The Internship Rapid Fire EXCLUSIVE Vince Vaughn Interview (2013) - Movi... HOT MOVIE TRAILERS produced this winner...SEE It and then...visit our part of the forest.

Whew! Every time they let me add copy UNDER these stellar clips I get SO HAPPY! Not too digitally savvy and usually wind up with the clip down at the bottom, but not tonight. Hope you enjoy this fast, smart interview and pass it on to your people. Everybody in 'the industry' really likes Vince Vaughn. Fans like him too. Watch and see why. He's genuine and it shows. 

And now let me take you to the place where the paranormal IS normal... Bienvenido al MUNDO VAMPIRIDO...

Tillie has a brother. He mostly stays in the house. Actually, he almost always stays in the house. Sometimes he'll come out and sit on the back porch, but only when it's real late and real dark. They bought him these binoculars and he likes to look at the moon... and sometimes Mars... and sometimes Jupiter. 

Daytime people can't see him, because when they do, they want to throw up and run away.... even little kids. 

Once he accidentally crossed a guy in some bar. Just a regular local place. You know, with knotty pine walls... little cozy booths  and squeaky, round bar stools. He don't even know what he said or did. It just happened. But when he left, the guy smashed him over the head with one of those red plaid, old thermos bottles they been sellin' for the last seventy years. Think it was filled with Dinty Moore beef stew. 

Next thing he knows, the brother, I mean, he wakes up in a cramped, but clean, surgical space wearing a 'full suit' body tattoo.... even his face. Oh, the guy don't want to kill him. He knows tattooing can potentially destroy sweat glands, so he works little bare spots into the design every few centimeters or so to let out all the perspiration. Now he's Raggedy Andy. Had red hair to begin with... a very authentic touch, what with the black stitched mouth and all. Got the blue over-alls... the bright checked shirt. Look like he wearin' an anatomically correct body suit with a clearly visible denim weave. Tattoo guy was good. Nobody knows who he was. Nobody knows where he went. But everybody knows what he did. Dumped Tillie's brother out on the road.... Just like that.... No skivvies... No straw hat... No bandanna.... No nothin', 'cept for a little phrase on a white handkerchief hangin' out his left, back pocket. If you look close, it says 'If I only had a brain.'

Sure only five or six people actually seen him, but they ran around tellin' all the rest. Want to make him a scarecrow in the Halloween corn maze. Tried it one time, but the site operator said he put folks off their feed and nobody bought any hot apple cider and pumpkin pie.

So now he sits in the house yellin' answers at the TV screen during JEOPARDY and that 'Vanna Gonna Turn the Letter' game. Not much of a life if it weren't for the Orville Redenbacker Popcorn and store brand ricotta cheese they bring him from a market out on the highway.

Tillie wanna get the guy what done it. Ouija board say he tat up five other folks too. Not close by, but like within a seventy five mile radius. Made one fat lady into a gorilla woman. Turned a preacher to a gargoyle. Don't know what he did to the rest of 'em. Ouija board wouldn't say. It basically a very lazy Ouija board, if you ask me. 

She didn't wanna tell Jonathon 'bout it 'cause family like to make like it never happen. They eat with him. Couple times they go to drive-in movie with him. They use to it. But she know how sad it make him. He try growin' a beard. But it red and that only make him look like a pervert albino in some nasty lookin', form fitting Jethro Bodine get -up. An' even then, he still got them red, disc, button eyes and all.

But now her vampire boyfriend know. Oh, he did have vision 'bout some evil painter guy he gotta kill, but now he know what he been paintin'. And if that Ouija board get its fat ass out that old box and go to work, maybe they know where he live too. Central Pennsylvania got a whole mess a real pretty, little towns

An' one gone play host to a vampire...
(come back tomorrow night an' we tell you some more...)
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if you wanna wander through all we got, click on ~>SHOW ME WHAT ALL YOU GOT ... an' could you maybe leave us a COMMENT too while you're at it? thank you...

