Monday, June 13, 2011


Here's another little peek into the pages of LA CIENCIA VAMPIRISMO, an ancient tome, much prized by vampires and other students of arcane foorces.

FIRST KNOW THIS - The recitation of sing-song words and rhymes in no way brings about, or causes any 'magical' events to take place. Such things only serve as crutches, to focus the mind and amplify personal auras.

True magicians cannot create something out of nothing. They momentarily slip into a realm  (the modern world uses the term 'parallel universe') where such objects, or conditions exist. Then they manage to 'take hold' of these manifestations and bring them back into their own, natural realm.

The acts of a sincere practitioner in no way rely on supernatural powers or beings. These conjurings are brought about via the developement of natural mental abilities possessed by us all.

Open your eyes. See what you know is there. Indeed, one of the oldest scraps of wizardry to come down to us stems from a people before the 'time of the moon.'.....a knowing band inhabiting Hispania long before even the Phonecians. They wrote these words (reproduced here in Latic Script)--- Scotosh Beedosh, which means ----'Be willing to see what you know you see'...or 'Believe your eyes.'

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Meanwhile, in Jerusalem...................Jonathon and Sarah were rendered pure in the Eyes of God, via three quick, tepid dunkings in one and three quarters inches of water filling the bottom of a blue, porcelain sink in the bathroom of a fat woman with her hair done up in a sloppy bun. She scooped them up and carefully placed them down on the middle of a cool, cotton duvet covering a large bed in her sleeping chamber. Then she gestured to the British rabbi (who delivered them to her tucked away in a small, velvet lined jewelry box). He threw open the draperies, allowing a rich, creamy shaft of moonlight to penetrate into the room and bathe the pristine comforter in its milky glow. The two human shaped beings occupying the navel of this all-natural-fiber plain slowly began to sublimate out in all directions, regaining normal size.........Sarah (the female on the bed) said - Thank you for restoring us. But would it be too much to ask for the loan of some little outfits, so that we might venture out on the streets and look for our friends?..........Who are their 'friends'? - snapped the big woman with the loose bun............The British rabbi cleared his throat and said - As near as we could tell, a woman who looks exactly like the American singer known as 'Cher' and a resurrected Beatle, known as John Lennon. He, I can assure you, is quite real. And his singing voice is very much intact too..........The big woman did not like these complications and she grumbled as she scrounged around in a huge wardrobe searching for appropriate garments. When she was satisfied, she tossed them onto the naked pair, pushed the foreign clergyman out of the room and bellowed - Hurry up and dress yourselves. We do not have much time.

Jonathon and Sarah did as they were told. He wound up with a polyester tennis outfit, circa nineteen seventyfive (remember those little 'hot pants'?). And she managed to slip into a plain, though well-cut bridal gown, which appeared to be a decent 'knock-off' of Vera Wang's Spring twothousand and three line. The bedroom door opened. Two sealed, cellophane packages, each containing a fresh pair of white, rubber 'flip-flops' (Japanese zori sandals) were thrown into the room. And so our two vampire travelers, each dressed in bright white from head to toe (undergarments included) walked out into the shabby, but clean sitting room.

The rather dapper British rabbi gasped and said one word-----'Golem.'..........Then he pulled out and unfolded an copy of an old wood-cut depicting such a creature. It was a bit crude, obviously drawn by an amateur. Yet the likeness portrayed was a likeness of Jonathon. So his sojourn in that 'other worldly' Prague not too long ago apparently had been completely and utterly real............................................

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