BAD DREAMS ENTITY STYLE... 2/10/15

I don't let 'em put no name on this til after we done, 'cause how you know where a river gonna go til it get there. So you gotta know the name you see went up after we finished. It is only honest for me to tell you that. Jus' incase tou don't recall the cadence of my speech, I am Old Mister Never-You-Mind... one a them disembodied spirits that tell this tale... "Narrate' the term they use. Well, I one a them... a narrator. Some nights we don't announce who doing the talkin'. But we always here. Any big headed son a bitch what tell you he write a book, a liar, 'cause all he do is tap it out, if he got a keyboard, or scratch it out if he got a pencil... maybe some yellow, legal pads too, so I've been told. He a secretary. Some other soul do all the thinkin'. That how God set it up. He go - OK, you see it. You say it. You write it. You read it..... And all them 'yous' is mostly different people, 'case you can't tell.

We got lot a books born where I come from. Hatch 'em out like turtle eggs, or tadpoles. I am an old, dead Creole-Cajun 'gentlemen.' Lot a you know me. Lot a you don't. Got myself burned up by gangster-men. Tie me to a chair. Dowse me wit' gasoline and light me up. Wheee! Everybody laughin' an' clappin'... doin' them Spanish foot stompin' dances... I screamin' and screamin'... Them what say fire burnin' pain go way after first layer a nerves die is a lyin' bastid... 'cause under first nerves is more nerves what go all the way down to the bone. Plus burnt up pee-pee parts don't tickle none either. 

Look. lemme switch gears here an' tell you what went on in that townhouse. 

Jonathon come down holdin' his right eye. He go - Shit! I can't see! ... Sarah (she his wife) help him sit down on a sofa..... Edith (she the witchy-woman housekeeper) run in and go - What you mean? Vampire ain't supposed a go blind! ..... He shakin'. He scared..... Sarah go - Get him some vodka.... Jonathon go - NO! I don't need no liquor! Lemme be! Lemme be!....Please excuse me talkin' in my own voice, but that how I do..... So he just sit there, holdin' his hand over his eye an' rockin' back and forth real fast..... Broken, old, wax, monster, Groucho Marx lookin' thing still set across from sofa on another chair. Nobody pay it no mind. Figure that entity bastid ain't in it yet.... But they wrong.... Lights flicker. Not just in den, but all over the house. An' gas fireplace whoosh on.... Then it start makin' faces. Big fat, red, wet human tongue start pokin' out a cracked, wax mouth. From nowhere, Edith's hair goes up in flames. Can't even see her face. She starts screamin'! They jump up. Sarah grabs a pot. Fills it with water. Billy races down from his cozy, little room under the eaves. Then eight heartbeats later it's over. Ain't no fire. Edith ain't even burned. Red tongue gone too. Everybody shakin' an' cryin.' Sarah spill all the water back in the sink. 

Thing in the chair go - You assholes better set down and shut up! (only it use different words). I can't change nothin.' I can't manipulate matter. But I do 'mind whisper' real good. (looks at Jonathon) Get that hand away from your eye, you big dumb nut. You not blind. (Jonathon blinks, sighs and complies.) Now pay attention! Y'all gone help me. Y'all gone get me all fixed up. I will have that body. Don't cross me, or I will f#ck you up. I have made whole planets, bushel baskets full, piss theyselves and die, 'cause they see a big scary, two mile high tidal wave loom over the horizon. 'Cloud kissers,' they call 'em. You know what it feel like gettin' smashed underneath all that water? You wanna know?.... They shake their heads... The entity continues - An' when I stop and go 'OK, party's over,' they still dead. Don't make no difference where they be. Everybody see the water, an' that a horrible thing. But it not real. All just a optical delusion. That what I can do. An' don't think I ain't got dreams what can can finish off vampire too. Y'all wanna be forever in the gut of a giant cockroach? Lemme know. Edith!...... Housekeeper go - Y-y-yes?..... Thing go - Get them assholes some a that alcohol y'all drink 'round here. I want 'em real calm when we make our plans....

Then it look at that Billy guy what set this blog thing up for 'em. Glass eyes lock on real good. He make like he don't notice, but he do...

An' Edith give him a drink too....