Cab Calloway - Minnie the Moocher...A favorite with VAMPIRES for some reason... 6/04/13

Jonathon hooked up with Tillie right after dusk. She got Monday's off, so they met back a the library and walked through the fields. He brought food from a WaWa convenience store just outta town. Mostly swiss cheese, grapes and apple juice. Kid behind the counter looked at him funny. But that's because he spent the day in an abandoned gas station. It had like a little interior storage room with an old fashioned slip bolt on the inside a the door. Maybe they was gonna make a second toilet out of it? Who knows? Made him smell a little greasy. He don't like that. Vampires are fussy. So he sublimated through the wall of a local Dickies store and breezed out with a pack a briefs and an orange jump suit. 'Coveralls' I guess you'd call it. Vampires can cloud folks minds when they want to. People see (sort of) a big, old life-eater tote a Kenmore mini-fridge right out a Sears store and all they know is 'damn, my groin itch something awful' or 'who prettier, Wilma or Betty?'.... It a talent most of 'em got since the beginning. Jonathon use to make folks piss theyself, 'cause it look like a big gorilla comin' to bus' them up.... He get the idea from the Three Stooges. You see, every few year he like to change things up. Now they think a alien comin'. But it a friendly alien, so that make it all right.

Tillie say he look sexy. He say she look sexy too, in her tight jeans and 'wife beater' and all. She say - Thank you. It a brand new wife beater, so it still real white. He give her the food an' she eat it. He doan have none, jus' some a the juice, 'cause he a vampire. But she doan care, 'cause she like cheese an' this way there more for her.

Then he take her into the woods. Got like a little cabin, used to be a information booth with a Coke machine for them what was hikin' The Appalachian Trail. Doan know where 'Trail Walkers' get Cokes now these days. Maybe they give 'em Mellow Yellow? I do not know. 

It real dark an' private. Few spider webs. Got like a vole or two. Vampire doan mind, but waitress-what-off-from-work say - Ewww! My ass gone get all bit up! So Jonathon do this thing where energy go BOOM! right out his body like a force field and chase all them critters away. Some little, naked gnome thing peek out from 'round the counter, but he doan mean nothin'. Jus' wanna watch, so vampire let him stay. Pine Barrens ain't only place what got strange bein's in 'em. Every dark place got 'em. Humans jus' doan like a think it.

They play rolly-poly slap-slap on top a old wood picnic table. She do get couple splinters, but he take 'em out wit' his teeth an' she like that part. He nip a little bit a her ass blood an' she like that even better. Then they mush up real close on top a they clothes an' he ask her lot a questions. Wanna find who he got kill aroun' there. Jonathon do have his 'visions,' but this new territory an' it can be confusin'. 

She want him a kill her landlord. Say it all right, 'cause that like a tradition. But he say - No.... Then she go - How 'bout my boss?... He say - Why?... She go - 'Cause he a pig.... He say - That ain't no reason. Mos' folks is pigs.... She think for a minute and go - Yeah, that is true...... After that they drink another bottle a apple juice. Then she go pee. Then they talk some more. She say - Do stuff to me. I gettin' bored.... So he wash her all up like a mama cat do her babies.... Gnome behind the counter start a giggle. But Jonathon bang on the top of it and he run away. 

He do stuff to her a long time. Then she do stuff to him...... She wanna tell him who he gotta kill, but she don't. Somethin' holdin' her back and he know it. So he spank her butt real hard... boff cheeks. Then he make her pull on them jeans an' wife-beater.'... He get dressed too. 

They walk back to her place, but don't say a word. Town all quiet an' dark an' all. Couple traffic lights blink 'yellah-yellah-yellah-yellah-yellah.'.... She go inside an' lock the door. He go back to that room in the gas station.

Can't hardly wait til nex' night, 'cause he gotta kill somebody real bad. Jonnathon jus' hope it the right one......
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if you want more vampire and paranormal tales, click on ~> Shhh, What was that? .... And I hope you liked the classic, Cab Calloway, MINNIE THE MOOCHER number we opened with. Say it got symbolic meaning for night-folk. But he was a seminal force in American popular music and you should know about him anyway... 

I am the old, disembodied spirit narrator, the creole gentleman from New Orleans, Mister Never You Mind... but most a you already know me.

