bear's Picnic' ( an old night-folk  favorite)... When you go out on the street tonight, you're in for a big surprise....

<more next time>


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