Wednesday, June 12, 2013

This is The End Trailer 2013 Movie - Official [HD]...and we had to fight our vampire, Jonathon, to get him to let us post this ... 6/12/13

Jonathon, our resident vampire leader, didn't want to let us post this clip, because he's a thousand year old 'Rite of Spain' (Sephardic) Jew and he takes his faith very seriously. Doesn't believe in a rapture prior to the resurrection of the dead. But he ain't part of that JUDD APATOW clique and we wanna make points with them, so he gonna have to be a little bit more accommodating. 'Sides, he gonna star in a big part a this post what comin'  next.

So go see this movie, a pixilated, semi-scripted romp through some people's take on 'end times.' We tried to get a Heavenly Representative to weigh in on this, but the little kids on the block were running around outside playing 'kill the monster before he gets on the bus.' (for's a game they play...looks like a junior apocalypse in it's own right... nobody walks down the street while it's gone on.... dogs pee in the kitchen and 
 everything). Think it interfered with the signal, the game, I mean. Or perhaps Heavenly Beings only get involved in disputes over dramas? I do not know. I just do not know...

Now back to our own 'arc' or 'treatment' or whatever it is...

Jonathon is getting real hungry. And as a life-eater he still doesn't know if it's the blood that satisfies, or the actual taking of the life. None of them know. There are vampiric 'lines.' There are chains. Most try to be moral. Some very much so. Jonathon, when he was living in the townhouse, wouldn't let nobody watch Jerry Springer, or even old Married With Children reruns. Edith used to sneak and do it when he wasn't around. Not like he never went whoring with them mole girls down in the tunnels. But I guess 'cause it hidden, it don't count.

Now he thinkin' 'bout killin' a guy.... that tattoo man. Three a them still sittin' under a rustic, little picnic pavilion in a park or a state forest up near Penn State. Still rainin'. Tillie say she gotta go pee. Nobody answer, so she gets up and runs over to where the cement slab ends and the grass (I think it's grass... maybe weeds) starts, drops her pants, squats down and makes water. Gets a little wet from the rain, but she don't care. 

Jonathon whispers - You know what you put those people through? Do you know what it's like to be sealed in your own body under a grotesque, full suit, and not just a 'full suit,' but a full suit 'Spiderman' style with a ski mask, gloves and socks too? Do you know that?....... Guy goes - No, I do not know that. I'm a psycho, OK??.... And then he laughs... Jonathon doesn't like that. He lunges forward and bites off the guy's left earlobe. Blood spurts everywhere. Tillie comes back. She wants to say something, but just looks and sits down. Guy screams - Are you crazy!? Are you crazy!? You said it wouldn't hurt! Look, if you're gonna do it, do it! I don't care. Screw you! I don't care, you bastard, son of a bitch!.(then it dawns on him) You're trapped in your body! You're the one! You're the one!... And he starts laughing like a maniac.... pounding the table and kicking his feet... Stunted, little naked gnome thing that watched Tillie and him at that other place runs out of the woods dancin' and clappin.' Gnomes like a good show. Don't know how he knew they were here, but he knew. Tillie throws a rock at him, but he deftly pivots his fat little hips and gives her the finger.... gives her double fingers. .... Jonathon shoots him an angry look and the chubby grotesque flies up in the air and slams against a tree..... They hear him go 'oof' as he slides down into the wet mud and runs away.

Tattoo guy goes - Whoa!..... Jonathon goes - I have been trying not to kill you. I've been trying to give you a chance..... Tillie sighs. She wants him to die, 'cause a her brother...... But I'm done trying - says the vampire..... Then he
 just sits there. Tillie don't know what's gonna happen. Starts drumming her nails on the table.... Jonathon fakes a lunge. Guy shrieks and flinches. Jonathon smiles. He sniffs and says - You just pee yourself?... But the guy starts to tremble. He manages to whisper - Do it. Do it. Just do it. Do it....... Jonathon says - I'm not gonna do it..... The guy exhales.... Then the vampire goes - They're gonna do it... He snaps his fingers and at least two dozen fat, naked gnome things fly out of the darkness, mouths agape and claws flexed, as they cover the tattoo man in a feeding frenzy of flabby quivering flesh. Piranhas couldn't do as much.

Tillie scrambles away to avoid the splatter. A ripped out eyeball skitters 'cross the table 'fore a hungry, little demon  swoops down to slurp it up.

The victim moans, as he's flensed alive...... Jonathon leads Tillie away.....

But he has to find another meal...
(more tomorrow)
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