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A SINISTER ENTITY GROWS IMPATIENT .. 2/9/15

<back to Jonathon and the entity>

Edith wanted to remove the grotesque wax figure. She was the one who had to look at it all day. I suppose their 'blogger,' Billy had to deal with it too. But he'd hide up in his cozy, little room under the eaves all day typing away and tweeting to people. Sometimes he just slept, or ate whatever food he had in the tiny refrigerator up there. For a city room, it was very quiet. Occasionally the little ghost boy from the basement came up to visit. Billy'd tell him stories about an addled knight named Sir Bertram Buckleberry. I don't know where they got the name, but the ghost boy liked it. Then, when he wasn't upstairs (Billy, I mean) he'd bundle up and go out, usually to a coffee bar, or a book shop, or a walk-about.

No, Edith had to confront the sinister, broken, Groucho Marx thing herself. Once she threw an old table cloth over it. But she swore she saw the head move under the creamy damask.

So she'd sit in the kitchen. There was a scaled down seating area adjacent to the backdoor... two small club chairs... a table... a lamp. She could see the twenty one inch, flat screen TV from there too. And the powder room was right nearby. So that's where she stayed. Housekeeping duties would have to wait until the broken, human effigy sitting in the den was gone. She did fix dinner for Billy and herself. Well, what she called 'dinner' was his late lunch. Though Edith hated handling knives now, especially the big, sharp kitchen knives. She'd hear noises... muffled words...a quiet, whispering, steady voice telling her to take a knife (one of the sharp ones) and force it into the flesh of her neck til she felt the tip puncture her esophagus.... It would cajole and plead and cry.... She caught herself raising the knife and staring at her reflection in the blade. What would it be like to saw through the gristle of her own food pipe?..... Steve Harvey saved her. He said something on the TV that caught her attention. She put the knife down. Now light can be grey and low on a Philadelphia winter afternoon. Shadows can play tricks. But Edith swears the thing on the chair in the den looked at her. She said a Piney Prayer, threw a hoo-doo and tried to ignore it, though the gaze was still the same. Worst of all... it tried to smile.

When Billy came down a bit later to see if she wanted anything at the market (vampires do drink tea and coconut water and things like that) she grabbed her coat and scarf and said - That's alright. I'll go..... Then she ran out into the cold, damp air and didn't come back til sundown. Billy said - It's a quarter to six. What took so long?..... Edith nervously put everything away and said - Nothing. sometimes it just takes long. That's all.

Billy said - Should I ask Groucho if he wants a piece of cheese?....... They always bought blocks of Cracker Barrel cheese.... Edith said - What are you playing around for? That's not funny.

But Jonathon and Sarah didn't come down til seven fifteen. Vampires always rise with the darkness. That was six o'clock... maybe ten after six. Also Jonathon was blind in one eye and that wasn't funny at all.

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The High Hatters - Look For The Silver Lining, 1929<~~ Billy Went time Traveling ..2/7/15

It was GREAT!... That grotesque, broken up, nineteen thirties era Groucho Marx wax figure thing sent me time traveling tonight. I was real scared at first, but Edith (who's sensitive about these things) felt he seemed to be sincere, so I went. Look, the worst that could have happened is I'd be stuck there, back in 1929. I'd buy up shares of International Business Machine (IBM) for peanuts and become a multi-multi-millionaire, go to Los Angeles, get a job at RKO or MGM and make movies. Think it was easier to do that back then.

Sure, the entity wanted to get rid of me. Made Edith go play slot machines too. Wanted to be all alone with Jonathon. Wants to talk him into doing you-know-what (go back a couple posts to find out what).



Gave me a real sharp, Botany 500 tweed suit.. a nice fedora... top coat and two hundred dollars in those old, big, greenbacks they used back then. Zapped me to Twenty Third and Market Street... the Erlanger Theater, to see SALLY, a new 'color' Vitaphone musical. Then I found Jonathon (remember, being a vampire, he was around back then too), filled him in on what his future self was up to and took him for drinks at the City Bar in the old Ritz Carlton Hotel. Gotta say, those Elliot Ness cars were real cool.



Brought back a souvenir record and sheet music from the theater concession stand. Used to sell them back then. Saw a few of my old family members too. Couldn't talk to them. Had to promise not to do that. But did send a postcard to a certain great grandfather tipping him to the coming October crash. Must have listened, 'cause that part of the family didn't lose much...Whoa! I did that!