The Colony Official International Trailer #1 (2013) - Laurence Fishburne...SOMETIMES PEOPLE CAN BE REAL BASTIDS and a 'snow day' ain't always what you want... Plus more 'Where paranormal IS normal stuff too... 6/02/13

Great trailer 'bout a 'dawg' eat 'dawg' world down at the bottom. But first I gotta eat a leftover sticky bun before it gets stale and channel some life-eater stuff.

more on JONATHON AS WANDERER..... The vampirino found himself on the small, main street of a little town. Two lane black-top..... Cozy 'commercial' district.... A diner... A department store that's really a jumped up five and dime...Some hardware store... A 'beautiful hairstyles for ladies' place.... Guns & Ammo outlet... Single screen, little jewel-box movie house.... and an animal hospital. Some more places went down a side street, but who the hell cares what they are. Few trees... Few benches... And a crazy albino kid sittin' on a curb eatin' raw bacon.... Scarfin' it down like pig sushi. 

Jonathon says - Yo, kid, what the hell's wrong with you? You wanna get worms?.... Crazy, albino kid goes - Already got 'em. Seen 'em 'ant farmin'' my shit three days ago. Little white suckers..... And then he hiccuped. I don't know what gut-worms smell like, but probably like what came up from his belly.

Jonathon steps back. Vampires are fastidious 'bout crap like that..... Then he says - What's the deal with this place? Got anybody need 'takin' care of?'... Alabaster Boy go - Why? Who you, Lee Van Cleef?... But our basically moral Andalusian vampire didn't know who that was, so he took the kid into the diner for a late night plate a eggs and 'taters. Tillie (she the waitress) give 'em a nice booth in the back. Not 'cause she good hearted, or considerate. But sometime guys from the telephone company come in real late (breakfast time for them) and she don't want 'em seein' that crazy, bacon fiend.  Tells him he gotta eat cooked food, 'cause the application a heat is included in the price and this ain't no freak show. So he orders the buttermilk pancakes wit' a side a turkey sausage (big, fat ones). Jonathon make him get a hot coffee too, 'cause he gonna spike it wit' a little vial a his blood. Figure it'll flush out them shit-worms.

Then Tillie go - What you want bright-eyes?... She like Jonathon. He say - Gimme some hot tea an' a 'monkey dish' full a apple sauce... 'Monkey dish' what they call them little side-order thingies in cafes and such.... Tillie go - Plain, unsweetened or cinnamon?..... Albino boy say - What you bein' smart for, you big-ass, you!? Whole town know only got one kind...... But she start gigglin' and don't answer him. Start makin' goo-goo eyes too. Kid what eats raw bacon starts gettin' disgusted. Jonathon give her a sly, little grin. Lets her see his teeth..... She go - Jesus! Mary! and Elvis! What the f*ck are you, a vampire!?..... Jonathon don't say nothin'. Jus' stare at her like that derby hat kid do in A CLOCKWORK ORANGE..... But he know if he wanna find some bastid in this town what need 'doin' she gonna be the one to tell him. So he make a little kiss at her an' she start gigglin' some more. 

Guy in the back don't see none a this. He jus' do his job. Wanna be on 'Hell's Kitchen.' Wanna cook for Chef Ramsey. Got a deer-meat recipe an' everything. Sweet an' sour. Raisins and sauce. But he also make good flap-jacks, 'cause crazy boy say they dee-licious. Applesauce come from a jar. Jonathon don't care, 'cause eatin' mortal food jus' a hobby anyway.

Now if you rode through this place some dark night on the way to Lockhaven, or say Rockview State Penitentiary, you might say - Look a that cute, little diner, jus' like outta Mayberry..... But you never gonna think what goin' on inside..... 'Less you got issues too.

Jonathon slip the boy a twenty an' send him home. Worms is all gone, for now anyway. 

Then he an' Tillie go in a alley and have some fun. But she gotta pull down her skirt and run back in when them phone company guys show up. Don't wash her hands, though. Shit, what they gone get from a vampire anyway?
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if you wanna see more, click on ~>SHOW ME MORE, YOU BIG DUMB NUT ... an' leave a COMMENT too, while you at it. now scroll down a tiny, little bit an' look at that movie...

