Sunday, March 16, 2014

VIRAGO 'BORN' WITCH - PIG BLOOD ANNIE crosses into Philadelphia ... 3/16/14

She crossed over the bridge. Pig Blood Annie made her way along the pedestrian catwalk, a big-boned, over weight Piney woman in a house dress and flip-flops. Some drivers looked. Smart ass kids honked at her. They yelled stuff. But she didn't care. Witch don't feel no cold. Witch don't care what 'worms' do. That's what they call regular folk what can't conjure shit. 'Worms'... We are worms to them. And they squish us and cut us and burn us and hook us just because they can. 

Pig Blood (what friends call her) stepped down off the Benjamin Franklin Bridge into Old City, right by the huge, more or less modern, lightning bolt sculpture meant to mark the spot where Franklin flew the kite. Man, if them 'worms' knew that old reprobate was still living they'd put him on the @SyFy network or like THE ELLEN SHOW and he'd love it, the old son-of-a-bitch. But Old City's filled with bars and clubs. Cars zoomin' by. Hateful, twenty-something yuppies (and that includes thirty-somethings too) throwin' keys to slick valet-boys who care for them Beemers like they care for your grandmother. Narrow cobbled streets full a cops and tourists... architecturally 'integrated' condos and art galleries... fistfights too, after the bars close. 

Cop starts givin' Pig Blood the eye. Think's she's a drunk. Who else would walk around like that? She see's him and feels like playin' a little. Don't get into Philadelphia much, so what the hell? Goes down an alley behind some shops. Tight little place big enough for trash cans, recycling bins, winos what gotta take a piss, grease, mold and ashes. Gets dark real fast too. Fifteen feet in and light from the street looks like a distant doorway. Storekeepers 'sposed a put up security fixtures and they do... just don't turn 'em on. Got these real heavy, thick, metal anti-break-in doors. Nobody gone through them. Only open them once or twice a week to put trash out... no garbage, just trash. So, you know. Witch goes in real deep. Has to squeeze her ass passed all them bins. Cop gets off his bike, pushes it into the dark. so nobody take it. Clicks on flashlight. You know how they hold it? Like a bottle. Like shining light out the bottom of a bottle. He a kid-cop. Twenty eight, thirty two. Can't be no more than that. Light bouncin' 'round like outta scary movie. First here, then there... Old bricks... Sexy-curse-words... dead cat... what look like a human turd... Could be like from a chimpanzee or a gorilla. But ain't never heared a no gorilla or chimp walkin' 'round down here, 'less they do it incognito. Cop hear laughin'... quiet, wheezin' laughin'.... He stop, raise up light an' go - Ma'am, you alright?.... Just hear laughin'.... Light see big, meaty shoulder, thick strap from old house dress, little tattoo... Maybe jus' a bug? I don't know.,.. Light see her face... little chin... big, ole cheeks... l'il piggy eyes.... Oh, yeah, forgot the fat nose..... Cop go - What you doin' lady? Ain't you cold?.... But witch-woman doan say nothin'. Jus' make like she laughin' only nothin' come out. ... Cop get little bit too close. She look like old neighbor lady what once half kill two husbands, so he feel bad... Can't do that 'round no witch, 'specially this one, 'cause she got like a Medusa app. She look at him an' he just stand there. Flashlight fall, clatter on cement. It roll somewhere, but I don't know where. Pig Blood pick up her beefy hands and grab his arms, right below the shoulders. Young cop sob a little, but that all he do. Then she lift him up off his feet, open malf real wide... like a sea lamprey. It stretch real big, grotesque and terrible. Teeth gone all the way around. Don't stop for nothin'. Tongue dancin' back and forth like a big, fat, moray eel. 

First the head go in. He shakin'. He sweatin'. He tremblin' real bad, but that's all he do...Tongue all over it. Lick him all over. Cop's glasses dissolve. That the magic part. Shoulders go in. Clothes dissolve too. He got badges, leather and all, but it disappear jus' like that. He moan. He go - No. No. no.... Cry and all. Think about his baby. Think about his wife. Think about his mama... his brother... his papa. Head down in witch's belly by now. Neck stretch real wide. Inside a whole lot bigger than outside, 'cause she got the magic an' all. Hips go in. Legs go in. Then, jus' for fancy, she bite the feet off. He stuck inside a tight, hot, heavy, wet, acid, burning sack. Feel dark, stifling guts pressin' in all 'round him. He gone die. Innocent, young, cop boy gone die. Gone take a while, but he will.

From outside, Pig Blood Annie just a big, sloppy thing again. But she fix that. start changin' 'fore she leave that alley. Body slim down. Arms get skinny. Wattle go bye-bye. Toes get clean. Chankles go where the bad chankles go. An' she back out on the street. Face all smooth and wonderful. Teeth look clean an' nice. Got nice clothes. Fresh underwear an' all. Don't stink none. 

Jus' another bastid yuppie-gal walking down Yuppie Street in the middle a Yuppie Town, 'cept this one got a still not dead, cop boy in her belly.

Ooooh! Look how pretty her pocketbook is.....


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1 comment:

John L. Harmon said...

I would not want to meet Pig Blood Annie in a dark alley...or even a light one!