Then, when the MUNICIPAL TIMEPIECE, the great, glowing, clock face, high atop the lofty, five hundred foot, Second Empire tower of City Hall struck 3AM, I was back... Not an instantaneous jolt. More like walking through a mist. I hailed a cab and came home.



The townhouse was quiet. Edith was still at the casino. Sarah was out too. The entity was gone, for now. I could tell. Oh, the battered wax figure was there. It still occupied the chair across from Jonathon, only, being empty and all, had a limp, lifeless look.



But Jonathon was thinking. So I turned out the light and left him there, bathed in the glow from the gas powered hearth. He likes that setting. Reminds him of Federalist times. Then I went up to my cozy, little room under the eaves. Though while I climbed the stairs, I thought I heard the old, wax figure laugh.



Please listen to the early recording up above. You might like it. 



And pay attention to the words...



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2/6/15 ..Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: A VAMPIRINA HELPS AN OLD TROOPER

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: A VAMPIRINA HELPS AN OLD TROOPER: Before we get back to the old man in Jerusalem, I have to tell you what Baylah did. See, this is why vampires are a necessary part of the hu...Excuse the italics, but I like the way it looks and felt like being fancy tonight. Too late to mount a new episode. Was busy with SHORTY AWARDS business. But here's a weird and pixilated peek into Baylah's life with her rich, mortal, boyfriend at the Jersey Shore (she's our Beyonce look-alike vampirina)... Plus a clown who gets caught takin' a toilet break with her Bozo suit down 'round her knees, as she guzzles Jack Daniels from a baby 'sippy cup' strapped on her ankle. Kid sees. Almost goes apoplectic. Moms start screamin'.. dogs start barkin'... Baylah saves her vampire style.



You can read it all by clicking where it says - Vampirina helps an old trooper... up above.... If you like (nice) towns at the Jersey shore... down on they luck clowns and hot, compassionate vampire ladies, this one's for you... Anderson Cooper ain't in this, but it's still real good. 



As always, PLEASE KNOW this isn't the story in question... just a warm up for the real thing. Click where it says VAMPIRINA HELPS AN OLD TROOPER up above and you'll see... Sorry, but I gotta say this. You wouldn't believe what people tweet. Guess they just sleepy.



<more Jonathon and the Entity next time>



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THE AGELESS ENTITY KNOWS THINGS ABOUT VAMPIRE, JONATHON, AND HELPS CHILDREN TOO.. 2/5/15

They had to part before sun up. Jonathon went up to join Sarah in their sleeping chamber.  The entity spent the day floating around with teachers, parents and grade school kids visiting The Philadelphia Museum of Art. The one with the ROCKY steps, in case you don't know. There are other art museums. That's the big one. The gift shop's to die for.... Ali Baba's cave in facsimile.... tasteful too. Three of the little kids cried, because they 'forgot' to bring money for the 'toy store.'.... Yeah, they got a 'toy store' too.... a separate souvenir shop just for kids. Try and pass it without going in. The docents will kill you. They train them for that. Scratch you with their rings and everything. But being completely telepathic, plus having what amounts to x-ray vision that radiates out globularly in three dimensions, the entity stepped in to help them. He 'whispered' in the little girl's ear - Somebody lost a wallet behind the bust of Amelia Earhart. Look behind the white plinth. It's on the floor...... The girl didn't know what any of that meant on a verbal level, but the entity really knew how to communicate. You know how dogs know what's going on with their limited vocabulary? You know how they just 'get it' on a fundamental level? Well, little kids yearning for toys can do that too. She couldn't tell you why, but for some reason she stepped away from 'somebody's mommy' who was watching them and peeked behind the glossy, white, rectangular platform holding the bust of the famed aviatrix. There it was... a black, leather, man's wallet. She picked it up and looked. It held seven twenty dollar bills. She called her friend. No one noticed. This was a rest break. Everybody sat on heavy, varnished oak benches and went to pee in groups of five. Kids got up. They talked. They sat down. A few spun around and got dizzy. As long as the adults manned the perimeters it was all right. Two children, off in a corner, with their heads together chatting were invisible. They knew numbers. Second graders can count to one hundred. That's why they decided to give forty dollars to a little boy they liked. One hundred dollars they could understand. Beyond that, they just giggled.