2013 Summer Movie Preview..all the GOOD STUFF, right here.. plus a bit of our 700,000plus word opus... no, really...700,000 words...BIENVENIDO AL MUNDO VAMPIRISMO ... 6/02/13

We have to post the MOVIE TRAILERS down at the bottom. Sometimes they just won't let me stick 'em up top. I think it's something I do wrong, but I can't figure out 'what?'.....So please wander through my part of the forest for a bit and then click on the other stuff. You may be witnessing the gestation of multi-plex products yet to come... Almost 88,000 page hits. I can only hope.

+   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +

This is Jonathon. I travel further afield now. Sometimes I stay away for nights at a time. My life is simple. I hide in caves, or deep below the surface of dark, murky lakes. It's cool and I like that. A life-eater requires no oxygen. Breath is just a reflex. Although we do need air to speak.... physically, at least. Maybe one night we'll experiment with telepathy so you can see what that's like. 

I am the 'man in the dark.' I am 'the night friend.' Some just say 'the man.' Those sensitive enough to feel me, whisper - The man comes this way.... And then they grin knowingly, for someone gonna die. A bad seed will be plucked out. An evil soul will be removed... The path will be cleared. 

Many of you already know me from my nights in Philadelphia. You know the others, both mortal and everlasting. But that is not the norm. Vampires have other lives far from the hearths of men and divorced from human 'comforts.'  'Papa' knows. He's seen glaciers melt and cities fall. And he's tasted the blood of tribes just barely human. 

My ministrations are clean and discreet. A creak upon the stair... A tap at the cellar door. Perhaps you live in the country and return from a night in town? You turn down a dark, dirt road and quietly come to a stop by an isolated farm house. It's lonely. None whisper, but the trees. You look up. The sky seems immense and terrifying. And in an infinite universe, where all things are possible, who's to say an unseen force can't rip you out of this plane and put you someplace else?... Perhaps hurtling toward the 'surface' of the sun, or writhing on the cold, dry sands of Mars? You think it's never happened???... No, you hope it's never happened. 

But I am there, waiting in the starlight.... a shadow in the dark. You freeze. You stare. You doubt. Then you hurry toward the door. But the air seems to thicken and joints hold fast. Reality grows heavy and movement slows. You know the feeling from childhood dreams. Maybe they were premonitions? 

My touch is subtle and spider-like. You gasp and plead and cry, as I slowly savor your stink. But I don't say a thing. I never respond. And when it's time, usually after you've voided your bowels and emptied your bladder (death comes easier when the body is relaxed), I take your life and banish you from this realm. Where do you go? I don't know. I'm not privy to that. I think some combust upon a dark world, far beyond the center of creation... a desolate place held in the grip of a dead, black star. No light. No sound. No horizon.... Out beyond the farthest galaxy.... a cinder, lost and alone. A solitude like none other.

But that's just what I think.... the merest speculation. For I am not The shepherd, but the sheepdog.....

And I have flocks to tend.....
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for more VAMPIRE WONDERLAND click on ~>LIFE-EATERS .... your COMMENTS are welcome. leave them here or there~> ANOTHER PLACE ... good night... now watch the movie...

Cast of Les Miserables performs at the Oscars (Full Performance!!) (Plea...rent the film if u haven't seen it. Our closing act tonight. SPEAKS VOLUMES about the VAMPIRES we write about... 6/01/13

The air conditioning wouldn't work. That happens, even to vampires. Jonathon sat out in the small back garden cooling himself with a tiny, plastic, battery powered fan.  Edith drank glass after glass of Sunny-Delight.  And Annie fidgeted. She said - I wanna go to 'Lantic City. TV lady said it's not so hot there.... And she whined, but no one answered. Conrad was out wandering the aisles of an all-night supermarket and Leo was off tormenting somebody. 

I suppose they could have gone to a hotel, though sometimes night-folk suffer from a crippling ennui. They sit and they stare and they ponder. Sarah wasn't there. She was off with the vampire grandmother and her eighty or ninety year old mortal grandchildren, getting a nice bathing suit with a little skirt for the 'girl' and some kind of trunks for the 'boy' so they could go to the roof-top pool of a nearby condominium and dunk themselves a few times. What are you gonna do? They were a family. You think people forget once they cross over? You think vampires just walk away from it all? Yeah, a few do... bastids.... assholes.... Most ain't like that. They funnel money to parents in Cremona, or threaten an Agent in L.A.. They stay involved.  Then, after a few decades, everybody dies... and then they set out to save the world, just like a farmer 'culling' his herd. That's what Jonathon does. That's what a lot of them do. This isn't a new thing. Vampires didn't start five hundred years ago, or four thousand years ago, or two thousand years ago. They've always been there.... a 'shadow humanity' waiting in the darkness. Look at 'Papa.' He's twenty eight thousand years old. But he isn't here now. 'Papa' is gone and no one knows where. And soon Sarah will be too. 

Edith and Annie will stay together. They'll have money... more than enough. Jonathon will see to that.  Perhaps Conrad will remain with them? wilkravitz will too. He's all agitated... can't sleep... nervous. Feels lost 'cause he couldn't 'sell' this. Wants to get the story out there. Told everybody it was real. Said so right from the beginning. You know... That line.... That first line... 'First of all, we must agree that what comes next is fiction...'  And he didn't white-wash anything. Go back to the early parts. It's all there. The pit. The two girls. The mortal line. The 'blood' line.... They fall off the wagon once in a while. Blameless people have died too. And still he wants to change the world...... 'Change the world'.... Do you know how hard it is to paint a house? 

So the train jumps the track. But the rails still remain. One night he'll come back, to the 'cause' I mean. Perhaps he'll be a paladin, taking on individual injustices along the way..... killing a cruel boss... propping up a wavering hero.

Oh, Philadelphia won't be without night-folk. Like I said, Conrad and Leo....Blackie and Minnie... Is Minnie still living?... I don't know..... And Baylah will be here. you know, she has so much more to say. 

And don't forget The Pines.... The New Jersey Pine Barrens are real. And they are there and they are waiting.... A vast expanse of mystery deep in the heart of Megalopolis, the biggest city the world has ever known....... You've seen ads for SWAMP MURDERS?...... Please..... That's all I'm going to say.

I'm Doctor Franklin and these hot, summer days are my 'season.' I wander 'round the city in a long vest and knee britches posing for photographs with smiling tourists waiting for their table at City Tavern. When the buzzer goes off they are gone. Put in the right pocket, it's more than a buzzer. Heh, heh, heh. You know me. 

Now I've got to go back to my compound. The specimens need food. And The Grand Armonica needs tuning.

But answer me this~~~> After staying with us for more than 700,000 words, will you ever look at vampires the same way again?

They hope and they dream, just like you do... But they take everything so much more to heart. 

Oh, the story isn't ending. The story never will. But you know what I mean.

You know, there's a short, tight, polished-up version of this. wilkravitz wrote it. I think it's for the screen. PHILADELPHIA AFTER DARK, he calls it. More coherent. More linear. The characters are a bit different. I believe Jonathon is a Scotsman in that one.

But it has a line at the end, when a certain much loved vampire finally wins his death. Just before his body ignites, he sighs and says - Look for me in the knowing eyes of a child. I have been among the dead too long..... Then his ashes dance up into the sky like snowflakes and mingle with the stars...

Now listen to the song down below... and know what night-folk really are.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND browse.feedreader.com/c/Billy_Kravitz_vampire_wonderland ... your comments are welcome. good night

Cast of Les Miserables performs at the Oscars (Full Performance!!) (Plea...rent the film if u haven't seen it. Our closing act tonight. SPEAKS VOLUMES about the VAMPIRES we write about... 6/01/13

The air conditioning wouldn't work. That happens, even to vampires. Jonathon sat out in the small back garden cooling himself with a tiny, plastic, battery powered fan.  Edith drank glass after glass of Sunny-Delight.  And Annie fidgeted. She said - I wanna go to 'Lantic City. TV lady said it's not so hot there.... And she whined, but no one answered. Conrad was out wandering the aisles of an all-night supermarket and Leo was off tormenting somebody. 