So three kids went home with beautiful pleather cased art kits filled with neatly arranged paint pens, colored pencils, water colors, exquisite sheets of artist grade paper and everything else nascent creative souls could possibly need.... with enough left over for many, many trips to the dollar store.

Maybe the entity clouded adult minds too? He must have, because no one asked any questions.

That afternoon, as the sun went down, the ageless spirit-thing 'thought' itself back to the townhouse. Edith knew it was there.  The small, flat-screen television in the kitchen fizzed into static during a cable mockumentary about merfolk (if they only knew) and the gas powered fireplace in the den crackled and popped, something it was not supposed to do..... Edith lowered the shades, drew the curtains and turned on the lights... Not bright... Not glaring... Just enough so 'special' folk could see.

A bit later, Jonathon came down. Sarah came with him. They entered the den, sat on the sofa.... he in his black jeans and leather bootkins.... she in her soft sweaters and fine slacks. Across from them sat the broken, nineteen thirties era, Groucho Marx, effigy figure thing kidnapped from a wax museum. They watched as the entity reclaimed it. The glass eyes rolled. The broken limbs (remember, the figure was originally meant to stand) creaked. The jaw, by this time, hung slack and unsupported, as the thing began to 'speak,' or at least create words in the minds of our vampires. Edith, from her place in the kitchen, heard nothing. She just sat there, leafing through her PEOPLE magazine and watching from the corner of her eye, as it all transpired.

The thing 'said' - If you do this for me, if you dress my soul in flesh,  you shall see wondrous things. For I have read your dreams and weighed your heart and know that which you, yourself have yet to recognize.

What are those 'wondrous things?' - asked Jonathon.

I shall raise up a prince in Israel... not a king, for I know your Earthly faiths and it is not the time for that. Lord of The Galilee, or Sea of Harps, as it was called... Lord of The Negev... Protector of the Plain of Sharon... Defender of the Peace of Jerusalem... Great Steward of The Messianic Throne... Prince of Israel... Do you like that?

Jonathon swallowed and nodded. Sarah took his hand, for she knew how strong he believed.... The entity said - Good, because I just made it up. And if not the Temple... The Tabernacle. I know the politics involved in these things. Irresponsible, I am not. Two principalities I shall raise.... The House of Israel and The House of Ishmael. And they shall achieve together and there shall be peace, just as there was between Israel and Phoenicia under a younger sun..... Well? Shall we do this?

When Edith saw him cry, she knew something was up and silently crept in to see things first hand.

Though for the longest time nothing happened. Jonathon sobbed. Sarah held him and that was it.

The Groucho thing just sat there, slumped in its chair, like a life size, ruined doll.

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This Is How Spirits See ---You Are My Sunshine by Mississippi John Hurt ... 2/4/15

a continuation of yesterday's post~~~



Jonathon feels thing. He really feels things. Many 'noble' vampires do. He's not unique that way. You know how religious he is. And I don't mean ritualistic, although our boy from old Al Andalus is not adverse to the sustaining continuity of it all. A vampire who attends services for The Biblical New Year and Passover Time. He sits in the back (Sarah often goes with him) and he cries. Oh, not theatrically... not so anyone would notice. But he tears up to the point where facial tissue is a necessity. 



So he sits there and he listens to a strange guest... an ageless spirit squatting in a broken wax figure of a nineteen thirties Groucho Marx. Edith tip toes in with a bit of cold, flavored vodka for Jonathon. She gives a nervous, little smile to the grotesque 'Pinocchio' seated a few feet away. He can't smile back. The broken armature under the wax won't let him. But from somewhere deep inside the kidnapped 'Captain Spaulding' come a quiet, 'hullo.'...... Edith nods. How many people get to trade social niceties with a witness to 'creation?'.... Well, if not to the universe, at least to the galaxy.



The entity addressed Jonathon and said - Do you know how I see things?..... Jonathon shook his head.... The thing said - Everything is grey. Not the same shade. But it's all grey. Dense material is darker. More nebulous things have a lighter shade. There are countless shades of grey, though I rarely see true white, for even space is not an absolute vacuum. And I rarely see true black. Even entities such as I fear black holes. When I look at you, I see the bones within your body. I see the keys in your pocket, the zipper on your pants. I see old, thick beams in the walls. And oddly enough, windows look dark to me. Glass is fairly dense. You have a very well-formed skull. Did you know that?..... Jonathon whispered - No...... The spirit went on - Your sun is a charcoal disc on a white sky. Shades of Grey... that's all I see. But my field of vision is complete... three hundred and sixty degrees, you might say. I see through the floor, down through the basement and into the soil and rocks beyond. It never stops. I see everything and nothing. ... Sound is like that too. Don't ask me to go into it. 