I suppose they could have gone to a hotel, though sometimes night-folk suffer from a crippling ennui. They sit and they stare and they ponder. Sarah wasn't there. She was off with the vampire grandmother and her eighty or ninety year old mortal grandchildren, getting a nice bathing suit with a little skirt for the 'girl' and some kind of trunks for the 'boy' so they could go to the roof-top pool of a nearby condominium and dunk themselves a few times. What are you gonna do? They were a family. You think people forget once they cross over? You think vampires just walk away from it all? Yeah, a few do... bastids.... assholes.... Most ain't like that. They funnel money to parents in Cremona, or threaten an Agent in L.A.. They stay involved.  Then, after a few decades, everybody dies... and then they set out to save the world, just like a farmer 'culling' his herd. That's what Jonathon does. That's what a lot of them do. This isn't a new thing. Vampires didn't start five hundred years ago, or four thousand years ago, or two thousand years ago. They've always been there.... a 'shadow humanity' waiting in the darkness. Look at 'Papa.' He's twenty eight thousand years old. But he isn't here now. 'Papa' is gone and no one knows where. And soon Sarah will be too. 

Edith and Annie will stay together. They'll have money... more than enough. Jonathon will see to that.  Perhaps Conrad will remain with them? wilkravitz will too. He's all agitated... can't sleep... nervous. Feels lost 'cause he couldn't 'sell' this. Wants to get the story out there. Told everybody it was real. Said so right from the beginning. You know... That line.... That first line... 'First of all, we must agree that what comes next is fiction...'  And he didn't white-wash anything. Go back to the early parts. It's all there. The pit. The two girls. The mortal line. The 'blood' line.... They fall off the wagon once in a while. Blameless people have died too. And still he wants to change the world...... 'Change the world'.... Do you know how hard it is to paint a house? 

So the train jumps the track. But the rails still remain. One night he'll come back, to the 'cause' I mean. Perhaps he'll be a paladin, taking on individual injustices along the way..... killing a cruel boss... propping up a wavering hero.

Oh, Philadelphia won't be without night-folk. Like I said, Conrad and Leo....Blackie and Minnie... Is Minnie still living?... I don't know..... And Baylah will be here. you know, she has so much more to say. 

And don't forget The Pines.... The New Jersey Pine Barrens are real. And they are there and they are waiting.... A vast expanse of mystery deep in the heart of Megalopolis, the biggest city the world has ever known....... You've seen ads for SWAMP MURDERS?...... Please..... That's all I'm going to say.

I'm Doctor Franklin and these hot, summer days are my 'season.' I wander 'round the city in a long vest and knee britches posing for photographs with smiling tourists waiting for their table at City Tavern. When the buzzer goes off they are gone. Put in the right pocket, it's more than a buzzer. Heh, heh, heh. You know me. 

Now I've got to go back to my compound. The specimens need food. And The Grand Armonica needs tuning.

But answer me this~~~> After staying with us for more than 700,000 words, will you ever look at vampires the same way again?

They hope and they dream, just like you do... But they take everything so much more to heart. 

Oh, the story isn't ending. The story never will. But you know what I mean.

You know, there's a short, tight, polished-up version of this. wilkravitz wrote it. I think it's for the screen. PHILADELPHIA AFTER DARK, he calls it. More coherent. More linear. The characters are a bit different. I believe Jonathon is a Scotsman in that one.

But it has a line at the end, when a certain much loved vampire finally wins his death. Just before his body ignites, he sighs and says - Look for me in the knowing eyes of a child. I have been among the dead too long..... Then his ashes dance up into the sky like snowflakes and mingle with the stars...

Now listen to the song down below... and know what night-folk really are.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE VAMPIRE WONDERLAND browse.feedreader.com/c/Billy_Kravitz_vampire_wonderland ... your comments are welcome. good night

The Kings of Summer Teaser Trailer - Sundance Film Festival 2013 and a former vampirina observes and confronts her new found mortality... 5/31/13

We were able to post tonight's not-to-be-missed warm weather flick, THE KINGS OF SUMMER, at the top of the post. And I have no idea how that happened. All I did was close my eyes and flutter my fingers over the keys, like an arthritic exercising his knuckles. For real... (sigh). That's what I did and tonight it worked. That's why I MUST be channeling it all, because I have no idea how any of this digital stuff actually operates. Boy, would I LOVE to post photographs... my own.... But I just do not know how. I practice in front of the medicine cabinet all the time..... My 'writer' look... My 'humorist' look... My 'whacky' look... Well, that one covers a lot of bases... and even my 'walking through the curtains on Jimmy Fallon' look. But so far they're just etched into the space-time continuum of an old, decaying mirror, like Lincoln's voice and Honus Wagner's fast ball.