The thing stopped. It was quiet. Jonathon just sat there. He sipped his drink. Vampires, as you know, can tolerate clear, or almost clear, liquids...... The entity said - I can see the organs and structures move in your throat when you do that. Will you help me? I've been like this forever. My kind never changes. I can't adapt. I don't even know why I'm here.



What do you want me to do? - asked Jonathon.



Liberate me - said the thing. Help me see the sun and sky... help me see the world as it is. Stop the teeming storm I live in now.  



Then it jerked the 'Groucho' hands up to it's face, and sobbed.... But all these physical manifestations were merely for effect. The wax figure was just a puppet. Jonathon knew that.



Truly disembodies spirits... entities that have never been flesh, suffer spells. They crave bodies. They need freedom. They drift among the stars. It never ends.



Why is it in our material world at all?



Enjoy the sunshine and all the pretty colors.



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JONATHON AND THE ENTITY SPEAK... 2/3/15

I scared you last time. Should never have come at you in that place and definitely not as a cadaverous child. Forgive me my excesses. But I have seen so many things and have a taste for drama - said the entity.

Jonathon simply sat in his chair and did not say a word. He just looked at the 'thing' seated across from him.... a wax facsimile of a nineteen thirties Groucho Marx.  Apparently the entity filched it from a Madame Tussaud's somewhere... a slight parlor trick for one so powerful as he. But the joints were all broken now. That's how he was able to sit in the chair. Did he walk through the streets like that, all jingly and jangly like a puppet, or did he materialize by the door?... Edith let him in. You know she's something of a telepath. Unexpected spirit beings are nothing new to her. 

Then the thing said - Please, I have had the floor long enough. Tell me of the mysteries you have seen. I'd like to learn more about you..... Jonathon inhaled. He hated watching it. The jaw... the lower mandible, barely moved. It just creaked up and down a bit, as words escaped into the ether. Apparently the interior armature supporting this classic, American comedian was metallic and not designed for speech.

Jonathon studied the fire and thought for a few heartbeats. Then he said - I have encountered beings, creatures more or less like myself, miles beneath the surface of the sea. We go there for the darkness, you know. And these immortal individuals communicate with no one, nor do they move. In some remote parts of the abyss they litter the seabed like statues... bleached white and motionless... naked images of what was once human. I see them only with the magic of vampire eyes. God knows what they see. Some lay with their faces in the sand... others haven't opened their eyes in centuries. Small white crabs scuttle over them, picking off errant barnacles and other trespassers. A few still need blood. On this world, our kind has an arrangement with the princes of the sea. And I speak not of merfolk, but of the cetacean nobility... From time to time a prince comes down... a huge sperm whale, perhaps eighty feet long. How gentle they can be... a living 'submarine' carefully hovering just above the teeth of a needy vampire. They could crush the thing, but they don't. And the blood drinker gets a meal, equal in volume to a full human life, but not as satisfying, for no death takes place. Imagine what transpires down in that icy, crushing darkness. The krakken (giant squid) hunts there too, you and merfolk search for huge, white  pearls, big as baby's skulls. 

How poetic - said the entity. Do you stay there long?..... No - said Jonathon. I don't. But I do go down from time to time...... Does it trouble you, the black, cold, isolation, I mean? - asked the Groucho thing...... Jonathon nodded..... My, how 'human' you are. How mortal. I like that. I can sense it. (and then, in a slightly more guttural tone) I need it. Will you help me?

Jonathon looked at the fire (the only light in the room) and didn't say a word.

Strange sounds emanated from the Groucho thing. Our Philadelphia vampirino looked up to see tears dripping from the dead glass eyes. The entity was crying.

Neither moved... Such a strange tableau... a trim, dark haired vampire and a broken, kidnapped wax figure, brushed by the glow of a pre-dawn fire.

Outside the city slept, trapped under a thin, cold shell of ice... as were so many other waiting things.....

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