Anyway, make sure you watch the clip. And make sure you see the film. In my opinion, STAND BY ME meets RUSHMORE with a pixilated (my favorite word) dose of sylvan magic.

We got a little pixilated thing over at the 'wonderland.' A seven or eight year old, stringy haired, white girl named Annie. I don't know why we call her 'the white girl.' Mister Never-You-Mind, our most popular disembodied spirit narrator, started it and it's become like a tradition 'round here. 

The Pineys, along with other Jersey Woodland exotics, helped her shed 'the burden' (the vampire term for what they got) via arcane 'pow-wow' magic, derived from The Biblical 'Year of Jubilee.' See, you can't miss any of this, 'cause a lot happens. So now she's back in the Philadelphia townhouse with her vampire step family and yadda-yadda-yadda, she has to make sense of it all-----

Edith (the Piney housekeeper) sits watching rock girls on Jimmy Fallon (second mention tonight), as Annie studies the contents of her snot-rags...... Ewww - she says. Where's it come from? My brain? .... No, right under it. Like between that soft spot, back a your mouth and the shelf where they keep your head guts - says the Piney woman..... But how do you know? - goes the stringy haired little thing..... Learned it in Sunday school. You know the original 'manna' was Kellogg's Sugar Frosted Flakes? Learned that too. And Salome was a thirty four 'B,' only they had different names for it back then...

The former vampirina shoots off four or five fast, little sneezes..... Shit! I can't s-s-stand this! - she goes. Where's them Flintstone Chewable Allergy pills!?..... 

Jonathon, her vampire step father, promised he'd bring them.  But this is his time a the month... the night he 'culls' somebody. And that always gets him all hot and bothered, so he slipped into an underground, never used subway line for a nice, cool sponge bath administered by his two 'mole-girl' sweeties, Sylvia and Aura, daughters of the Mole King himself. 

Sarah don't care. They driftin' apart. She still love him and all. But she don't care. Got a 'call' to search out secrets in Siberia. Vampires get that way sometime. You know that. So Jonathon settin' in an old wash tub, filled with drippy-drop water from a subterranean, rusty pipe, as two wide-eyed beauties chill him down with cold trickles wrung from semi-natural sea sponges boosted from a Locust Street drug store. They do occasionally get up to the surface. After that, they gonna play Betty Boop and Mussolini... Don't ask me. That's they name for it. Mole folks crazier than vampires.

So Annie leans against Edith's ample bosom and snorts the mucus back up into her brain pan. Vampire gals ain't gotta deal with crap like that. They most definitely do not. Sarah say she gonna give her a little booster shot a vampire blood... jus' a little drink. She still be mortal and all, only bye-bye to all them snot-rags. But she forgot, what with wanderin' through the dark, maze-like stacks of the Grand Central Library. That where she researchin' her trip. Much more atmospheric than some keyboard. Wonder what the no-home-guys, who hole up there at night, think when she come by?

Edith watchin' Hoda and Kathy-Lee. It a late night rerun. Annie sleepin.' This like her eight or ninth night a human sleep in two years. And she look so pretty... No, really. For Annie, she does....

Now this townhouse on a quiet street, one a them old-timey Philadelphia 'carriage ways' that got itself preserved into our time. Nobody walk down here. Not this late at night. It dark. Got little trees. But, still, they trees. Sometime a dog walker come through. They think that dog gonna save 'em. Sometime a hoodlum sneakin' away from a cop slide through. That how it is. Wonder if they ever think what goes on here. Wonder if they know how close they come to the mystery an' all?

But this place old. This Philadelphia. An' we got mystery up the wazoo...
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